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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so upset my child has to wear rainbow laces to play rugby?

379 replies

Rainbowlaceshelp · 02/12/2021 16:39

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

OP posts:
Warmduscher · 03/12/2021 08:39

@Naunet

Why does being “inclusive” always mean (LGB)T? What are they doing to show they’re inclusive of race or disability? Fuck all I guess?
Yep, I said the same upthread.

And the new organisation now advising the BBC on “inclusion” after they dropped Stonewall doesn’t even mention disability on their website.

It’s disgusting.

Cocomarine · 03/12/2021 08:39

Why is 12 too young to have an opinion that is coloured by yours?
You refer to your daughter as “they” which suggests some level of gender discussion in your household.
Old enough for that to be relevant, old enough to have an opinion.

Quincythequince · 03/12/2021 08:41

What’s the name of the new organisation advising BBC? Knew they’d dropped Stonewall, but gosh, didn’t take long to move on. Am intrigued!

flytterbugsdog · 03/12/2021 08:43

@TomPinch

Has there ever been a time in peace time when British culture has been this performative?
Actually... This is a lot like the wearing of Poppies. Don't get me wrong, I do wear a poppy in November, I agree with honouring the war dead. But it has never sat right with me that it is quite heavily enforced (especially on politicians/the media). It takes all the meaning away since you can't tell if someone is wearing it because its what they believe or because they feel they have to. But personally I would do the laces just because of the pick your battles principle. (And because actually the rainbow flag has in the past stood for tolerance, genuine inclusivity etc. I wouldn't want to give up the Union Jack to the likes of the BNP either).
Quincythequince · 03/12/2021 08:43

@Cocomarine

Why is 12 too young to have an opinion that is coloured by yours? You refer to your daughter as “they” which suggests some level of gender discussion in your household. Old enough for that to be relevant, old enough to have an opinion.
It suggests no such thing! But keep seeing meaning, where there might not be any, just to promulgate your views!
Bouledeneige · 03/12/2021 08:43

Yes you are being unreasonable. Very. Sport still has a long way to go till it's a safe space for lesbians snd gays.

Warmduscher · 03/12/2021 08:45

@Quincythequince

What’s the name of the new organisation advising BBC? Knew they’d dropped Stonewall, but gosh, didn’t take long to move on. Am intrigued!
www.involvepeople.org/
GreenWhiteViolet · 03/12/2021 08:45

@Bouledeneige

Yes you are being unreasonable. Very. Sport still has a long way to go till it's a safe space for lesbians snd gays.
Stonewall rainbow laces aren't likely to make lesbians feel more welcome. Quite the opposite in many cases.
Lovelyricepudding · 03/12/2021 08:45

@Quincythequince

What’s the name of the new organisation advising BBC? Knew they’d dropped Stonewall, but gosh, didn’t take long to move on. Am intrigued!
I think it is Stonewall operating through a puppet company
Warmduscher · 03/12/2021 08:46

@Bouledeneige

Yes you are being unreasonable. Very. Sport still has a long way to go till it's a safe space for lesbians snd gays.
Yet another one who hasn’t read the thread Hmm
Warmduscher · 03/12/2021 08:48

I think it is Stonewall operating through a puppet company

I’d be really surprised if it is. Have a look at their website - it’s wall-to-wall wanky business-speak.

Lovelyricepudding · 03/12/2021 08:51

@Bouledeneige

Yes you are being unreasonable. Very. Sport still has a long way to go till it's a safe space for lesbians snd gays.
Following the stonewall route will make it unsafe for all women and girls - and I don't mean 'hurt feelings unsafe' I mean places then at significant risk of injury, possibly fatal injury, through having to play against men. And that is before you consider how safe and included they feel by having their boundaries, safety, privacy and dignity ignores from having to change and shower in open mixed sex changing rooms. Women of certain faiths will be totally excluded and other women are likely to exclude themselves. Then there is the issue of the rainbow laces are being pushed by a group liking lesbians to antisemites and racists for their same sex attraction.
Quincythequince · 03/12/2021 08:52

Thanks, will take a look.
Stonewall is rightly, getting drubbed for it’s underhanded anti gay and lesbian tactics.
I for one am watching their painful, public demise with glee!

