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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so upset my child has to wear rainbow laces to play rugby?

379 replies

Rainbowlaceshelp · 02/12/2021 16:39

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

OP posts:
Quincythequince · 03/12/2021 09:36

@DaisyandSimeon

They are just laces, and after the first game will be covered in mud and brown. Just ignore it.
So if they’re just laces then they’re meaningless anyway right?! So why bother at all!
EmeraldShamrock · 03/12/2021 09:39

I don't associate the rainbow with the likes of stonewall.
It represents same sex relationships and awareness that love is love between consenting adults.

SarahProblem · 03/12/2021 09:42

Godwin's Law in action. Are you seriously equating LGBT rights to Nazism?

FOJN · 03/12/2021 09:44

I don't associate the rainbow with the likes of stonewall.

OP has already stated they are part of the Stonewall Rainbow Laces campaign.

senua · 03/12/2021 09:47

@EmeraldShamrock

I don't associate the rainbow with the likes of stonewall. It represents same sex relationships and awareness that love is love between consenting adults.
It used to represent ... It has been hijacked by Stonewall who are all about the TQ+ and have left LGB behind. It is Stonewall who are organising this stunt. Just Stonewall, no other LGB charities are involved.
MorningStarling · 03/12/2021 09:47

@SarahProblem

Godwin's Law in action. Are you seriously equating LGBT rights to Nazism?
Didn't the Nazis mandate the wearing of certain items in certain situations by certain people? My history may be a little sketchy but I'm sure there were groups who had to wear a symbol or face the consequences.
Warmduscher · 03/12/2021 09:51

@SarahProblem

Godwin's Law in action. Are you seriously equating LGBT rights to Nazism?
Of course not. Read @MorningStarlingMorning’s post if you’re struggling to understand why compelled political behaviour is not acceptable.
senua · 03/12/2021 09:53

@SarahProblem

Godwin's Law in action. Are you seriously equating LGBT rights to Nazism?
Not LGB rights. Stonewall specifically. There is an analogy to the Hitler Youth Are you not aware of the antics that Stonewall have ben getting up to in schools?
ufucoffee · 03/12/2021 09:54

@user1471447863

YANBU Enforced anything is meaningless. It's what you do that counts not what you say you do (or the the laces you wear). As this is a stonewall initiative you are doubly not unreasonable. Stonewall have no place having any involvement with impressionable teenagers. I'd expect teens these days to be the most inclusive anyway - from the threads on here friendship groups are awash with gay/lesbian/non binary etc, I'd also be very surprised if a female rugby team didn't have lesbians on it too, not that it's really anybody's business who someone is or isn't attracted too.
This. It's all pointless
EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 03/12/2021 09:56

@SarahProblem

Godwin's Law in action. Are you seriously equating LGBT rights to Nazism?
Well, the head of Stonewall, who used to promote LGB rights but stopped some time ago, has described lesbians as ‘sexual racists’ and equated their beliefs that people can’t change sex with anti-semitism.
EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 03/12/2021 09:57

@Rainbowlaceshelp, would you consider reporting your OP & asking MNHQ to put ‘Stonewall’ in the title so it’s immediately obvious that they’re involved?

SarahProblem · 03/12/2021 09:59

The fact you're drawing a parallel between what gay people (and other groups) went through in Nazi Germany and a rainbow laces campaign speaks more to your character MorningStarling as does the petulant sarcastic response.

SpindlesWinterWhorl · 03/12/2021 10:00

I don't think a lot of people voting on this thread are aware of the damage that Stonewall #2 (the current incarnation, not the original) are doing to gay and bi- woman and men, and to children, with its teachings.

Stonewall is a controversial political lobbying group. It has no place in schools. It is neither tolerant nor kind.

