To be so upset about Arthur is it normal

[Onthedowns]

I just cannot stop crying. I know it's another thread but listening to those recordings of that poor boy i have been physically sick and so upset. I have cuddled my children so hard. I came from an abusive background but nothing like him.

I feel completely irrational

Coupled with covid what has happened to society 😔

I don't think you'd be normal if you didn't find it harrowing and upsetting. I haven't listened to the recordings I don't think they should've been allowed in the public domain.

My candle is lit for Arthur tonight, he was failed by those who were meant to keep him safe. I cannot fathom how some people can be so cruel.

Of course it's normal if you're not a monster. I was sobbing just reading it- no way can I watch the footage.

If you really feel affected and you must do something, hold down your dinner, dry your eyes and be kinder to the child you think is feral and a bad influence on yours. Report every legitimate concern you have. Ask questions. Actually consider the nuisance child that irritates you as possibly the child whose situation is deteriorating and do what you wish you had done for this child.

Totally agree @PleasantBirthday. Less of the ‘feeling physically sick’ and more action.

@Innocenta

To everyone feeling triggered by this - I'm so sorry. It is brutal and awful, and how you feel is real. I believe you and so do many others. Try to let other comments roll past you, like water in a river. Not everyone can understand what it's like to react with very strong emotion to a particular case, or to experience the flood of physical, emotional, and cognitive effects that a trauma trigger causes.

I encourage you to talk to someone in real life if there's anyone you feel comfortable sharing with. But I know that can be very hard. Something we all can do is to find space and kindness for the frightened, shocked, and sometimes angry bit inside us that still feels like a child. The bit that feels - recognises - our utter powerlessness to help. That remembers what it was like in our darkest times (whenever they were - even if you weren't literally a child at the time) to need help so much, and not to get it.

You are grown up now. You can make that little girl (or boy) a warm drink, and put on a cuddly jumper. You can have some sweeties if you like them. Or a nice hot dinner if you'd prefer that. You can take a shower or a bath if it helps you relax and unwind - but if that's too much, you can crawl in bed at the end of the day and remind yourself that you've been brave. You've done well. You're looking after yourself. You're trying really hard.

I don't disagree with PPs who talk about the need for changes in society, but if you have been triggered or badly distressed by this, don't try and start now. You need to care for yourself first of all. You are grown up now. That little girl (or boy) inside will be okay - but you might need to hold her hand for a while.

Pass the 🤮 bucket.

I couldn’t listen to the recordings, and I couldn’t believe when the news played them!
I remember reading about baby P in the news paper in the way to work. I was so upset, I was almost inconsolable, I had to go home. I couldn’t understand why, I had never had such a visceral response to a story about a stranger before. My own PFB was just less than two, I realised that it was because I had become mum myself and I couldn’t understand how someone could do something so horrific.

@Libertaire I'm sorry you find it so difficult to accept that people with trauma do need to process it and allow themselves to heal.

Are you struggling with difficult feelings of a different sort? That's okay too. I didn't mean, by my post, to imply that there was only one acceptable way to respond.

@Libertaire well aren't you charming. I'm going to make an assumption and take a guess you've never had therapy or counselling. If you had, you'd understand that post.

[quote tiktokniknok]@Libertaire well aren't you charming. I'm going to make an assumption and take a guess you've never had therapy or counselling. If you had, you'd understand that post.[/quote]
I've had plenty of therapy and would have walked straight back out again if the counsellor had come out with condescending shite like that

@royco It's the concept of protecting your inner child that I am referring to. Maybe it doesn't work for you and that's fine. But considering it's what most therapy will tough upon in some way, shape, or form, must mean it's legitimate approach.

[quote tiktokniknok]@royco It's the concept of protecting your inner child that I am referring to. Maybe it doesn't work for you and that's fine. But considering it's what most therapy will tough upon in some way, shape, or form, must mean it's legitimate approach. [/quote]
No one asked for therapy though.

I actually thought the inner child post was lovely 🥰

@royco So why do think PP posted that? Purely to piss you off this evening? Maybe just to help in a way PP thought might help!!

I've been haunted by the case too. I just can't comprehend how two people could do this to a child. The poor sweet boy should have been looking forward to the run up to Christmas. He should have been cherished. Children are gift that need to be protected.

So did I @Justheretoaskaquestion91 💐

I couldn't even listen to what she said to the police- it was a vid on Sky news stream.

How does this happen? Who are these people that live in our communities just wilfully abusing children?? Not drug related neglect, but actually gunning to harm small children. I have heard so much of this recently. What is going on? Why are our services so shit at picking this up?

I am depressed about it, and cant bring myself to watch anything else about him. Poor lamb .

I’m afraid I can’t listen- just reading about it is bad enough and I don’t think my mental health could take it— I already know UK has its share of feral , evil chavs who have ruined the country- May they rot in hell

People saying they don’t believe the OP when she said she was physically sick? She said she’s from an abusive background FFS! It’s just patronising superiority. Just stay off the thread if you can’t manage not to be nasty.

And no I don’t think these should be in the public domain either- it’s plain ghoulish

I already know UK has its share of feral , evil chavs

Fuck odd

Off. Fuck off

@royco

I already know UK has its share of feral , evil chavs

Fuck odd

But it's kind of true though?

@Libertaire with you on that reaction. And I’ve had loads of therapy. I don’t think the inner child stuff is at the core of most approaches.

@ChangeChingyChange absolutely not unique to the UK though

Don't read about it or watch the recordings if it upsets you so much. I have avoided anything to do with it as I know I couldn't handle it

@Noeuf @Libertaire

The inner child stuff might do nothing for you, in which case just ignore, no need to be unpleasant. It DOES help other people though. So why does thst bother you?