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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so upset my child has to wear rainbow laces to play rugby?

379 replies

Rainbowlaceshelp · 02/12/2021 16:39

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

OP posts:
RuggerHug · 02/12/2021 17:58

@foxgoosefinch

it was a visual symbol so everyone knew they were welcome and accepted

Everyone apart from women and lesbians, you mean.

It’s now a visual symbol for the support of men’s rights to do what they want even at the expense of women, especially gay women.

foxgoosefinch Well it was womens teams with plenty of lesbians if that's the point you're missing Hmm
ScholesPanda · 02/12/2021 17:59

I don't have a problem with the rainbow laces, and I don't think most people will see anything in it other than a rugby team who welcome gay or lesbian kids to play as well.
However, if you're daughter doesn't want to wear them or take part in that game for whatever reason she shouldn't be forced to do so.
You can't control other people's reactions to that though, but I would see that as an opportunity to teach DD to have the courage of her convictions even when her views aren't popular.

ElEmEnOhPee · 02/12/2021 17:59

It’s not acceptable for youth organisations to force children to make political statements on their behalf, about any issue, no matter how worthy it might be.

This would be my issue. Unacceptable in my opinion and I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Why does everything need to be politicised? So should they wear something black to support BLM, rainbow laces, a poppy and multiple ribbons to support every cause? Ridiculous.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 02/12/2021 18:01

@Rainbowlaceshelp

Well if just laces then there's no issues with not wearing them then.

They're 12, they're too young to have an opinion on this which isn't coloured by my resistance to allowing them to be used as a political pawn by Stonewall.

I am almost 70 and do not understand the sudden explosion of sex/gender/inclusion/identification terminology. But I do AGREE with you. Let kids be kids. They don't need rainbow laces or black armbands or MAGA hats. There will be time for these when they understand what these stand for.
pumkinbump · 02/12/2021 18:01

Did they ask them to wear purple, green and white laces to celebrate international women’s day? Didn’t think so. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. It’s not the shoelaces, it’s what it represents. You can support gays and lesbians without wearing shoelaces to prove it.

Ifyoudontlikeitdosomethingelse · 02/12/2021 18:02

@Chr1stmasCarole

Well it's a rugby match where they're celebrating inclusivity. As you don't agree with that message keep your ds home from the match that day and let them know that you as a family don't believe in being inclusive and won't be forced into it..... I think that's fair enough.
@Chr1stmasCarole

Love the amount of people presuming it's a boy playing rugby!! We're all still tuned in to think certain things = boys and certain things = girls!

JustLyra · 02/12/2021 18:03

I would not be happy with any group one of my daughters were involved in insisting she be part of something organised by an organisation that is actually dangerous to her.

The problem with things like this is that they are not “just” shoelaces. It’s part of the sleepwalking into groups like Stonewall having access to schools and groups and assisting in their agenda to have women’s spaces, and their sports, completely erased.

Artichokeleaves · 02/12/2021 18:04

@ScholesPanda

I don't have a problem with the rainbow laces, and I don't think most people will see anything in it other than a rugby team who welcome gay or lesbian kids to play as well. However, if you're daughter doesn't want to wear them or take part in that game for whatever reason she shouldn't be forced to do so. You can't control other people's reactions to that though, but I would see that as an opportunity to teach DD to have the courage of her convictions even when her views aren't popular.
Sadly its a political signal that any lesbian kids welcomed to play will be the kind who are 'inclusive' with their bodies towards male people who identify as lesbians. These politics make appalling threats of sexual violence and worse to females who want to be and name themselves as homosexual.

Who wants girls exposed to this??? Particularly celebrated as if it's something lovely and progressive instead of bloody horrible? False flag. And behind this will be adults who are either too naive to realise, or worse, know exactly what they're training the kids into believing young.

CraftyGin · 02/12/2021 18:05

Let your child decide.

pictish · 02/12/2021 18:05

“I don’t see why a rainbow should be commandeered by any group.”

