I was called rude this morning - AIBU?

[Dinosaurhearmeroar]

Hi everyone,

I had a call on the way to work from a random number - I picked up and it was someone asking if I was XX. I was tired and had a headache and said, "why are you calling so early?" (It was 7:20am). He replied;"I am a recruiter for supply teaching." I replied: "I have a permanent job, please take me off your books." Him: "Honestly. you don't have to be so rude." Me: "I'm tired and you know nothing about my life. Goodbye."

I then thought about the encounter all the way to work (another 30 minutes). Was I horrible? Am I someone who makes society worse with their behaviour? I have always been someone who smiles and is "nice" but sometimes it doesn't get me too far - particularly with men. Men still expect me to move out of the way, be a certain type of kind etc. and I sometimes have had enough. I do think I am angry and exhausted and my attempts to assert myself might come across as rude.

While I write this, I can't help thinking - would I even be questioning any of my behaviour if I was a man? Or even just a different woman?

Anyway - sorry for the thought ramble. I feel bad and then feel bad for feeling bad!

Thank you for your time XX

Why did the OP ask to be taken off of the recruiter's books, when she claims it was a wrong number? Mighty strange that the enormous dripfeed only occurred after the responses weren't quite to her liking.

Nah I get where u came from. They can be really annoying ringing every 5 mins.

@tallduckandhandsome

Ah the handmaidens are out in force again

OP, you were not rude at all. He would not have said that to a man.

Fuck him and well done.

Exactly this!

You were rude. You know nothing about his life either.

But she said in the first place that it was a ‘cold call’. It’s right in the first line! Why would she say that about an agency she’d signed up with??

Why would she ask a recruitment agency that she's never signed up for to "take her off the books?"

@LizzieW1969

But she said in the first place that it was a ‘cold call’. It’s right in the first line! Why would she say that about an agency she’d signed up with??

Nope. Not a single place in her OP does she say it was a cold call.

Only when told she was rude did she add that it was the wrong number. Which I find an amazing coincidence since she is a teacher and an agency for teachers just happened to have her number.

But maybe I've read too many AIBU posts recently!

@LizzieW1969

But she said in the first place that it was a ‘cold call’. It’s right in the first line! Why would she say that about an agency she’d signed up with??

Where did she say this?

Because she’d assumed they got her number from somewhere and didn’t want any more early morning calls from them?

I think you’re just looking for an extra reason to stick the boot in personally.

tallduckandhandsome

Werehamster
He would have worked that out when she didn’t have a clue who he was or who he was wanting to speak to

Maybe I misunderstood, but I read the conversation as

Him: Hello, is this xxx

Her: Why are you calling so early

Him: I am a recruiter for supply teaching

Her: I have a permanent job, please take me off your books

Him: Honestly. you don't have to be so rude

How would he know that she wasn't xxx? I assume that xxx signed up to be a supply teacher, so he was just doing his job. The OP did come across as short and grumpy with him (understandable as she was tired), but that's not his fault

He obviously found her rude, but it's over with so why does it matter
If she was x, he would have recognised her

As it is, from his response, it shows he was a cold caller. Otherwise he'd have said 'are you not x

So OP was not rude

Why would this guy have recognised the person he was calling. There are many many people on the books of these type of agencies.
It could have been his first day.
It could have been the person he was calling her first job with them.

I hope it was made clear this was a wrong number because some poor woman is going to be waiting for work through this agency and op has had them remove her from their books

I’d hate to come across what some people do find rude if when someone calls and asks to clarify they are speaking to the right person they don’t answer and reply with why are you calling so early.

Recruiters do call that early. It is to get supply teachers/TAs etc to whichever school needs them that day. Family member does supply teaching so I am familiar with how these agencies work.

@Offmyfence

She said it was a ‘random number’ actually not a cold caller. Still no way to refer to an agency she’d signed up with, is it?

@LizzieW1969

Because she’d assumed they got her number from somewhere and didn’t want any more early morning calls from them?

