'They've got their own lives' and other stock phrases

[saywhatagain]

I'm an adult social worker and I hear words to the tune of 'X never visits/helps because they have their own lives' many times a month.

Another popular one is 'I've worked all my life and now I have to pay, but if I'd sat on my arse my whole life / was an immigrant (etc) I'd get it all for free'.

Or another popular one, 'the GP gave me your number as my mother/father/aunt (etc) needs to go into a care home right NOW' - and 9/10 times it's a either health need not a social one or the person is nowhere near care home ready.

Tell me yours for your job, make me feel better about the Groundhog Day that my job is at the moment?

But I’m going to annoy the social worker and piss them off if I say I have no help.

@BeyondMyWits

Pharmacy... the doctor said it would be here and ready in 20min.

Yeah...that's because GPs do actually say that!

Laughing at “what it is right” as mentioned by a few posters as husband (whose job I won’t mention in case someone gets upset) used to say that would guarantee him absolutely taking no notice of what was said.

Its not a stock phrase from clients but my brother is a software engineer and before he got his current job he used to do tech support. He said they have a code for certain callouts/issues that clients make: PICNIC. That call was a PICNIC.
Problem
In
Chair
Not
In
Computer

. I work with SW every day. They are usually without exception the most amazing, caring, dedicated people who work long long unpaid hours in the most unsupported environment I have ever encountered.

Really ?? Recent events would say otherwise.

@HoboSexualOnslow

Yes, I am completely housebound. Don't come on Wednesday's though as I go to bingo. Fridays are out aswell as I go to the shops. So you're not housebound then? Yes, I am. Continue for 10 minutes.

Just coming on to say this! Also I need transport to the appointment, but they can't come before 8 as I'll be on the school run...

@lollipoprainbow

. I work with SW every day. They are usually without exception the most amazing, caring, dedicated people who work long long unpaid hours in the most unsupported environment I have ever encountered.

Really ?? Recent events would say otherwise.

Well no, it wouldn't. A sense of proportionality wouldn't go amiss here.

but I sometimes work with sws when child protection overlaps with criminal charges. I’ve experienced a whole range of expertise - from really poor undertrained not suited at all no common sense right through to exemplary professionalism - all in some of the toughest circs imaginable. Huge problem is that when things go wrong with vulnerable clients not protected through negligence the consequences can be tragic.

@saywhatagain

I'm an adult social worker and I hear words to the tune of 'X never visits/helps because they have their own lives' many times a month.

Another popular one is 'I've worked all my life and now I have to pay, but if I'd sat on my arse my whole life / was an immigrant (etc) I'd get it all for free'.

Or another popular one, 'the GP gave me your number as my mother/father/aunt (etc) needs to go into a care home right NOW' - and 9/10 times it's a either health need not a social one or the person is nowhere near care home ready.

Tell me yours for your job, make me feel better about the Groundhog Day that my job is at the moment?

Wow you really just can't say anything anymore, can you?

Post is not breaking confidentiality but does come across as rather judgemental. So does taint the profession imo. I know someone who got into trouble for similar sm posts that they had thought were not identifiable to them.

[quote MintyCedric]@SemiAquaticWoman

I agree with you...these kind of comments aren't helpful if you're a relative of one of the 'they ha e their own life' brigade.

I spent the first half of the pandemic caring for my 'end of life' dad whilst working fulltime from home and single parenting my 15yo I her first year of GCSEs.

I took an unpaid sabbatical for the first 8 mo ths of the year, during which time dad passed away. I subsequently gave up my job to support my mum.

She refuses to engage with virtually any help or positive suggestions e.g. antidepressants, counselling, letting me take her out to places where she could establish new friendships.

She will generally tell her friends and visiting professionals that I 'pop in a couple of times a week' when in fact I'm there 5 days and one night a week, for a minimum of 3 hours at a time, call every evening and at least twice a day if I don't visit.

I no longer have my own life, although I'm sure mum gives people that impression. The thought of being judged by a social worker in that way (not that we've seen one in the entire duration) is crushing.[/quote]
Spot on, thank you. Always felt judged and now know it's true.

@flymetotheloon

Wow.

What an unprofessional post from a SW bitching about the things that clients say.

Especially given recent news events.

Ever heard of confidentiality?

There's no breaking confidentiality. No one could be identified by that post. Any more than if a doctor said that they deal with patients with cancer.

And the OP is allowed to be exasperated and let off steam.

Crikey, the fun sponges came out en masse - I'll need to update my spreadsheet.

I worked within psychology and no end of people would be asking me if I was analysing them when I was at parties, pubs, dinners etc.

Oops - just broken confidentiality so will pop and report myself

It’s not breaking confidentiality but it is unprofessional.

@Helspopje

I’d like to see the senior/boss dr (meaning the make nurse, junior dr or medical student that’s come with me on the ward round (where I’m the consultant and clearly the oldest person there)

Well if the male nurse, junior dr or medical student that is with you why would they be asking to see them? Wouldn't they just speak to them?

Doesn't make sense to me.

@Helspopje

I’d like to see the senior/boss dr (meaning the make nurse, junior dr or medical student that’s come with me on the ward round (where I’m the consultant and clearly the oldest person there)

Wow, that's really infuriating.

I met a black, female senior surgeon once, who had it doubled down. People just can't help but reveal their misogyny/racism.

I work in a school so have the same conversations day after day after day with kids and their parents. I get how wearing it is op

@ElectraBlue

I suggest you get a new job since you seem to think that being judgemental and sharing confidential information about your clients is part of your duties...

Well I suggest you get yourself some perspective.

The most overused phrase seems to be some variation on
"I pay my taxes/I'm a taxpayer you know...... I pay your wages" used towards NHS staff, Local Govt, Police, Social Workers etc..

In my old career, I often heard "But I just want you to stick it back on" far more than anyone should have to.
The job was literally never to just stick anything back on.

I deal with people who use the phonetic alphabet, often badly. It's very funny listening to them desperately searching for the right words.

"Err.....P for Peanut, X for XFactor, K for knickers, U for undercarriage and Err.... I dunno, S for south Venezuelan sloth?......"

@Aussiegirl123456

Ok flymetotheloon

As the OP’s post broke confidentiality rules can you please let me know what client she was talking about so I can go and visit them as their children don’t? Thanks 🙏

👏🏻😂

"I'm using the same password as I have done every day, but the system seems to have changed it"

"I have always done it this way, but it seems the system has changed it over night"

Sure. Sure. What actually happens, is after working 10 hour days, we log on in the night and change it around for fun

@mbosnz

I can only think that 'flymetotheloon's user name is singularly apt, after her response to Aussiegirl.

Quite agree 😊

@lollipoprainbow

. I work with SW every day. They are usually without exception the most amazing, caring, dedicated people who work long long unpaid hours in the most unsupported environment I have ever encountered.

Really ?? Recent events would say otherwise.

Really? It's not because they're working long, long hours in the most unsupported environment that caused the problems?

'They've got their own lives'

I tend to think that often (not always, but often) you reap what you sow as a parent in your old age. If you were a very emotionally available, put your children first and were not a selfish, self absorbed or deeply flawed, highly critical or narcissistic parent, then you have far better odds of having adult DC who care about your loneliness and care about your meaningful quality of life in old age.

I would never see my mother suffer or not have her most basic needs met, I'll fulfil my obligations to put plans in place for her when and if the time comes, but I don't feel any obligation to provide her with round the clock company or care from me.

That pretty much mirrors the parenting experience I had growing up. It didn't feel like I was that much of a priority to her, so she isn't to me.