'They've got their own lives' and other stock phrases

[saywhatagain]

I'm an adult social worker and I hear words to the tune of 'X never visits/helps because they have their own lives' many times a month.

Another popular one is 'I've worked all my life and now I have to pay, but if I'd sat on my arse my whole life / was an immigrant (etc) I'd get it all for free'.

Or another popular one, 'the GP gave me your number as my mother/father/aunt (etc) needs to go into a care home right NOW' - and 9/10 times it's a either health need not a social one or the person is nowhere near care home ready.

Tell me yours for your job, make me feel better about the Groundhog Day that my job is at the moment?

I haven't 'spammed' anything I'm responding to other people's comments to me. Do you understand how this forum works? It seems like you don't.

Cool. Everyone ignore flymetotheloon and she'll go away.

Social workers really are treated the lowest of the low.
Yet very few actually would take the job and step up to try and help people whilst constantly being fucked from every direction, the government, the council, the families, the general public.

The social worker who dealt with my mother was fucking amazing. And I wouldn’t begrudge her moaning about generic phrases when she’s had a tough day.

@flymetotheloon no flying needed, you’ve already got there

@TheProvincialLady

OP is very clearly talking about my my great aunt Kathleen Hunter of 45 Larch Road Wolverhampton and my faith in social care is now in TATTERS

Gasping, laughing so much. Love this place for the wit alone.

Me ; “Is there anything else I can do to help you?”customer; “yes, tell me tonight’s lottery numbers “ ha ha bloody ha

“I’ll close all my accounts if you don’t pay me lots of compensation” - no you won’t. They never do.

Me “no, sorry that’s not possible. When payment is taken you are told that the booking is non refundable and so I’m unable to offer a refund”
Customer “can I speak to a manager then?”
Me “I’m sorry but the manager won’t be able to tell you anything that I’m not telling you but you can email them at [email protected] if you’re unhappy”
Customer “fine”
They then email the address and I reply to them to tell them exactly the same thing. They ask to speak to someone, I give them the phone number of the woman sat next to me and the whole process is repeated, sometimes over the course of a whole week before they decide to give up.

This all happens less with Covid as there are obviously exceptions now which livens it up slightly, I guess.

@SemiAquaticWoman

I have a relative who needs the services of Adult Social Care. I am estranged from this person because they joined with another family member in emotionally abusing me to the point of a breakdown and near suicide. I am acutely aware of the costs to an overstretched department of their care. If I was able to meet some of their needs it would save time and money for people like OP. But I just can't bring myself to see this person again. I feel immense guilt and shame about the situation and never talk about it as I don't think most people would understand. However I would expect better from a professional. Remarks like OP's, even though they are generic and not aimed at me personally, add to the pain and shame. I'm disappointed at the attitude that if anyone needs help from social services it means their family hasn't tried hard enough. Should we expect no help from the state at all?

Thats not at all what OP is saying. Its a fact that older people say this a lot as anyone who has worked with them us aware. Even when it's not entirely true. My dad told his supported housing worker that he would rather ask her for help than me, as I was too busy, and had my own life. She laughed with me about that, knowing I visited every day.

@5zeds

“You really mustn’t compare them” for the first three or four years of dds life starting day two. Really? REALLY? Why? Why wouldn’t I compare my baby to her three siblings? They’re genetically closer to her than anyone else. She won’t live independently and requires 1:1 care and 15 years later it still irritates the hell out of me that I had to listen to that crap.

Oh Christ, I can really relate to that. I also was repeatedly told he's a boy, he's lazy or that his brother was 'talking for him'.

No. No you patronising, minimising fuck wit. He's disabled.

@Namechangedforspooky weirdly the ‘well what it is…’ bullshit alarm also applies to IT helpdesks 😂

@saywhatagain I hear what you hear daily at work as well and some.
And I think some posters are getting their keyboards in a twist.

Christ during lockdown there was a thread ' nhs staff tell us the reality'
Not one poster on there told any of us that we were breaking confidentiality, that we were a disgrace to our profession.

I think atm emotions are high surrounding social workers , but surprisingly a social worker is human. Surprisingly being a social worker is a ungrateful job. So yes op has come and said some phrases that she hears everyday.
She hasn't broken any confidentiality clauses.

