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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so upset my child has to wear rainbow laces to play rugby?

379 replies

Rainbowlaceshelp · 02/12/2021 16:39

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

OP posts:
MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 03/12/2021 10:41

it is incredibly lonely and isolating to feel as though you are the only one in your team/friendship group/office who is same-sex attracted

Stonewall would now tell you the correct phrase is "same gender attracted", they would say if you're a lesbian attracted to only females that's your choice but they'd recommend you examine your prejudices. Not outright calling you a bigot but then why are they advising you to challenge your own sexuality? Doesn't being told you have a sexuality prejudice by Stonewall of all places not seem wrong? (hint - it's because you don't include penises)

Is everyone missing the part where OP says this is a specific stonewall campaign, they're being made mandatory and not only that but they are going to be watched over to make sure they put them on? That does not sit well with me.

Cocomarine · 03/12/2021 10:51

@Sausagedogsarethebest

I can't see the problem personally. The most offensive thing for me is your phrase "hate the gays". 'The gays'?
@Sausagedogsarethebest I’ll jump in to defend OP there!

It’s quite a well used phrase to show exasperation at a homophobic section of society who think of people as “the gays” - othering gay people and putting them into a homogeneous lump, the type of idiots that think that you can “catch gay”.

It’s a bit like when people write “oH M GeEee hUn” to roll their eyes at people being over dramatic on social media.

mustlovegin · 03/12/2021 11:02

What’s the name of the new organisation advising BBC?

Well, this has turned into a proper industry, hasn't it?

Why do we need to fund all of this? Can't we keep it simple?

thepiratequeen · 03/12/2021 11:05

@Thefartingsofaofdenmarkstreet

I think giving out rainbow laces, or any other identifiable paraphernalia, and then directing people (especially kids) to wear it lest they 'don't look inclusive' is a pretty sinister tactic. The whole 'but why wouldn't you want to wear them' thing....Its essentially coercion.

Why can't info be given out through the club about where to source them, and then if people want to get them they can? That way people can still wear them if they want to, but there isn't the pressure on everyone.

This.
EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 03/12/2021 11:21

it is incredibly lonely and isolating to feel as though you are the only one in your team/friendship group/office who is same-sex attracted

The places where I’d feel most isolated -and nervous - as a same-sex-attracted woman would be anywhere labelled LGBTQIA+++.

sophiasnail · 03/12/2021 21:09

I'm a lesbian and agree with you OP.

TomPinch · 04/12/2021 00:31

Also it's not about supporting a minority group, whatever its proponents allege.

When the focus was on LGB and T too, leastways some years back, it was most definitely about minority rights.

Now, the concept of trans has become so nebulous that anyone can opt in. A woman who could on theory find herself attracted to a biological male who identifies as non-binary, even to a slight extent, is, on current theory, not heterosexual but "pan" and can take her place on the alphabet pantheon. Or you can be an ally. Not opting in makes you an apostate.

It's the new religion, with its dogmas, clergy and blasphemies, and it's reviving enforced religious performances, something which hadn't existed in my lifetime

Hilarias · 04/12/2021 05:35

From your first post I just knew you were talking about a girls’ team. I really doubt a boys’ team would be forced to wear these. But for girls it’s how early they start being pushed to ‘be kind’, ignore their boundaries, and pretty soon they’ll be accepting male bodies players on the girls’ team.

OverByYer · 04/12/2021 08:11

@Hilarias

From your first post I just knew you were talking about a girls’ team. I really doubt a boys’ team would be forced to wear these. But for girls it’s how early they start being pushed to ‘be kind’, ignore their boundaries, and pretty soon they’ll be accepting male bodies players on the girls’ team.
Absolutely this
mustlovegin · 04/12/2021 08:26

It's the new religion, with its dogmas, clergy and blasphemies, and it's reviving enforced religious performances, something which hadn't existed in my lifetime

^This. Also the message 'if you are not with me you are against me' is very scary

EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 04/12/2021 08:28

@Hilarias

From your first post I just knew you were talking about a girls’ team. I really doubt a boys’ team would be forced to wear these. But for girls it’s how early they start being pushed to ‘be kind’, ignore their boundaries, and pretty soon they’ll be accepting male bodies players on the girls’ team.
That's very true. You never see tops with ‘Be kind’ on in the boys’ or men’s clothing sections.
MrsSugar · 04/12/2021 08:30

Christ sake
It’s shoelaces. Get over it. Complete non issue here there’s much worse things to worry about !

MoveAhoy · 04/12/2021 08:33

Lol to all those saying it's just laces.

Does anyone remember the days when we used to say : it's just a rosary? Or it's just a crucifix? We used to have to have one dangling in the car or round our necks.

