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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so upset my child has to wear rainbow laces to play rugby?

379 replies

Rainbowlaceshelp · 02/12/2021 16:39

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

OP posts:
YouSetTheTone · 04/12/2021 19:36

YANBU. Stonewall no longer support same sex attraction so I’m not sure how it would help gay or lesbian sports players if they’re required to demonstrate affinity with Stonewall.

spongedog · 04/12/2021 20:31

@EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn

Your might want to do a bit of reading around Stonewall and the direction it's taken in recent times. Maybe then you will realise this is about much more than shoelaces.

Reading the full thread would be a good start.

Sadly this thread isnt great for education on this issue. Too much hostility and name calling.
NoraEphronsNeck · 04/12/2021 20:54

@Fireatseaparks

The fact you object so strongly to rainbow laces suggests might be less tolerant than you say you are, despite how you dress it up as 'forced inclusion'.
Oh it's definitely 'forced inclusion' nothing to do with being intolerant at all.
monsterflake · 04/12/2021 20:59

Not read all the comments yet but I have a pre Teen son too who is starting to get really conscious of how others see him, what he wears etc.

If its due to embarrassment, I don't believe he should be forced. There are other ways to teach children to be kind. These sort of displays of support should be about showing personal feelings towards a cause, not children being pressured into it.

Lovelyricepudding · 04/12/2021 21:09

I don't know NoraEphronsNeck I am pretty intolerant of men putting women and girls lives at risk and taking the place of women in women's rugby teams. I am intolerant of men who put their feelings above the dignity, privacy and safety of women by insisting on changing in women's changing rooms and cry 'hate' if a woman refuses to get undressed in from of them.

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 05/12/2021 09:32

@Rainbowlaceshelp

Well if just laces then there's no issues with not wearing them then.

They're 12, they're too young to have an opinion on this which isn't coloured by my resistance to allowing them to be used as a political pawn by Stonewall.

I disagree that 12 is too young to have an opinion. DS1 is 11 and a staunch supporter of LBTQ+ rights. He came out as bisexual about 18 months ago and frequently lectures me on this (having grown up with a gay brother and lesbian mum it's not something I'm ignorant about!).
Warmduscher · 05/12/2021 12:17

Sadly this thread isnt great for education on this issue. Too much hostility and name calling.

Do please make sure you report any posts that break talk guidelines, rather than throwing out insults because people disagree with your opinion.

WorriedMumsDontSleep · 05/12/2021 12:20

frequently lectures me on this
Well that sounds fun. Hmm

EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 05/12/2021 12:24

I disagree that 12 is too young to have an opinion. DS1 is 11 and a staunch supporter of LBTQ+ rights. He came out as bisexual about 18 months ago and frequently lectures me on this (having grown up with a gay brother and lesbian mum it's not something I'm ignorant about!).

So would you be ok with your mum being called a ‘sexual racist’ for not being attracted to the opposite sex?

MintJulia · 05/12/2021 16:27

My 13yo has no opinion on this and would just ignore it. I can't say I blame him. He is a kind boy, not given to bullying or being unkind in any way but has no interest n who his class mates fancy or why. He's still at the embarrassed eye-rolling stage.

I don't see how it's necessary to know. I don't need to know who my colleagues fancy. Why does he need to know more?Why is it even relevant?

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 05/12/2021 17:45

@EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn I've called my mum a lot worse!!! I've not heard the term 'sexual racist' before and to be honest the waters are muddied re my mum as she was married to my dad for nearly 20 years and conceived me and my brother naturally so I'm not sure where that puts her on the gay/straight spectrum.

And to the other poster who quoted me...to be honest I do laugh when he's trying to lecture me because I find it funny how kids think their parents no nothing about contemporary culture

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 05/12/2021 18:50

@logsonlogsoff

Homophobia and racism are huge issues in sport. Rainbow laces day helps awareness of one of these issues. Just let the kid wear the laces. They look cool. DD and DS left theirs on their boots permanently.
I wish that were the case, but Stonewall is a homophobic organisation even if they try and spin it otherwise. This is a symbol of the group which is trying to ensure that there is no longer female sports. I think you're right to be very wary OP. If you're really pro equality in sport, this symbol absolutely does not promote that.
spongedog · 05/12/2021 18:59

@Warmduscher

Sadly this thread isnt great for education on this issue. Too much hostility and name calling.

