To be so upset about Arthur is it normal

[Onthedowns]

I just cannot stop crying. I know it's another thread but listening to those recordings of that poor boy i have been physically sick and so upset. I have cuddled my children so hard. I came from an abusive background but nothing like him.

I feel completely irrational

Coupled with covid what has happened to society 😔

Yanbu.
I cried when I read the headline and felt sick. I then cried at work and had a bit of counselling from my manager as I was so distressed.
Absolutely heartbreaking.

I haven’t heard the recording and don’t want to.

I agree , I'm heartbroken for this wee boy

And the others that came before him
Baby P and others

Will never ever understand how sick and evil those bastards could end up together and feed that behaviour in each other

An absolute tragedy
I heard the sound clips , saw the videos
And now I hear on the news he died with over 300 bruises on his tiny wee body

I'd shoot both of them - gladly

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I don't think he was happy. His mother suffered awful abuse that Arthur would have been witness to

Happier, then. He had favourite stories and books she read, he did well at school. His home life would have been bad but he had a mother who loved him. It certainly wasn’t anywhere near the final 3 months of his life.

No can't have been as bad.

Such a horrible, regrettable situation.

I wonder if the authorities will be given any consequences

I hate the woman so much. I think if I was anywhere near her I would want to physically harm her. And I’m not a fighter. I really hope she gets a hard time in prison.

Andrea the fault lies with government and agencies for not 'learning lessons' relating to policy and funding, not with ordinary people. (I did know his name by the way, and hadn't forgotten).

@luinagreine

Personally I think it is rather ghoulish of you to sit and listen to recordings of the poor boy, what made you want to do that? I haven't listened to them so can't comment on whether or not the reaction is normal for someone who has chosen to sit down and listen to child abuse.

Don't be so quick to judge, I've been actively avoiding reading/listening to any of it but they played the video with no warning on the bloody BBC news, why the hell they decided to show it who knows, so I saw it and now can't get it out of my head which I knew would happen.

Mumsnet is here for us to vent, sympathize and support when vile things like this happen.
. If one child’s life is saved by people on here asking for advice and guidance about their concerns for a vulnerable child then that’s a good thing.

I have had to blank news reports and any video recordings. Too much.

And still, I have been crying on and off all day. I work with children and have heard/witnessed some awful things but it never gets easier to have to face the fact that these things happen, and are happening right now

I was like this over Peter Connolly (baby P)

It really affected me badly for months, couldn’t eat sleep, kept crying and thinking about him. It didn’t help that my little girl was the same age as Peter when the story came out and even looked like him plus my dad had just died too

I had councelling in the end.

This case has upset me too but I’m trying not to read too much about it.

Horrible bastards. Poor little boy

I’ve not heard the recordings. I can’t. And I’m. Known for a stone heart.
But that poor poor boy. I can’t stop thinking about him either.

Sadly there will be hundreds more that slip through, barely scratching an existence. And on to a miserable adult hood.

There was a teacher on Twitter today about a child scared to go home. But it didn’t meet social services threshold.

Star Alyssa Hobson. Dylan Seabridge. Victoria Climbie. Baby P. Daniel Pelka. Asiah Kudi. Logan Mwangi. Khyra Ishaq. Alfie Lamb. Kaylee-Jayde Priest. & so many more kids who have suffered at the hands of their parents. I can't say that any of them have effected me more, but each have haunted me and effected me deeply and will continue to do so. I think it's normal to feel that way, and sharing those feelings anonymously on a online forum is not competitive grief, it's a place to say it out loud. To ask questions like how? Why? And what can be done? To not let those children's suffering be forgotten and swept under the rug, to try and find some kind of action that might make the world feel a little less bleak and people feel a little less evil and society a little bit less care- less. To just say somewhere "this is Just too awful isn't it?"

@AndreaC67

Maybe not, but I really didn't know what was the right thing to do. This case has affected people deeply, perhaps more than any of the other horrific child abuse murder cases and everyone has to process it in their own way. I think little Arthur will be on people's minds for some time to come

No he wont, he will be forgotten, like all the other terrible child murders there has been, just as all the inquiries and recommendations are forgotten until the next abuse murder takes place.
R4 said tonight that the last abuse inquiry said privatisation and staff cut backs needed to be addressed, i think that was into the death of Peter Connelly (BabyP) yet what actually happened? more cuts and out sourcing.

