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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being precious?

128 replies

WheatlandTerrier · 02/12/2021 22:18

Speaking to a guy online. Due to meet this weekend. All OK no smut etc. However tonight on text he asked if I think I'd like him. I said you need to like yourself first and he replied I love myself every night with lots of laughing faces. Aibu to give it a miss ?

OP posts:
MimiDaisy11 · 03/12/2021 00:07

I think we’re probably overanalysing this and it’s hard to truly judge from a snippet of conversation.

Lussekatt · 03/12/2021 00:10

Agree with others. Your response was weird and he tried to make a joke of it. He is the one that should be giving it a miss really.

togfee · 03/12/2021 00:10

He wants a ONS if you don’t give it a miss

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 03/12/2021 00:12

How lovely of him to tell you he masturbates every night. Sounds absolutely hilarious Confused. I'd be giving it a miss

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/12/2021 00:14

I agree with most others. I think his joke was in bad taste. And it would put me off. But your comment was also very odd, off putting and patronising. Maybe he just didn’t know what to say to it. But you don’t need a reason not to meet him. If you don’t want to meet that’s reason enough.

Yummypumpkin · 03/12/2021 00:20

Sorry haven't read your full thread. I'd have slipped on you with that haughty response.

He made a joke to give you a second chance.

Its great you have standards and self esteem but its only a date...he was expressing vulnerability and you gave him no space.

When self esteem is fuller, there's also room for others.

1forAll74 · 03/12/2021 00:25

I think that that Ru paul person, says this at the end of that drag programme.

Flowers500 · 03/12/2021 00:34

Your response was judgemental and rude, he tried to move past it. You can’t speak like that to people and expect them to want to spend more time with you

Lussekatt · 03/12/2021 00:36

I think that that Ru paul person

Nice trans dig Hmm

backtolifebacktoreality · 03/12/2021 00:39

@Peppercorn9

Also, do people actually think a joke about wanking before you've even met your date isn't completely off-putting?!

This!

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 03/12/2021 00:40

If I were him, your response would have put me off. I hate wanna- be psychologist tit bits like this, they give me the major ick.

I don't hate his joke but I don't think you are well suited.

lynntheyresexpeople · 03/12/2021 00:46

I mean, he was probably lost on what the hell he was meant to say to your bloody weird response!!
"You have to like yourself first"?!?
I'd have run for the hills if a bloke said that psycho analytic crap to me before we even met 😬

AutomaticMoon · 03/12/2021 00:49

@Lussekatt RuPaul is not trans though. He’s a gay man who performs in drag.

Derbee · 03/12/2021 00:50

Genuinely couldn’t decide what’s weirder.

  1. him asking if you’ll like him
  2. you answering the way you did
  3. him making a wanking joke before you’ve even met

You might both just be a bit inept at texting? Might be less weird in real life?

Bellyups · 03/12/2021 00:51

You both sound a little…strange

Lussekatt · 03/12/2021 00:52

[quote AutomaticMoon]@Lussekatt RuPaul is not trans though. He’s a gay man who performs in drag.[/quote]
Transvestite, not transsexual. And yes I know some drag queens don't like the term transvestite, but many of them can go either way.

Snugglybuggly · 03/12/2021 00:52

It's just a joke!
Chillax

Marvellousmadness · 03/12/2021 00:53

Thats a hard no from me
A guy you havent even met yet
No way
Raise your standards :)

Snugglybuggly · 03/12/2021 00:55

@Lussekatt

I think that that Ru paul person

Nice trans dig Hmm

No way
AutomaticMoon · 03/12/2021 01:02

@Snugglybuggly Right?! Super precious, imho. RuPaul is a drag queen, nowhere does he call himself a transvestite. And he would not be offended by someone calling him a person, that’s absurd, I really don’t see the offensive part.

AutomaticMoon · 03/12/2021 01:04

And OP: have you thought of talking on the phone for a bit to see how you vibe together or are you not comfortable with that?

HarrisonStickle · 03/12/2021 01:04

If I'd been asked that question, I'd have given a terse "No idea, I haven't met you," response. It sounds needy, and would totally put me off.

However, if I'd not really known what to say and said something like your response, and got a wanking joke in reply, I'd be even more put off than I was at his initial question.

I'd probably still meet up, in a very public place, to see if he was as much of a twat in person, though.

Lussekatt · 03/12/2021 01:24

[quote AutomaticMoon]@Snugglybuggly Right?! Super precious, imho. RuPaul is a drag queen, nowhere does he call himself a transvestite. And he would not be offended by someone calling him a person, that’s absurd, I really don’t see the offensive part.[/quote]
"That RuPaul Person" is 100% an offensive term.

Drag queen/transvestite can be used interchangeably when it comes to performance. It is among my friends of both straight and gay men performing.
Some drag queen's won't be called transvestites, and you don't ever call an ordinary transvestite a drag queen.

But I should know better than to get into queer issues on mumsnet. People like "that RuPaul person" are frankly loathed by people on here.

MacmillanMO · 03/12/2021 01:45

Yes, I reckon you out-weirded the weird guy.

KarmaStar · 03/12/2021 01:58

Your reply was patronising he was trying to lighten up a stupid remark.
He will probably pull out first so you won't need to worry.ì