To be annoyed that I've batched cooked for postpartum and DP is eating all of the food now?

[catmum789]

So me and DP are in the process of buying a house and cause of circumstances I cannot stay round his current house every night because he has a son and I need to work and can't work and be a babysitter. The new house will have an office on the third floor. I stay over only 2/3 nights a week. This weekend I have stood for hours and batch cooked lots of freezer meals for when our baby comes (I am 33 weeks pregnant, no judgement we are buying a house and will have a house by the time baby is here, there are problems with our sellers that are holding the sale up) so on the days I'm not at his he has been telling me that he and his son have been eating the food I prepared for when baby is here so most things have gone!!! Im annoyed cause I portioned the meals out for 2 so we can put them in the oven when baby is here and I don't have to stress. But he has been eating them with his son who already has a hot hearty meal at nursery. He's ate the food I spent hours preparing bare in mind I stood for hours with sciatica and an iron deficiency so constant heart palpitations when I was doing it and he was watching the football!!! Urgh please someone tell me if I'm being a hormonal monster or if you get where I'm coming from!

So you're having a baby with a man who lets you slave over a stove while he watches the footy
You don't live with him because you'd end up babysitting his son
He's scoffed all the food you've made (and presumably paid for) when after you've had your baby
You have made meals which won't feed everyone in the household
His son eats all the food you've made except during normal circumstances when you're there when he won't eat anything you make

I predict you'll be back here in 6 months complaining that you're stuck looking after the baby and his son while your baby's dad is down the pub/in the gym.

I’ve seen some of your previous threads but is he also the guys who eats up your share of takeaway/ treat food, after already guzzling down his own?

OP, you've just had a really good look at what your life will be like if you move in with this man.
Please don't go through with this, he will grind you down. He is already making you doubt yourself. He is selfish and callous. I can't help wondering what on earth he feeds his son when you are not there (and there is nothing in the freezer provided by you).

Omg I've just read your other thread where he's said you'll be financially solely responsible for the baby.

Dear god.

Fucking hell. The handmaidens and stepmother haters are here in force tonight.

She isn't "begrudging" the child (with whom she does but even live) food. He has an actual parent who has a duty to provide nutritious food. Though I suppose his big swinging dick gets in the way of the cooker ...

The OP batch cooked in order to plan ahead for post partum to ensure she had nutritious food available. Presumably because bit swinging dick can't be expected to cook for her. Knowing this he started scoffing it ahead of time and without even sharing with her! The person who had cooked and paid for the meals!

Thirdly, she batch cooked for 2 rather than 2.5 because she has cooked for the child before AND HE DIDN'T LIKE ANYTHING SHE MADE AND JUST WANTED A SNACK. Big swinging dick says he's been feeding the meals too the child (but with pasta and garlic bread) so I suspect one of two things:

1. The second portion (Op's portion!) is getting picked at and binned. What a waste!
2. The child is having a tiny amount of the second portion and filing up on bread and greedy big swinging dick is scoffing a double helping.

When my kids were little they didn't eat with us weekday evenings; it was too late. They got fed - small portion of leftovers from our previous day's dinner or something snackier like a sandwich or scrambled egg on toast if the dinner was something they wouldn't like - youngest was much fussier. I wouldn't waste what was likely to end up on the floor or in the bin. They were not "begrudged food" or sent to bed hungry.

He is being very selfish.

I haven't read your other threads but based on the reaction of others, he sounds horrible.

In the meantime, can you just put a total ban on DP eating ANY of the cooked frozen food?

Just freeze one portion meals for yourself and tell him he is not to touch ANY of it.

He sounds awful.

Make him cook replacements and check he’s stocked the freezer, and if he doesn’t do it he needs to buy decent ready meals from COOK.

He should be cooking additional meals for his own son.

I’d be concerned he’s not going to help you much when the baby comes...

Also, whether his son is a fussy eater or not, children do need something else decent and filling after nursery.

If he’s not offered lots of things he’ll never outgrow his fussiness, and they’re usually hungry again in the evening. My DS always gets a hot evening meal at home after nursery.

This thread is mad. Absolutely mad. The OP posts about ONE issue - DP eating food made for PP. Yet posters have pulled apart every single tiniest irrelevant detail in her posts and blown every one up out of proportion.

Answer the question or find something more useful to do.

OP no, he shouldn't have eaten the food. My guess is he opened the freezer and though Wahey, that'll be easier than cooking from scratch/a nice change from beige freezer food.

