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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you and your partner both have ‘find my friend’ enabled for each other?

308 replies

hopingforabrighterfuture2021 · 02/12/2021 19:05

I know this isn’t really an AIBU. Discussion with a friend.

Do you and your partner both have ‘find my friend’ (or similar tracking app) installed so you can both see where each other are?

Interested to see views!

YABU: don’t be silly, that’s really intrusive and unnecessary.

YANBU: it’s perfectly normal, especially if you have kids.

I’m somewhere in the middle, depending on circumstances, although we do have ours turned on most of the time.

OP posts:
IgneousRock · 02/12/2021 19:07

We have it installed for emergencies, but the number of times I've ever checked can be counted on one hand.

Sparklingbrook · 02/12/2021 19:08

We don't have it, and wouldn't have a use for it.

Honkytonkyhonky · 02/12/2021 19:09

We don’t but I’d have no issues with it
I often have to walk home after 10pm (work) and I always text my partner,son and mate ‘setting off now’ and ‘am home’ once I’m back
I’d have no issues with my partner being able to see where I am as I tell him I’m going to town or wherever it is I’m going
Knowing him,he wouldn’t think to check it anyway!

BeanUiTayto · 02/12/2021 19:09

For us it would be intrusive and unnecessary. We don't need it and I would hate anyone being able to track me like that so would only consider it if one of us had a dangerous commute or something along those lines

iklboodolphrednosedpaindear · 02/12/2021 19:10

Yes, mainly use it to see when each of us are on our way home so the other can put tea on.

Alfixn · 02/12/2021 19:10

No.
I can't think why it would be necessary? Maybe there's some sort of entirely practical reason I haven't thought of.... but there's surely a huge potential for abuse by controlling partners.

RagzReturnsRebooted · 02/12/2021 19:10

Do you need an app for this? We tried Life360 with the DCs but it obviously insists on having location on and I always have mine off as it drains the battery. It kept sending me annoying notifications so I deleted it.
DH didn't fancy getting the app, he doesn't really go anywhere anyway so I don't need to track him! I don't really go anywhere interesting, but I don't like the idea of someone being able to track me, though I did like the safety aspects - apparently it alerts people if you crash!

SW1amp · 02/12/2021 19:10

Yes, we have Life 360 installed

I have it set up to bleep at me when DH leaves the office so I have an idea of what time he will be home

Other than that, I use it instead of endless ‘where abouts are you?’ phone calls when we divide and conquer in the shops/park/playground

brushandmop · 02/12/2021 19:10

YABU: don’t be silly, that’s really intrusive and unnecessary.

I would hate my partner to know where I am all the time. We've never even talked about it or considered it.

Etinoxaurus · 02/12/2021 19:10

Yes. DH works away, dc not at home either. I also have my bil, mil there. It’s great for checking before disturbing them, being disturbed. I also check on messenger for ‘last active’ before texting early or late

NeverForgetYourDreams · 02/12/2021 19:10

Yes we do and I use it to see if he's still at work so I know not to put the dinner on. DS has it too just in case something happens and then know where he last was (phone never leaves his side!).

Utter trust in each other. Nothing to hide. I don't care if he sees I'm in a shop or at work. Never bothers me.

LeroyJenkinssss · 02/12/2021 19:11

We have a shared Apple ID so it’s just on find my iPhone. Husband uses it when I’m on my way home (I have a long commute) so can adjust our dinner times / kids bedtimes accordingly. I use it if he’s out shopping / running errands so can plan accordingly.

ShirleyPhallus · 02/12/2021 19:11

No, that way madness lies. What’s it actually for? The very minute possibility that one of you gets snatched by a hooded stranger and then you can track them with FMF?
Or the more realistic possibility that you don’t 100% trust your partner and just want to check up on them during the day.

I’m sure there will be hundreds of posts saying “oh I absolutely trust my partner, I like to have it on just in case….” but I really can’t see the point. I’d find it quite intrusive to have it on myself too.

Modern technology is wonderful but just because you can doesn’t mean you should

girafferafferaffe · 02/12/2021 19:11

We don't have it. If I need to locate him I'll call or text and he'll tell me where he is! I do have it enabled for my mum just in case of emergencies but I'm not entirely sure she knows how to use it!

MrzClaus · 02/12/2021 19:11

We both have it - rarely use it! My partner travels a lot for work, our reasoning was it's useful it there's ever an emergency situation! We love ke to think of it as a fail safe option 😊

Tilly28 · 02/12/2021 19:12

We both have it. I use it to judge when dinner needs to be ready. Or to see if it's worth staying up to wait from dh to be back from work etc if he's managed to leave early. I know my dh has it for me but he says he never thinks to use it. But I'm also better at sending quick messages to say where I am/when I'm on my way etc!

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 02/12/2021 19:12

Yep, I have form for losing my phone and/or myself.

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 02/12/2021 19:12

We’re all (DH, DD and me) on find my iPhone as we’re in the same “household” on Apple. I do sometimes check to see whether he’s on his way back from somewhere if I haven’t heard from him so I can make arrangements for the kids/dinner etc. And when he’s “taken the dog for a walk” but picked up a pint on the way!

LemonViolet · 02/12/2021 19:12

We do, it can be super useful. Sometimes I set it to send me a ping when he’s at the tube station so I know he’s 20 mins away for dinner prep purposes. He’ll set it to ping him when I leave work similarly (we can both work erratic hours).

Anyone else I’d think it was intrusive. But just the two of us, mutual consent, it’s fine.

crj123 · 02/12/2021 19:12

For the kids, yes (they're not fans but tough); for each other god no

Newmumatlast · 02/12/2021 19:13

We do for me. Not sure if for him I've not checked. I travel around the country on my own and stay away. I am happy for him to see I'm safe. He doesnt check it but he could if needed.

Seeline · 02/12/2021 19:14

My DH has a 15 year old phone, which he rarely switches on. It would probably explode if he tried to install anything like that on it 🤣

fitflopqueen · 02/12/2021 19:14

Yes, no issues, I do quite a lot of lone walking so feel safer knowing that i could be tracked if an emergency, DD also shares her location, she travels a lot so reassuring to know roughly where she is.

cloudtree · 02/12/2021 19:14

Yes, whole family is linked on find my iPhone

TulipsGarden · 02/12/2021 19:14

No, I find it really creepy. I can see how it's useful but I would rather just message. I like to be independent when I'm on my own time and would hate someone to know where I am all the time.

I would consider switching it on for a specific reason, but never all the time.