Thefartingsofaofdenmarkstreet · 03/12/2021 10:00

I think giving out rainbow laces, or any other identifiable paraphernalia, and then directing people (especially kids) to wear it lest they 'don't look inclusive' is a pretty sinister tactic. The whole 'but why wouldn't you want to wear them' thing....Its essentially coercion.

Why can't info be given out through the club about where to source them, and then if people want to get them they can? That way people can still wear them if they want to, but there isn't the pressure on everyone.

Warmduscher · 03/12/2021 10:04

@SarahProblem

The fact you're drawing a parallel between what gay people (and other groups) went through in Nazi Germany and a rainbow laces campaign speaks more to your character MorningStarling as does the petulant sarcastic response.
You are so spectacularly missing the point I wonder if you’ve read any of the rest of the thread at all.
SD1978 · 03/12/2021 10:05

The rugby player OP is referring to is actually a girl- not a boy as is assumed. I agree with the (minority) of responders who do not believe you should be coerced into supporting anything. If SHE wants to, then fair enough. If she doesn't, she should t be penalised for that, or forced into it.

Sausagedogsarethebest · 03/12/2021 10:07

I can't see the problem personally. The most offensive thing for me is your phrase "hate the gays". 'The gays'?

Lovelyricepudding · 03/12/2021 10:09

@SarahProblem

Godwin's Law in action. Are you seriously equating LGBT rights to Nazism?
That would be Stonewall doing that: that being same sex attracted is equivalent to being anti-semetic

But no. I was pointing out the illogicality of saying 'they are only laces'. Suddenly you realise they aren't and the message matters?

luverlybubberly · 03/12/2021 10:11

People who think that Stonewall is still an organization promoting inclusivity, need to do their homework. This is an organization that does not believe in same sex attraction, everything must be about gender now.

12 is old enough to have an opinion on this. if you read enough posts on here, you'd be aghast to discover that kids in primary school are giving themselves gender identities Shock Very different times when I was 12 and buying stuff from the Body Shop because they didn't test in animals, was the popular tween/teen cause. Confused

I don't know how she can opt out without looking like a bigot though. Not conforming is going to create a lot of hassle for her in terms of a reputation of being a bigot and you risk her being asked to leave the team

EmeraldShamrock · 03/12/2021 10:11

I don't think a lot of people voting on this thread are aware of the damage that Stonewall #2 (the current incarnation, not the original) are doing to gay and bi- woman and men, and to children, with its teachings.
Yes you're right.
I apologise I jumped in feet first.
It is a very important matter.

I had some gender problems with DD she is fine now and accepted herself as she is.

I was beginning to think she was getting subliminal messages online.

I know two FTM young teenagers both like DD on the spectrum.

Thankfully I'd help and support from wise pp's on here unlike many parents who only associate the rainbow with same sex relationships.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/12/2021 10:15

Wondering why you believe 12 is too young to hold opinions?

Ours held very firm views about many things by then.

EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 03/12/2021 10:16

Three of the lesbian rights protests I’ve been involved in over the past few years have been against Stonewall. On two occasions they were outside Stonewall conferences and Stonewall tried to get us arrested.

The screaming irony is that one of these was on Lesbian Visibility Day - and it was clear that the absolute last thing Stonewall wanted to see was visible lesbians!

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 03/12/2021 10:19

@SarahProblem

The fact you're drawing a parallel between what gay people (and other groups) went through in Nazi Germany and a rainbow laces campaign speaks more to your character MorningStarling as does the petulant sarcastic response.
Look up the word ‘analogy’ in the dictionary, if you’re genuinely a bit thick having trouble.
senua · 03/12/2021 10:30

I don't know how she can opt out without looking like a bigot though.
Critical mass, innit? It needs enough people stick their heads above the parapet. I think the voting on this AIBU is about 50/50 so maybe OP might feel emboldened enough to speak to other parents on the team.

Thefartingsofaofdenmarkstreet · 03/12/2021 10:32

I don't know how she can opt out without looking like a bigot though.

That's the whole idea.