@Whatinthelord
I’m so glad people have replied to
*@GertietheGherkin* post.
Totally lacks any sense of responsibility on the father. Apparently it’s mums responsibility to manage his contact, communicate on his behalf, arrange alternative care for their daughter….that’s a pathetic state of affairs.
If the fathers argument is so bad his daughter can’t safely visit then I’d have questions about his ability to provide a safe space ever (as arguments could happen anytime). If it’s something that could have been managed (like others said he could have taken her out for the day/put argument on hold) then he should have….like every other parent would have to. As a very basic he should have been the one to explain to daughter that the contact was cancelled, passing on that responsibility speaks volumes. He didn’t even just want her to inform the daughter it was off….he actually wanted her to construct a lie/alternative reason for him too. Pathetic.
I have to listen to this all day, thankfully I get paid for it!
It always goes the same way, Dad/ Mum leaves... Contact is agreed between the two parties. Life, work, distance, accommodation suitability all play a part in life, so consequently they play a part in contact arrangements.
Courts favour contact between both parties, and as long as it's regular that's in the best interest of the child.
Sadly life throws curved balls, and contact agreements are not carved in stone, even Court Orders have all leeway. If circumstances deem Contact to be not in the child's best interests there are variations made.
In this instance Dad deemed it not to be in his Daughters best interests to visit. He didn't want to give reasons, but eventually did to the OP.. He could have lied and said they'd all come down with iffy tums... But he didn't.
OP has instantly come from he's let his Daughter down and not explained. He actually trusted the OP to explain, but it didn't suit. It doesn't happen every week. The OP mentions no other disruption to contact, other than Covid, and that was not a regular situation. So at discretion and the safety levels this would have been acceptable in extenuating circumstances.
13 is usually a time when weekend overnights become patchy due to teenagers wanting to see friends at weekends for sleepovers, days out etc.
Dad has agreed to see his Daughter the following day, but she says she doesn't want to go. So Dad and his wife make plans with friends for lunch. Daughter decided she did now want to go, but things have now changed. So it's not convenient timewise now. This is life!
If Dad and his wife decide now that weekends aren't convenient for them now, as teenagers don't really like going out doing day-to-day stuff at weekends, and rather than plan life around a teenager they'll seek to readjust contact. This usually suits the child, but the RP decides it doesn't suit them so they end up in situations like this, it usually backfires as they then end up having the child every weekend. Children aren't playthings or bargaining chips to pass around. The arrangements should reflect the best interests of the child. Some Fathers would love to see their kids every week, but usually the ex will settle scores and insist on once a month. If contact has been withheld and CAFCASS become involved they'll introduce contact in stages of a few hours, for a period, a day for a period, these stages can sometimes lead to NRP's not getting overnights/weekends until 12-18 mths at times. That's not fair either is it? But it happens.
RP's who overplay their hands are often met with a situation where the NRP will just say "That's it I'm done" as it's not a natural parent child relationship. They'll then get lambasted for walking away.
The only one that suffers are the children in all of these situations. But as long as the parents are happy. That's what counts. Neither parent is right, as neither of them has acted in the best interest of the child. That's often why Court rulings very rarely meet parents wants, that's because Courts will make decisions in the best interests of the child. They don't particularly care or bother what parents want.
It's because parents can't/ won't agree that leads to Court involvement anyway. They then won't agree with the Court either. Very childish, the lot of it
So my opinions will vary considerably from many on here, as I see the reality and the impact of those realities on children everyday!