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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so upset my child has to wear rainbow laces to play rugby?

379 replies

Rainbowlaceshelp · 02/12/2021 16:39

Just as the title says.

My child came home today and says they have been given a set of rainbow laces for thier rugby boots for the game at the weekend. To show that they are inclusive.

I'm very very upset and angry that I am now being forced to confront this issue.

I have no objection to showing solidarity for gay and lesbian people. It is precisely for this reason I object to being strong armed into rainbow compliance by Stonewall who grow more homophobic by the day.

What can I do? Should I just get over it, conform and keep quiet? I don't want to make my child appear as though they 'hate the gays' when it's in fact the total opposite.

OP posts:
Lovelyricepudding · 03/12/2021 00:55

The majority of people don't see the harm,

Not for much longer though - when their daughters are suddenly faced with men in the opposing rugby team, when their swimming records are broken by a man who swam in the men's team six months previously, and when the communual showers in the ladies changing room contains men. When their mother has to share a hospital ward with male sex offenders despite her vulnerability. When public health campaigns go over their head because it neglects to mention it applies to women putting their lives at risk. When women are told they are fairly represented in a group consisting entirely of men. When protective equipment doesn't fit because the average measurements for women included men. When their daughter has men following her into the toilets and she can say nothing about it. When they are a victim of a horrendous gang rape and find the only support groups on offer contain men and call her a bigot for her trauma response to men. When a mistake lands them in prison and they find themselves locked up with a male rapist. When these things start to happen directly to them and not just to other women then they may start to see the harm.

2bazookas · 03/12/2021 01:08

I would send a letter to the coach/organiser saying " My child is wearing his usual laces , so I just want to impress upon you, this is NOT to be interpreted as any kind of gender politics statement."

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 03/12/2021 01:48

@KateInHappyland

I don't know why you're so upset and angry about this? The team are trying to show they're inclusive, that's a good thing.

How is 12 too young to have an opinion? At 12, kids are already starting to have 'feelings' for people - many also know they're gay at that age.
If a child is having those feelings, knowing their football team are open and supportive will help them feel safer to be themselves.

Now, why don’t you go and RTFT, and you’ll see exactly what the OP, and many others, are upset and angry about. It’s all there in black and white.

There is nothing inclusive about excluding lesbians and women in general.

caringcarer · 03/12/2021 01:53

I would not let my child attend. Simple as that. A trans woman has now 'won' the record for swimming previously held by a female with XX chromosomes.

TomPinch · 03/12/2021 02:04

I think 58% of voters so far have forgotten that showing support isn't worth much if it's involuntary.

Ajl46 · 03/12/2021 02:06

@Ghislainedefeligonde

I would be annoyed about this, as I don’t think mixed sex contact rugby is safe. Stonewall thinks it’s totally fine and given that they have hijacked the rainbow and made life worse for lots of lesbians I don’t see why kids should be coerced into supporting them
^^This. YANBU. I wouldn't be forcing my child to wear these in support of Stonewall either.
timeisnotaline · 03/12/2021 02:14

I’d probably let him wear it. I wore a rainbow lanyard, granted it was a few years ago before I was up on this but it made the gay man in my team happy so I’d still have worn it probably.

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 03/12/2021 02:46

@timeisnotaline

I’d probably let him wear it. I wore a rainbow lanyard, granted it was a few years ago before I was up on this but it made the gay man in my team happy so I’d still have worn it probably.
The OP’s child is not a ‘him’. She’s a ‘her’.
TomPinch · 03/12/2021 02:47

Has there ever been a time in peace time when British culture has been this performative?

PixieLaLa · 03/12/2021 03:04

I don’t see the issue, there colourful laces so what? I really done get why anyone would create a problem over something so non issue.

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 03/12/2021 03:13

For the hard of thinking. It’s not the laces. Obviously. It’s what they represent.

TooBigForMyBoots · 03/12/2021 03:43

YABU @Rainbowlaceshelp. At 12, your son should be able to make the decision for himself. He's 12. They're laces. Get over it.🤷‍♀️

Electriq · 03/12/2021 04:36

They are rainbow laces, whats the big deal, within about 20 minutes they're going to be covered in mud anyway, your kicking off for no reason and being a terrible example for your child!

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 03/12/2021 05:42

@TooBigForMyBoots

YABU *@Rainbowlaceshelp*. At 12, your son should be able to make the decision for himself. He's 12. They're laces. Get over it.🤷‍♀️
She. Not he.
LoveGrooveDanceParty · 03/12/2021 05:43

And she is making her own decision about it. Confused

ShoppingBasket · 03/12/2021 05:56

Personally, I don't think issues like the wearing of rainbow laces should be brought into sport. I also include the wearing of the poppy or band in that. Sport should be just sport. I don't agree with religion, politics or any other issues being brought to the game. By all means have fundraisers or speakers in away from the pitch. People can choose what they support and I think it is more meaningful to the cause than be forced to conform.

EmpressaurusWitchDoesntBurn · 03/12/2021 07:51

It’s very clear who’s responding without having read the thread.

First they’re assuming the sex of the OP’s child, second they’re asking what the problem is when that question’s been answered in some detail - especially by lesbian posters.

ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 03/12/2021 08:13

It would piss me off for the pure arseache of having to remove laces and put new ones in. I'd just say I forgot

SarahProblem · 03/12/2021 08:25

@TomPinch

Has there ever been a time in peace time when British culture has been this performative?
Every year when it's time to bust out the poppies.
Naunet · 03/12/2021 08:28

Why does being “inclusive” always mean (LGB)T? What are they doing to show they’re inclusive of race or disability? Fuck all I guess?

Quincythequince · 03/12/2021 08:29

Before forced to show inclusivity, isn’t inclusive.
Yes, they are just laces, but rainbow laces don’t explicitly include everyone, not least many lesbians, because of how the rainbow symbol has been used in recent times!

Nobody should have to do this, if they don’t want to.

Anyone ever see the episode of Seinfeld with Kramer and the attempted forced wearing of the red ribbon scene ?! This is no different!

Quincythequince · 03/12/2021 08:29

*Being (not before)

Quincythequince · 03/12/2021 08:32

It’s virtue signalling and it’s pretty pathetic to force kids to do as I’m going to guess if you asked them, or even their coaches what it means, where it comes from, the history behind it, who it includes etc, they wouldn’t know!

And I have a very much loved and accepted ‘same-sec’ attracted child btw, before any comes at me for not being accepting, or inclusive.

He wouldn’t wear it, and neither would I.

Quincythequince · 03/12/2021 08:34

@Electriq

They are rainbow laces, whats the big deal, within about 20 minutes they're going to be covered in mud anyway, your kicking off for no reason and being a terrible example for your child!
👆🏻 Case in point. You clearly don’t get it. So if they’re not a big deal, why wear them at all then…if they’re so meaningless!
OhGiveUp · 03/12/2021 08:38

I wouldn't allow them to be worn, no.