How many people on here knew his name, rather than Baby P and he suffered abuse beyond imagination.

But the general public haven't forgotton Peter Connolly or Victoria Climbie. Their names still resonate. The problem is that the people whose actual job it is to protect children seem to forget. The two social workers who visited, how much more money would have made them take a closer look at Arthur's back when they were searching for bruising? I don't know what sort of people are going into social work, maybe they need to be a bit less "university educated" and a bit more street-wise and a bit less gullible.

She should of been made to go into court not hide away in the cells evil piece and him well no words

One person seems to have been forgotten in this case. Arthur's birth mother. Yes, she is in prison but nobody seems to have given any thought to her. OP, you might be devastated, heartbroken, bereft etc. but how the hell do you think she is feeling?

I haven’t read all the responses to your post as I have deliberately stopped reading about the case, it was upsetting me so much.
I don’t have children and I’m not generally seen as an emotional person, but this case, and the Alfie Lamb case, both had a significant impact on me. I’m not sure why these two particularly, but they both made me cry on numerous occasions.
I am devastated and so sad, almost to the point I can’t breathe, that this little boy had so little joy in his life. These wicked people who were supposed to love and protect him made his life a literal hell and, no matter how they are punished, nothing will make up for it or bring him back.
I’m not religious, but I truly hope he is somewhere happy now.
I don’t think you’re unreasonable for getting so upset, it shows empathy and humanity.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/arthur-labinjo-hughes-devastated-mum-22356335.amp

"...His death is unquantifiable."

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/superpower-smile-mum-tragic-arthur-22347527.amp

Asking that he be remembered for his love of superheroes and his superpower "which has aways been his smile."

I'm not denying that what his mum did was wrong killing her boyfriend but she does sound like she truly loved him so much. I can't imagine being in her position.

Sorry that was in answer to @RobertaFirmino

That's what his Mum has to say. The second is a beautiful statement about her love of her son, the kind of thing any Mum would write about their son and shows she knew him, his interests, read to him, did his homework with him, knew his favourite sweets and all those every day things.

I do not believe in watering down the evidence in this case. If that upsets people - Good.

We need to bear witness to what this poor boy went through.
Any video clips are not there for entertainment, or to make people who want to complain about it being innapropriate is missing the point.

We cannot begin to understand the level of abuse and pain Arthur went through, daily, consistently and without mercy.

That poor boy was broken, I really don't know how he survived as long as he did, he must have wished his own death to get out of that hell.

The least we can do is watch a mere few seconds of his daily life which must have felt never ending. We can cry and feel empathy and anger but nothing and no ones feelings come into this, nobodies distaste of it and no ones upset.

We are remembering Arthur.

@Kippersfortea

That’s what I’m saying; at least he did know love in his life.

The reporting on how it was said by other adults that Arthur was 'fixated' on the idea his father would kill him and the threats the father had made affected me pretty badly, likely because I was once that kid - I was just lucky to survive.

Similarly, the Kermani Watson Darby case has affected me with the reporting on things that had been said -- the whole idea a toddler was a 'particularly naughty child' so in his abusers' eyes deserved to be beaten like that...

It's part of why I've cut a lot of news content out in my life. I know it doesn't really do me or anyone else much benefit.

Next week should be the outcome of the Star Hobson trial so many awful similarities 🙏🙏

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Yes and what's so sad is that she was in prison but her family was there wanting to love him, reporting to services etc. And his Dad was using them to taunt him?! That boy had a place to be where people could have continued to love him. He didn't even need to be in care, just with his wider family.

My stomach lurched when I read when his life support was turned off. Approximately 90 minutes later I was told my son had no heartbeat and I delivered him around 4 hours after Arthur died. My son was loved and wanted and born dead and yet this creature tortured his lovely boy to death. I just can't get my head around it. How and why? Why couldn't he just let the grandmother take him? Lots of men just walk away from their kids without a backward glance, why couldn't he?
I feel so sad for the stepmothers 4 children too. They have quite a burden to bear.

@royco

I don't know why anyone would listen to, or watch the video.

Just reading about it is horrifying enough.

This