To the pp asking if I've considered a change of career, yes I have, but I do love my job and what I do. Another pp was right though, we do develop a thicker skin and we can sometimes have a darker sense of humour. We need it to deal with some of the things we have to deal with.

When I'm lying awake tonight worrying about my cases I'll be sure to feel bad about making this post for what was supposed to be light hearted and not intended to turn into a debate about social work ethics.

I used to work at Claire's accessories. Back then the tape had an advert for ear piercing that went;

"Here at Claire's we've now pierced over 50 million ears!"

Every time I was doing a piercing and that came one someone would say;

"It's 50 million and 1 now"

🤦‍♀️

My Mil told anyone who would listen that DH never bothered to come and see her because he was too busy with his own life when he actually went almost every day during the last 6 months of her life. Everybody knew it wasn't true.

@flymetotheloon

Yes, Luredbyapomegranate I am serious. I work in a related field to SW and I could expect serious repercussions for posting in such a flippant and sneering way about clients I am paid to work with safely and ethically.

What makes you think this is ok or an appropriate place for this OP to vent? Have you ever read an ethical code for this kind of profession?

Blimey So it’s ok to be patronising, aggressive and condescending as long as it’s not paid work then? What if @Aussiegirl123456 turned out to be a client of yours? You’ve been pretty personal on here.

I agree with @Thursdaymiami, social workers have an extremely difficult job in the most difficult of circumstances, and even when things were very fraught with my DM and I didn't know what to do, an adult social worker called Sarah did the very best she could to help even though the options and resources were limited. When DM passed away I thanked her for all her efforts and wished her the best in a difficult job.

When Sarah has had a shitty week I certainly wouldn't begrudge her a moan about the things she hears on repeat endlessly, she's only human and so is OP, and MN is a forum of millions of users where we all talk nonsense much of the time anyway. Why can't she?

Seems her biggest mistake was admitting her profession. OP.

I work in a foreign exchange bureau these are some of my favourites that I hear at least one a day

'Doesn't it look like monopoly money!'- nope, only monopoly looks like monopoly money
'How do you count all that?' If I can count to 10 I can count in millions
'Dont you get bored counting all day?'- do you usually ask people if their jobs or boring or is it just mine?
'Its a much better rate online'- that's the stock exchange rate, you can only get close to that if you're trading in the 10s of thousands.
'So you're making money from me then'- yes thats generally how business work

@Aussiegirl123456 and @drinkingwineoutofamug thank you both - and others who have been kind tonight!

“How much” “Will this be expensive” worst “Just put them to sleep”

Unfortunately you didn’t buy pet insurance for your dog/cat/pet.
Never from an owner who has insurance when their pet requires treatment or op.

@saywhatagain

To the pp asking if I've considered a change of career, yes I have, but I do love my job and what I do. Another pp was right though, we do develop a thicker skin and we can sometimes have a darker sense of humour. We need it to deal with some of the things we have to deal with.

When I'm lying awake tonight worrying about my cases I'll be sure to feel bad about making this post for what was supposed to be light hearted and not intended to turn into a debate about social work ethics.

And anyone who was actually doing this type of job would know this. Its only the armchair experts judging without experience or knowledge that think otherwise. Sleep with a clear conscience, you're making a difference and improving lives. I'm willing to bet they can't all say the same.

I wouldn't have your job for quids, OP (which is probably something else you hear every day). You're absolutely entitled to have a mild moan about these things.

I had (a different) job that people would say the same thing about, and gallows humour is what kept us sane. Even though we felt deeply for the people we supported, and would never in a million years abuse their confidentiality. .

OP, thanks for what you do. I know a lot of social workers and my god, what a tough job. You were obviously in no way sneering, it is tragic to hear how many people don't have support from their families. (Yes, I know some people are NC for good reasons, it is still sad as a human to see another human on their own). There is a lot of projection on this thread and a lot of SW bashing so glad you are not taking it too seriously.

@Sweatilicious that's a lovely thing to say. Let's hope we can all be Sarahs.

@flymetotheloon When you are a professional with an ethical code you might understand, but clearly you aren't.
"When" suggests it's something I'm aiming to attain, which is not the case. You don't understand the difference between generic and general. Hopefully you've looked it up now.

This could have been a fun, ranty, quirky thread, but it's been ruined by @flymetotheloon derailing it. It will probably be deleted soon.