AIBU to be so upset my child has to wear rainbow laces to play rugby?

[Rainbowlaceshelp]

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

If you're 'very very upset and angry' over shoelaces I suggest you pop a valium and have a lie down.

The rainbow flag and rainbow colors are just a symbol of gay pride and acceptance.

For many gay women especially, it’s no longer that.

I would be annoyed about this, as I don’t think mixed sex contact rugby is safe. Stonewall thinks it’s totally fine and given that they have hijacked the rainbow and made life worse for lots of lesbians I don’t see why kids should be coerced into supporting them

@FOJN

It's not really the laces or the message they endorse is it? It's that not wearing them would leave him open to accusations of being hateful. It's coercive which means it's possible that even the people who do wear them are not actually inclusive.

This.

You haven’t actually explained what your issue is, or exactly why this upsets you so much.

I am gleaning it’s perhaps because you’re gay and you feel side-lined by Stonewall?

Is that the case?

Or is your issue something else? For all we know, it could be because you’re a conservative Christian and you have a problem with ‘the gays’.

I don’t know - because you haven’t told us.

The Pride rainbow is not owned by Stonewall, and I think you're being fucking ridiculous to be honest.

You say you're upset and angry you now have to 'confront the issue', but then say your child agrees with you on Stonewall, which suggests the 'issue' has already been discussed and your child has a nuanced, informed view of the topic?

Of course your child shouldn't wear them if they don't want to, but let them decide that, articulate it to their friends etc if they want to - they're 12. If they want to say "I don't like what it stands for", let them decide. If they're against it, they are going to learn a valuable lesson about standing up for what they believe in when people around them disagree (and they will). If they aren't, or would rather wear them, I think that's their choice at 12.

@Rainbowlaceshelp

My daughter shares the same opinion on Stonewall as I do. They don't want to wear them

Funny you didn't mention this at the start. The post is all about you and how you feel.

If your kid doesn't want to wear the shoelaces that's one thing but it should be her decision and not because she's feeling pressure from her mother.

I have no time for Stonewall due to their position on single-sex spaces, but you’re going about this all wrong. You’re actually driving people towards them.

"I think giving the laces out and expecting everyone to wear them is wrong. Just as it would be wrong to expect everyone to wear a poppy or a badge supporting any other cause. There's nothing wrong with an individual deciding to buy and wear these things, and everything wrong with coercion. Regardless of what the cause is."

This.

They're 12, they're too young to have an opinion on this

12 year olds are not too young to have an opinion on it. My 12 year old has her opinions on it.

Your 12 year old might not care either way, that doesn’t mean all 12 year olds aren’t capable.

I've no idea what Stonewall is
This is the problem. You have no idea what you are being asked to support.
Clue: it's not what you think it is.

My ds was provided with rainbow laces at 12 and refused to wear them in the simple basis that he preferred his black ones.
He was a young 12, had no interest in inclusivity, one way or the other and just threw them in the bin.

Why don't you ask your ds what he wants?

The fact that this is endorsed/encouraged by Stonewall would be enough for me to say no to this. It’s nothing more than virtue signalling and I would strongly object to my child being forced to wear something to show solidarity for a vague something that at 12 they don’t fully understand.

What has the rugby club said to explain why they are being asked to wear it and the issues surrounding the misuse of this symbol?

My dd went pride from 12 to support her friends, they certainly have a view at that age. You sound intolerant

I don't blame you OP - it's not that you are/are not supportive of LGBT issues - it's that your DC has been issued with the damn things and feels coerced to use them or be seen as hateful. Urgh! I hate this virtue signalling crap.

Could the laces be mislaid, by any chance or could the dog eat them, perchance?

It's pointless in my opinion. Wearing rainbow laces doesn't mean you support gay rights. It means your wearing rainbow laces. That's all. Anyone can do that. Including those who hate gay people.

Your 12 year old is very much old enough to know what homophobia is.

@Rainbowlaceshelp

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

Are stonewall becoming homophobic? This is not a 'shady comment' just a genuine questions as I've never heard this before? Think you should be given the choice about the laces, you shouldn't be forced into taking a political view, even if it's one you agree with, it's up to you if you choose to disclose your position idle not IMO. Thanks 😊

If it makes you feel better, tras have added a sort of forward pointing arrowhead in teal and other colours, bashing its way through the rainbow flag, so if the laces are pure rainbow, you could have lined up, 'yes, we support gay rights in sport' and leave it at that.

I would give your 12yr old the autonomy to make their own choices on such issues. My 12yr old certainly has enough awareness from school to make a decision on this.

I'd be interested to know how has paid for these laces however...

I wish I could amend my title. They are Stonewall laces, they were given them and told they must wear them and supervised while putting them on

I think it should be your child's decision - 12 is old enough to make a choice about what to wear.

Personally, if someone gave me rainbow laces and said they were optional, I'd wear them gladly. If someone told me I had to wear them I probably wouldn't on principle.

There’s honestly nothing wrong with teaching children to be inclusive.

Can he wear pink laces instead?

That's a political statement they're being coerced into making.

I share your annoyance, OP. These small acts of compliance are difficult to complain about without looking petty, but they add up to a form of social pressure that I think is ultimately not actually going to be helping the cause they ostensibly support.