Do please make sure you report any posts that break talk guidelines, rather than throwing out insults because people disagree with your opinion.

I hadnt given an opinion in that post nor insulted anyone. I think you've tagged the wrong poster. And dont worry I do report if I see the need.
EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 05/12/2021 19:57

I've called my mum a lot worse!!! I've not heard the term 'sexual racist' before and to be honest the waters are muddied re my mum as she was married to my dad for nearly 20 years and conceived me and my brother naturally so I'm not sure where that puts her on the gay/straight spectrum.

It’s a very new term - Stonewall coined it quite recently for lesbians who refuse to consider transwomen in their dating pool.

Northernparent68 · 05/12/2021 20:55

Is it her school or a club outside of school that are insisting on this

Original poster
Rainbowlaceshelp · 06/12/2021 07:46

Very closely affiliated to school - not sure where school ends and rugby club begins- it was during school hours they were given them and told to put them on and that they had to wear them yesterday

OP posts:
sunnyandshare · 06/12/2021 08:11

I haven't RTFT and haven't heard of this campaign, but I highly doubt that rugby players (I know the sport well) wearing rainbow laces is suddenly going to make it a safe and accepting space for gay people.

thepiratequeen · 06/12/2021 08:41

@Rainbowlaceshelp

Very closely affiliated to school - not sure where school ends and rugby club begins- it was during school hours they were given them and told to put them on and that they had to wear them yesterday
OP, did your daughter wear them?
Original poster
Rainbowlaceshelp · 06/12/2021 12:20

No, so many pulled out (Covid reasons I suspect) there were not enough for the game to go ahead

OP posts:
Quincythequince · 06/12/2021 21:24

@Rainbowlaceshelp

Very closely affiliated to school - not sure where school ends and rugby club begins- it was during school hours they were given them and told to put them on and that they had to wear them yesterday
Complain to governors! The school had no business promoting this for one particular club, nor attempting to politicise sport. It’s appalling. I have three kids - boys - two play rugby, the third doesn’t and is gay!

My older two adore their younger brother, despise Stonewall and wouldn’t wear these laces by way of showing their support for gay rights (which is at complete odds with stonewall). They are deeply protective of their ‘same-sec’ attracted sibling,
which is at odds with Stonewalls ideology.

Most kids don’t give a crap about anyone’s sexuality, but they care about political shit being forced on them!

The tide is turning! A trans girl attempted to play with the girls teams at our local club (nationally recognised club).
The boys invited him to join their’s because they were damned that some brute teen boy was going to be allowed to smash up the girls team!

Any guesses as to what happened?

WorriedMumsDontSleep · 06/12/2021 21:32

Was the place on the boys team declined perchance?

Quincythequince · 06/12/2021 21:43

@WorriedMumsDontSleep

Was the place on the boys team declined perchance?
👏👏👏 Got it in one. And for those in the back not listening, atill not listening, and who think rainbow laces are just harmless, go away and educate yourself! It isn’t that complicated.
thirdfiddle · 07/12/2021 10:00

Well done the boys in your club Quincy, that is what real inclusivity looks like. (As long as they didn't phrase it quite that way!! I'm sure they didn't.)

YouSetTheTone · 07/12/2021 15:12

Quincythequince - good on the boys inviting the transgirl into their team! That’s how it should be done - boys showing they’re accepting of other boys who identify as a girl. This enables the girls to play without being put at risk 👏🏻

Stonewall are so far off standing for gay rights they might as well plant their rainbow flag on the moon. My own gay brother can’t stand how homophobic and misogynist they are now (since 2015).

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 07/12/2021 15:24

@Rainbowlaceshelp

I wish I could amend my title. They are Stonewall laces, they were given them and told they must wear them and supervised while putting them on
If this part is true OP - those if you in the "no problem " brigade, can you honestly not see anything wrong with supervising kids to ensure they comply?

Very fucking sinister Angry

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