This is how I feel.

HelplesslyHoping · 02/12/2021 18:08

Open your hands and get a grip x

User5252727 · 02/12/2021 18:08

@Rainbowlaceshelp

Well if just laces then there's no issues with not wearing them then.

They're 12, they're too young to have an opinion on this which isn't coloured by my resistance to allowing them to be used as a political pawn by Stonewall.

12yos aren't too young to have an opinion on human rights issues.

They also aren't too young to have an opinion on being gay. Some 12 year olds are gay.

Valeriekat · 02/12/2021 18:08

YANBU
Showing inclusion is good.
Not having a choice is bad.

RuggerHug · 02/12/2021 18:09

@pumkinbump

Did they ask them to wear purple, green and white laces to celebrate international women’s day? Didn’t think so. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. It’s not the shoelaces, it’s what it represents. You can support gays and lesbians without wearing shoelaces to prove it.
How many sports players 'have' to wear a poppy because they'll be torn apart if they don't. Let the player decide for themselves, whatever it means to them. Whatever age they are.
DroopyClematis · 02/12/2021 18:10

Unnecessary virtue signalling being foisted on minors.

Gay/trans in the family btw.

pictish · 02/12/2021 18:10

Or…just don’t use them and say you forgot. Problem solved.

JohnDee007 · 02/12/2021 18:11

Well the rugby club should make it clear that the wearing of the laces is optional and there is no pressure either way and there will be consequences for anyone who judges people making a decision either way.

It is then down to the parent to discuss the issue of homosexuality in sport and also the importance of freedom of choice.

If children are bullied into wearing them for fear of consequences it’s more likely to breed hate in the long run and certainly not inclusive. Children should be learning to understand that there are a variety of opinions out there and to make their own decisions.

julieca · 02/12/2021 18:12

Leave it to your child to decide.
But be aware since you have such strong views, if they don't care, they may agree with you for an easy life.
At 12 she is old enough to decide by herself. It really isn't anything to do with you, unless she seeks out your support.

SmellyOldOwls · 02/12/2021 18:12

It shouldn't be up to schools and sports clubs to try to force their beliefs on 'educate' children about things like this. We are all entitled to have our own values and opinions.

CorrBlimeyGG · 02/12/2021 18:13

My daughter shares the same opinion on Stonewall as I do. They don't want to wear them

Too young to be used as a political pawn ... unless it suits your agenda.

Cheerychirpy · 02/12/2021 18:14

There is an excellent Gareth Thomas documentary about what it’s like to be a gay rugby player, and how important initiatives like this are at making him and other gay sports people feel valued. I’d recommend it to everyone. I’m not a stonewall fan - they’ve gone too far down the trans rabbit hole for me - but I’d wear rainbow laces with pride!

julieca · 02/12/2021 18:14

Schools educate children about opinions all the time. There were some parents complaining about schools being political when they started teaching anti racism.

whereisthekey · 02/12/2021 18:15

my rugby club did this years ago and it made everyone who was lgb (there was no T on the team) feel supported and wanted and was only a positive thing. we had several comments years later about it being one of the many positives that made people feel comfortable at the club.

MrsBison · 02/12/2021 18:15

I had a similar incident at work, where they were asking £1 donations for rainbow lanyards and for you to wear it.

I have no issues with LGBT people, but I dont want to be strong armed into wearing a rainbow lanyard, let alone pay for the privilege as well. Its not something I feel like championing / not relevant to me, so why should I have to wear it...?

julieca · 02/12/2021 18:15

@CorrBlimeyGG

My daughter shares the same opinion on Stonewall as I do. They don't want to wear them

Too young to be used as a political pawn ... unless it suits your agenda.

This is what I think. OPs has very STRONG emotions around her opinion. She is using her DD to express this rather than recognising her DD is old enough to have her own views, and those views might be - I don't care.