They absolutely don’t give a crap about lesbians, and really aren’t arsed about gay men either!

Covert homophobia dressed up as trans acceptance!

The sooner they disappear, the better !

Lovelyricepudding · 03/12/2021 08:54

@Warmduscher

I think it is Stonewall operating through a puppet company

I’d be really surprised if it is. Have a look at their website - it’s wall-to-wall wanky business-speak.

Stonewall's or their puppet's?
Cocomarine · 03/12/2021 09:07

@Quincythequince I haven’t commented on gender issues or Rainbow laces or Stonewall, so I’m not sure what view you think I’m promulgating?

The view I’m expressing here is that I find it strange to say that a 12yo is too young to have a view that isn’t coloured by their parents’. Parents have an influence of course - but I know plenty of 12yo’s with their own opinions.

Warmduscher · 03/12/2021 09:07

Stonewall's or their puppet's?

Not sure what you mean - the InvolvePeople website is a corporate job with phrases like “shifting the dial” and “through an intersectional lens”.

Just word salad.

beastlyslumber · 03/12/2021 09:13

@Warmduscher

Stonewall's or their puppet's?

Not sure what you mean - the InvolvePeople website is a corporate job with phrases like “shifting the dial” and “through an intersectional lens”.

Just word salad.

InvolvePenis, surely?
Lovelyricepudding · 03/12/2021 09:13

BBC diversity training scheme with new group is Stonewall ‘in all but name’ www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/11/20/bbc-diversity-training-scheme-new-group-stonewall-name/

Quincythequince · 03/12/2021 09:16

[quote Cocomarine]@Quincythequince I haven’t commented on gender issues or Rainbow laces or Stonewall, so I’m not sure what view you think I’m promulgating?

The view I’m expressing here is that I find it strange to say that a 12yo is too young to have a view that isn’t coloured by their parents’. Parents have an influence of course - but I know plenty of 12yo’s with their own opinions.[/quote]
By mentioning the word ‘they’ you say it suggests that these issues; non-binary pronouns explicitly, have been discussed in their house. It means no such thing at all.

Rather than the OP not wanting to disclose the sex of her child in her first post (albeit she did subsequently reveal it).

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 03/12/2021 09:22

@Bouledeneige

Yes you are being unreasonable. Very. Sport still has a long way to go till it's a safe space for lesbians snd gays.
Feel like reading the thread now you’ve said your piece?
DaisyandSimeon · 03/12/2021 09:25

They are just laces, and after the first game will be covered in mud and brown. Just ignore it.

Lovelyricepudding · 03/12/2021 09:29

@EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn

It’s very clear who’s responding without having read the thread.

First they’re assuming the sex of the OP’s child, second they’re asking what the problem is when that question’s been answered in some detail - especially by lesbian posters.

And no attempt to justify the homophobic and anti-women and girls politics being pushed, just #BeKind
user1471447863 · 03/12/2021 09:32

YANBU
Enforced anything is meaningless. It's what you do that counts not what you say you do (or the the laces you wear).
As this is a stonewall initiative you are doubly not unreasonable. Stonewall have no place having any involvement with impressionable teenagers.
I'd expect teens these days to be the most inclusive anyway - from the threads on here friendship groups are awash with gay/lesbian/non binary etc, I'd also be very surprised if a female rugby team didn't have lesbians on it too, not that it's really anybody's business who someone is or isn't attracted too.

Lovelyricepudding · 03/12/2021 09:33

@DaisyandSimeon

They are just laces, and after the first game will be covered in mud and brown. Just ignore it.
Would you say the same if they were told to wear neo-nazi laces? Even if they were colourful neo-nazi laces? Or ones promoting UKIP?
LoveGrooveDanceParty · 03/12/2021 09:35

Would you say the same if they were told to wear neo-nazi laces? Even if they were colourful neo-nazi laces? Or ones promoting UKIP?

This is exactly what I’ve been thinking but didn’t dare say.

The swastika is just a striking, eye-catching design. It doesn’t mean anything. Right?