I don't understand all the froth and venom towards the OP here (putting to one side for a minute her previous posts)

-she is 33 weeks pregnant and wanted to prepare meals for when the baby arrives

-she is recovering from an eating disorder so is probably very specific about these meals and (rightly) doesn't want to fall into old habits

-she works from her own place most of the week as her work takes her into the evenings and she has sensitive content to discuss not appropriate for a 3 year old

-she left the meals in DPs freezer as she has ordered a larger one for the new house they have yet to move into

-her partners child is at nursery for full days so (if anything like ours) he gets 3 full meals and requires something before bed. OP assumed this wouldn't be a full meal (differs child to child)

-OP has made separate meals for DSS before but they haven't been eaten so she stopped and assumed (GASP) that the father would prepare something

-OP has only prepared meals for 2 as they both eat when the 3 year old is in bed post 7pm (again, completely normal for many parents)

AIBU: her DP ate into these meals and fed them to his son knowing they had been prepped for when the baby arrived

Conclusion: your DP is a twat (and it sounds like this extends beyond eating the food)

@catmum789

I think him eating the batch cooking is the least of your worries to be honest
You need to sort your loving arrangements out and take on board being a step-parent otherwise this will not go very well

You have a keeper there until he goes off with the next woman.

[quote feelsobadfeltsogood]@catmum789

I think him eating the batch cooking is the least of your worries to be honest
You need to sort your loving arrangements out and take on board being a step-parent otherwise this will not go very well [/quote]
All her fault then yeah?

It's much easier to see the red flags now and pause the moving in together than once you buy a house and have a child.

Babies and toddlers are fine with spicy foods if they like the taste. My boys were weaned on my mother in laws curry recipes, which when made from scratch are low in salt anyway. I just used to pick the chillies out.

I don't want to eat a frozen meal that has been reheated twice

No, you don't have an issue with bacteria (well, you may do more generally and I completely understand that, but not in this specific case). You are quite right that you should not reheat frozen meals twice for genuine food safety reasons, so anyone who has told you that you "have an issue" for not doing so is wrong.

I'll leave my comments about your partner and situation until I've read the full thread.

@hotmeatymilk thank you - that makes sense now!

This sounds miserable - why isn’t your partner cooking for you and for his son?

If the boy is in daycare until 5pm and goes to bed at 7pm why can’t you be in the same house as him?

Why was the food cooked and out into their freezer?

Does your partner make you feel special, do you want to be with him?

But won’t it all just defrost in the move?

My goodness, 10 pages in and while you've been back to clarify a million little details about your lives, you've dodged the obvious questions so many people have asked you. Is this a wind up? I'll ask again:

Did you tell him 'I want you to stop eating my food, and replace the food you've eaten this week?'.

What was his response?

So, remind me. What did he say when you told him he would be buying, prepping and freezing replacement meals?

You make it sound like you begrudge his son being fed a dinner when he’s had a meal at nursery! Do you?

His father, your partner, is the problem here. I pity his son if his father is too lazy/ disorganised/ selfish to sort out his meals and his stepmom begrudges him being fed.

You don’t recover from an eating disorder you are IN recovery do you understand the difference?

And pregnancy is a tough time for folks with ED’s so bare that in mind when getting het up about food for example massive batch cooking is an odd thing to do with sciatica , why didn’t he do that ?? maybe you are still being v controlling around yours and everyone’s food

Batch cooking is one of those things everyone say you should do when you are about to have your first child. In reality you rarely feel like having one of the countless portions of lasagne you made anyway. I think we still have batch cooked things in the freezer from before when DC1 was born (he is 4 now). I certainly found that cooking a quick meal was a nice break from intense newborn parenting and gives you a bit of breathing space, so I would just say that batch cooking is over-rated anyway.

I think that is nasty of him, knowing you had an ED and knowing you were trying to plan ahead to stop it coming back, and he’s eaten all that food, that’s despicable

Yup. It's either nasty, or just completely thoughtless. Or self-centred. None of these bode well.

Either way, this:
I’m afraid,he’s showing you who he is ,and what he thinks of you.

And:
I get told I'm hormonal all of the time and don't have any friends or family to talk to

By whom - him? Can't stand people who regularly play the "you're hormonal" card to get away with being unreasonable.

And you are isolated from (or don't have) friends/family to talk to - is this anything to do with him? If it's not, it still makes you vulnerable to unpleasant men who seek vulnerability out.

I am not liking the way this is looking with this man... what else is he like/does he do or not do?

I don't eat carbs at the moment, so having a stock of batch cooked, low carb meals in the freezer is really helpful. They taste great too.