Do you and your partner both have ‘find my friend’ enabled for each other?

[hopingforabrighterfuture2021]

I know this isn’t really an AIBU. Discussion with a friend.

Do you and your partner both have ‘find my friend’ (or similar tracking app) installed so you can both see where each other are?

Interested to see views!

YABU: don’t be silly, that’s really intrusive and unnecessary.

YANBU: it’s perfectly normal, especially if you have kids.

I’m somewhere in the middle, depending on circumstances, although we do have ours turned on most of the time.

No we haven't.
I've never thought about it before but thinking about it now it would be handy for DH to have my location at times especially when I've been on places where nobody knows where I am.

DH and I have never had it. Does it need GPS switched on? I keep mine turned off as I don't like being tracked by any of my phone apps, plus it drains battery, I only turn it on briefly when I need to find my way on Maps. DH used to text me when he was leaving the office (so I'd know when to have dinner ready) although he's now wfh. Probably would help very occasionally when we've lost track of each other in a park/shopping centre, but we've managed to get by with phone calls so far.

No, I do with my eldest DD, I think she looks where I am more than the other way around.It's reassuring if she's later than expected getting in from school to be able to check where she is. Doing it was an adult partner is a different matter, I've got nothing to hide but still wouldn't want DP tracking me.

Or equally for someone to remember to check the 'find my' feature? Or is it only important that the women one waiting at home to make dinner remember?

I've never used it to make sure tea is ready on time!

I honestly have never thought to set this up for us. If I need to know where he is I just text or call and vice versa. I can't think of any reason we would need this.

We do, I really don't mind if he sees me on the school run/tescos/friends house, nothing to hide and might come in handy for emergencies!

Also useful as DH does a lot of driving for work and I can plan if he looks like he'll be back in time for dinner with kids (depending on amount of traffic usually). He knows and doesn't have any issues with this as it helps organise family dinner and bed time.

I don’t think I’d want this if I was in a relationship

I have it for Dd. I need to know where she is because she’s 13!

@sammylady37

The dinner thing... it's not about having dinner piping hot and on the table for just as he walks in the door, it's that I'm having to time dinner around 3 kids and their activities and hunger levels, and it's useful to know if I need to plate his up at the same time or if he's likely to be eating reheated food later

If you’re already plating up 4 meals, surely it’s not that much time/effort to plate up a 5th? I don’t get why checking someone’s location round be such a handy feature for this reason.

Because he can't 'plate up' for himself at whatever time he walks in 😂

So husband needs his wife to put dinner on a plate for him or he'd never eat, wife needs to track husband or she'd never plate up.

Yes, we have it. It's really useful, eg to check how we're getting on on journeys home or to check safety (cycling on our own for example). We really like it

Yes, DH and I have Find my Friends plus our DC are on too. They're both happy with it and don't find it intrusive at at all. We use it to track each other to organise mealtimes/lifts etc.

Nope

My husband sometimes used it if he was home first to check where I was as he'd maybe do something before making dinner if I'd be a while. I hope that helps those of you worried about it being for women only who are chained to their homes as slaves to their husband.

absolutely not. I am a grown up and I neither want nor expect someone to track me. I do however, have my younger 2 on life 360 because, well they're children and I do need to know where they are. Likewise I don't have my 19 year old because he's a big boy and doesn't need his mummy tracking him

he's a big boy and doesn't need his mummy tracking him

Amen.

No way. Not into tracking or being tracked

Wow, again, loads more responses than I was expecting on this thread.

The partner tracking is obviously a personal choice and has brought up some very valid pros and cons both ways.

Genuine question though, for those of you with kids who are out alone/travelling to school etc (and I’m talking about 11/12/13 year olds not uni students!) and don’t track them, why don’t you? For me it is definitely a safety measure with my daughter, I trust her but I do want to be able to see where she is if she’s late home and not answering her phone for example.

The downside is though, that if her battery runs out I can only see her last known location and the time which is actually more stressful!

Yes me and DH have it, he doesn’t really use it, but it’s great for me as I use it to see when he has left work and know when to get the dinner on.
It’s also been handy when we go out shopping and split up to find each other again.

If he texts to say he's in the supermarket or he's 15 min from home that's good enough for me

OW insisted on this with ex-h as she knows she can't trust him. She was tracking his every move including a camera in the car and any conversations we had being recorded . It was utterly ridiculous and he absolutely would not have ever agreed to it if I'd asked him to do that. Mind you, it's not something that would have occurred to me. I'm certainly wouldn't agree to be tracked as an adult with autonomy over my own life.

I would, however, use it for my child once he is old enough for a phone and some independence purely for safely purposes.

Yes, we do. DH used to travel a lot and sometimes I need to time the dinner when DH is out with the dog so instead of texting or calling I just quickly check the map. He does the same and I can't see why this should be a problem.
We lead a very boring life so the fact that we can check each other's location is more convenience rather than intrusion or distrust.

People are assuming that people who have these apps are looking at them constantly and are always 'tracking' their partners.
Those people that I know who use these apps only use them occasionally when needed.

Prime example of what we use it for: I'm at PIL's at the moment as they picked up DS from school. DH has gone to get DD from nursery. He texted to ask if they were coming here too or we were meeting back home but I didn't see it for 15 mins. So I checked Life360 to see if had already got back home or was on the way or still getting to nursery. Meant I could send a quick text reply rather than calling as he was on way so will see it when he gets there.

Was it hugely easier than calling? No. Was it mildly easier and quicker and therefore a small thing that makes life a tad easier? Yes! Was it creepy and controlling? Absolutely not.

I’m the only one in my family who has an iPhone. DH has a basic Nokia and the kids (adults) are very anti Apple devices. They rarely even look at their phones so a nightmare to get hold of anyway.

We've got Life 360. I can see when he's left work to get the supper on. He travels 60 miles home and I'm home an hour before him.
It's great in this weather too, I can check to make sure he's got to work ok without having to text him.

Yes. DH travels a lot and sometimes gets taxis home late. I can see where he is rather than having to ask him what sort of time he will be home etc. I don't have mine switched on but I don't really go anywhere! I don't find it controlling. That would only be the case if I insisted he had it on and he didn't want it on! He prefers me knowing roughly what time he will be home without calling or texting him.