I think you’re just looking for an extra reason to stick the boot in personally.

I think OP hasn't got her story straight, she confirmed he had the wrong person when he said her name the second time.

Women can be rude, all this he said it because I'm female is paranoia.

[quote LizzieW1969]@Offmyfence

She said it was a ‘random number’ actually not a cold caller. Still no way to refer to an agency she’d signed up with, is it?[/quote]
I know what she said I read the OP.

You wasn’t being rude. You were straight to the point that you wasn’t interested. No point in having a conversation with him if you’re not interested about the reason why he’s calling.

You don't know anything about his life either. He was just doing his job, wrong numbers happen.

Someone speaking to me like that when I was trying to help them would have me in tears.

Just be civil to people, it isn't hard. Sometimes I think rude people just want to make your life as shit as theirs.

Men are rude to other men, believe me.

Apart from the product, this is verbatim.

“Hey, there, Walking. Can I interest you in investing in newtech laser-powered water purifiers?”

“No, thank you.”

“At least let me tell you about this investment opportunity, Walking.”

“Honestly, I’m not interested.”

“You don’t know about it yet. I know you’re a busy man, Walking. Give me just five minutes of your time.”

“Look, I’m really not going to do it. But then again, I’m at a standstill on the A3, so if you want to, go ahead.”

….cold caller pitches for ten minutes, and finishes with…

“…so how much can I put you down for?”

“None. I’m not interested.”

“It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“Possibly. But I’m not interested.”

“Fucking timewaster! You’re an arsehole! Wasting my fucking time! Fuck you!”

@DillonPanthersTexas

I'm a freelance contractor, sadly my CV has made its way onto the books of various agencies without my permission so I get loads of calls. Sometimes the tone of these agents is quite aggressive and curt which does rile me when it is them cold calling me without even bothering to introduce themselves. The agent in the OPs situation is in the wrong industry if he feels her response is 'rude'

You see, I could understand if you are a freelancer or if you work for a company, how a recruiter would get your phone number, but surely teachers don't have their personal numbers listed online.

You don't know anything about his life either. He was just doing his job, wrong numbers happen.

She doesn't but she's not the one phoning him, he's phoning her and expecting some form of politeness above 'please take me off your books'. If you phone and interrupt someone's morning, the onus is on you to be considerate.

The OP should have spoken in a more deferential way that made it sound like she was the one in the wrong.

‘Sorry, um, I don’t think I’m registered with you, I actually have a permanent job, would it be ok if you took me off your books?’

Sorry if I’m being slow but was it a complete coincidence that it was a supply teaching agency dialled a wrong number (yours) and you happen to be a teacher? Or were you on their books years and years ago before you got a permanent job?

Someone phones you up having made a mistake ( best case)
Gets told that a mistake has been made

Calls the person rude

Erm no he was rude . The polite response was " oh sorry won't bother you again "

She doesn't have to spend time and energy correcting his /his organisations mistake

Short and to the point is polite

@bordermidgebite

Someone phones you up having made a mistake ( best case) Gets told that a mistake has been made

Calls the person rude

Erm no he was rude . The polite response was " oh sorry won't bother you again "

She doesn't have to spend time and energy correcting his /his organisations mistake

Short and to the point is polite

But she didn't say that, she said take me off your books. I do not understand why she said this, if she established it was a wrong number?

[quote LizzieW1969]@Offmyfence

She said it was a ‘random number’ actually not a cold caller. Still no way to refer to an agency she’d signed up with, is it?[/quote]
Exactly! People will tie themselves in knots trying to prove a woman is unreasonable.

But she didn't say that, she said take me off your books. I do not understand why she said this, if she established it was a wrong number?

Because she's got a brain and wanted him off the phone so she can get on with her day.

But then again, if it was an agency she’d been registered with before, would she refer to it as a ‘random number’? That doesn’t make sense either.

I don't think you were rude at all. If they insist on calling people before 8am then there may be some dazed and confused replies. I would have rejected the call and not even answered.