It's not just laces. It's a symbol.

And it is becoming obligatory.

I've fought for abortion and lgb rights all my life despite being a roman Catholic. Now the pendulum swings and I find myself asking lgbt organisations not to behave the way the church used to.

Intheopinionofourexpert · 04/12/2021 09:50

@MrsSugar

Christ sake It’s shoelaces. Get over it. Complete non issue here there’s much worse things to worry about !
Your might want to do a bit of reading around Stonewall and the direction it's taken in recent times. Maybe then you will realise this is about much more than shoelaces.
EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 04/12/2021 09:54

Your might want to do a bit of reading around Stonewall and the direction it's taken in recent times. Maybe then you will realise this is about much more than shoelaces.

Reading the full thread would be a good start.

logsonlogsoff · 04/12/2021 10:05

Homophobia and racism are huge issues in sport.
Rainbow laces day helps awareness of one of these issues. Just let the kid wear the laces. They look cool. DD and DS left theirs on their boots permanently.

Lovelyricepudding · 04/12/2021 10:54

@logsonlogsoff

Homophobia and racism are huge issues in sport. Rainbow laces day helps awareness of one of these issues. Just let the kid wear the laces. They look cool. DD and DS left theirs on their boots permanently.
Another one who hasn't rtft Hmm stonewall, who are behind this, are a homophobic organisation encouraging homophobia. They are also anti-women. I take it you would be happy for your dd to play rugby against men despite the very high risk of injury, possibly fatal injury? And tell her she must not object to getting undressed in front of men? That is what you are advocating for.
Lovelyricepudding · 04/12/2021 10:58

But more than that - you are supporting forcing people to show support for a political organisation - or else! Do you really think that ends well?

ScreamingBeans · 04/12/2021 11:55

It's amazing how many people just don't RTFT, or even past the first post.

Even just reading each highlighted post that the OP has made, will give you some idea of where the discussion has gone and why so many of us consider Stonewall a homophobic and particularly lesbophobic organisation.

Nancy Kelly hasn't actually called gay men "sexual racists". Just gay women. Men are allowed to have sexual boundaries. For now. It's just women who aren't.

logsonlogsoff · 04/12/2021 16:50

'Another one who hasn't rtft hmm stonewall, who are behind this, are a homophobic organisation encouraging homophobia. '

I'm a gay woman, so well aware of who Stonewall are. I also know how homophobic organised sport can be.
If you really, genuinely find this to be an issue OP ( which I both saddened and stunned by) tell the coach your kid won't be wearing them. End of. Fucking hell, though. Now people are complaining about fucking rainbows.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 04/12/2021 17:00

Rainbow laces started off as a great idea to show support for LGBT ppl in sport (though given the lack of E.g. out gay footballers for example, I question how effective it’s been as a campaign)

However since stonewall decided to find a new cause in Trans activism, the rainbow laces now mean that as well as supporting gay, lesbian, bi sexual & trans ppl ti live their lives without fear or harassment (great!) it also means supporting men being allowed in womens sport & the subsequent erasure of E.g. womens sporting records as men identifying as women come into woman’s sport

Só no it’s not “just laces” not anymore

Warmduscher · 04/12/2021 17:40

Now people are complaining about fucking rainbows.

That’s seriously your takeaway from this thread?

ArabellaScott · 04/12/2021 18:59

Now people are complaining about fucking rainbows

Do you speak to many people in everyday life, logson? Lots of people have been suspicious of and resentful of 'fucking rainbows' for quite some time. This is little to do with anyone's feelings on gay people and much to do with Stonewall's aggressive & intolerant orthodoxy being forced onto issues to the actual detriment of LGB people.

See also 'pride' marches, which many gay/lesbian/bi people I know go out of their way to avoid. They've become a vehicle for corporate rainbow washing, drag, kink and straight people who want to feel risky for an afternoon. So much for civil rights.

SpindlesWinterWhorl · 04/12/2021 19:16

@MrsSugar

Christ sake It’s shoelaces. Get over it. Complete non issue here there’s much worse things to worry about !
Oh give over.

And read the thread?

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 04/12/2021 19:32

@logsonlogsoff

'Another one who hasn't rtft hmm stonewall, who are behind this, are a homophobic organisation encouraging homophobia. '

I'm a gay woman, so well aware of who Stonewall are. I also know how homophobic organised sport can be.
If you really, genuinely find this to be an issue OP ( which I both saddened and stunned by) tell the coach your kid won't be wearing them. End of. Fucking hell, though. Now people are complaining about fucking rainbows.

So would you, as Stonewall insists you should, have a relationship with a ‘woman’ with a penis?