AIBU to be so upset my child has to wear rainbow laces to play rugby?

[Rainbowlaceshelp]

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

I feel (as a member of the LGB 'group') that by not continuing to utilise the rainbow symbol we are almost giving in to stonewall taking it over. So I continue to embrace the rainbow, and reject stonewall and their agenda.

I also disagree that 12 is too young. I absolutely knew at 12 that I wasn't straight.

@Mybalconyiscracking

There’s honestly nothing wrong with teaching children to be inclusive.

inclusive of what? Of teaching gay and lesbian children they may actually just be 'born in the wrong body'? Inclusive of males who feel they are female being included in women's prisons?

There’s honestly nothing wrong with teaching children to be inclusive.
You think that it's 'inclusive' for male-bodied people to play against women in a contact sport like rugby?

There's a lot of ignorance on this thread regarding Stonewall's recent history, their drive to give knowingly misleading 'legal' advice, and their campaign to obliterate the words woman and mother from organisations' documents and policies.

I also suspect most people posting don't realise that the Equality and Human Rights Commission - along with many other high profile organisations including the BBC - have recently ditched Stonewall.

@PermanentTemporary

There isn't a single out gay male rugby player in the UK that I know of. Rainbow Laces is a good campaign in itself. The daft sideshow about sex not being relevant in sport will die away in time and males who've transitioned will be accepted in the male teams, as they should be. Talk to your son about that.

Keegan Hirst (although he very recently retired), great rugby player.

The problem is Stonewall is a political organisation.

You can be pro LBGT without wanting anything to do with Stonewall.

Your child should not be forced to wear them, it feels like brainwashing. Being forced to do something can cause a backlash.

@spongedog

Can he wear pink laces instead?

The OP has said her child is her daughter.

Total virtue signalling to Stonewall. Absolutely outrageous, I agree with you OP. And if you refuse to join in, for whatever reason, you will be singled out as a bigot.
I would really not want my 12 year old to take part in this either.
But I don't have any great ideas for getting around it, sorry.

I don't wear the rainbow laces either. They're thin and flat and go crispy and tangly in the mud.

That said, my team has a large proportion of lesbian members and most of them aren't wearing them either.

Stonewall used to be the UK’s biggest LGB rights organisation. I used to volunteer for them & donated every month. I even bloody slept in a Stonewall T-shirt.

After they’d achieved gay marriage, Stonewall needed a new funding source & moved to supporting trans rights. They erased the phrase ‘same-sex relationships’ from their website, replacing it with ‘same-gender relationships’ and their CEO recently described homosexuality as ‘sexual racism’.

So we - including some of the original founders of Stonewall - set up the LGB Alliance instead, and that REALLY pissed them off.

Pride marches used to be about LGB rights too, but they have been shown to be neither safe nor welcoming nowadays for anyone who believes that sex matters more than gender. I wouldn’t go within three miles of a Pride March in an LGB Alliance or Lesbian: Female Homosexual T-shirt.

And yes, if my workplace decided to fly a rainbow flag, I’d tense up every time I had to walk past it. Because nowadays, to me & many other lesbians, it’s a threat.

@Mybalconyiscracking

There’s honestly nothing wrong with teaching children to be inclusive.

There's honesty nothing wrong with teaching forcing children to be inclusive conform.

Fixed it for you.

I wouldn't be happy about that either.

@Rainbowlaceshelp

Well if just laces then there's no issues with not wearing them then.

They're 12, they're too young to have an opinion on this which isn't coloured by my resistance to allowing them to be used as a political pawn by Stonewall.

I've been out with gay friends when 12 years olds scream 'poofter' and 'batty boy' at them. If you think they don't have an opinion you're almost certainly wrong.

Also, you sound absolutely batshit.

YANBU

Would people be happy for their children to wear badges claiming allegiance to a particular political party or symbols of specific religions or the shirt of one particular football team?

For me, the rainbow flag has been co-opted by the TQ+ people and now doesn't represent lesbians, gays or bisexual; it represents compelled speech, erasure of women and bullying of anyone that doesn't agree with Stonewall et al's view of gender ideology.

Yanbu. I would refuse purely because of associations with Stonewall.

@cultkid

YaBU

Put them on 12 is old enough don't be such a knob about this

You will make him insecure about sexuality if you genuinely think a 12 year old going through puberty shouldn't have all sexual orientations normalised

They aren't making him take a hormone blocker ffs

I thought it was going to be a much bigger deal then what you've written

Can't believe this offends you

Hope he isn't gay for your sake because if he is he probably already knows

HTH

And if they were gay, according to Stoneball they’re most likely actually trans.

YANBU

You are over thinking it. I’m not a fan of stonewall but showing an acceptance of lgbt people especially in a typically matcho sport like rugby is great.

It's your daughter playing? Feels particularly inappropriate given Stonewall's campaigning to end single sex sports and the associated risks to girls in contact sports like rugby in particular.

Perhaps a quiet word with organisers that you don't think forcing political statements on kids is appropriate, and about what Stonewall are now standing for. Your daughter can just say mum/dad wouldn't let me if she doesn't want to explain her own view.

If you are not Gay you do not have to wear rainbow laces.
Do not be bullied into this political identity bulshit.

And no I am not ant lgbtq.
I am anti this bulshit forced agenda

Are stonewall becoming homophobic? This is not a 'shady comment' just a genuine questions as I've never heard this before?

Stonewall are campaigning to remove “sex” as a protects characteristic from the Equality Act, which makes “same sex” orientation into “same gender” orientation. This includes pressuring lesbian women into being open to sleeping with people with penises, or risk being bullied and branded “phobic”.

Stonewall is a political organisation, and one that I despise and find homophobic in its pursuit of an extreme trans agenda and the expense of the rights of young lesbians and gay men, and of course women’s rights. It does political lobbying. It is political.

Imagine the fuss if children came home carrying a tshirt with a photo of Boris Johnson’s face on it and saying they’ve been told they have to wear it and will be supervised pitting it on otherwise they won’t be allowed to play sport. But Stonewall has managed to achieve the near-impossible feat of being even worse than Boris Johnson.

OP if it was me I would complain to the head about children being forced to support an extreme political organisation at school, and I would give the child an unauthorised absence and be clear about why. And if they say “it isn’t Stonewall it’s about inclusivity” (which is untrue) then say where is the inclusivity of my opinion that schoolchildren should not be used as political pawns?

Whilst I have long been a supporter of LGB rights, I also believe in freedom of speech and choice. If the laces were offered, with a choice of wearing them or not.
I don’t think it’s right to insist that they are worn.
There are many reasons why someone doesn’t want to wear them and they shouldn’t be viewed as prejudiced for not complying.
Puts the OP in a difficult position and will probably go along with the demand to keep the peace.

There are huge issues with homophobia in sport, particularly football, things aren’t great in rugby, but they are sadly even worse in football.

I was dropped from my team when I was outed to our coach, I know someone else who had that experience. I now play for an inclusive team, due to homophobia some teams can’t cope losing to us because they think we’re weak etc, it isn’t uncommon to receive homophobic abuse from the crowd. We’ve played teams who have players who refuse to play us, or they have asked to inspect us to see if we’re ‘safe’ to touch.

Change starts with younger people, look at racism, while it still remains a problem, educating younger generations is what reduced racism, even in homes with racist parents.