To be upset by piano teacher comments

[FlibberdyGibbett]

My 10 year old son ‘Josh’ has been having piano lessons for six weeks and I have received this text from his teacher.

“Josh seems to be struggling in his lessons. He complains his fingers are tired even after we have just started the lesson. This morning he told me he has been doing too much writing in class beforehand. He seems to talk a lot and doesn’t seem particularly interested. He tells me he practises on his iPad?? I’m not sure the piano is right for Josh, maybe consider a different instrument next term.”

AIBU to feel upset and my son is being unsupported?

"Why does she need to be 'kind' to you?

She's given you her opinion (and the reasons for it), and she wasn't rude about it."

Being unkind is being rude.

@WalkingOnTheCracks

You don't have to be 'great' to get pleasure from making music.

True. Outside of your job, enjoying something is much more important than being good at it. I often wonder how much fitter we’d all be if we hadn’t been put off sport at school by being told we were useless. Be a terrible volleyball player, an awful violinist, a crap painter. If it gives you pleasure, that’s enough.

GKChesterton said, “If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly.”

I agree! Wise words from GKC (and you of course)

@starrynight87

I would try him on a recorder for a bit

Its odd but one of my dc plays violin and it has a lovely sound, has done right from start, and they are technically quite good, but they can't play the recorder for toffee. They keep picking it up and trying and making a strange strangled noise, can't get concept of how fingers have to be placed I guess.

Remember, MANY great musicians have had no or hardly any tuition. Many can't read music. Thank fuck their parents weren't on mumsnet eh?

Yes this is true, but those great musicians did not get where they are without a passion for their instrument/singing. Nor did they get there without practising. Some may have made it with no or hardly any tuition but they were self-starters who wanted to do it.
It doesn't sound like Josh is the least bit interested in the piano. He's complaining about his fingers hurting. He chats away in the lessons and the teacher says he doesn't seem interested.
There is no point in continuing lessons in this situation. I also think there is little point in starting on the violin. Josh may have a burning desire to play violin but it doesn't sound like from the OP's post.

It would be better to take a break from the lessons completely and at some point have a chat with him about which instrument, if any, he would like to learn. He might be better teaching himself to play something - guitar springs to mind here. There are a lot of great guitarists, especially in bands, who've never had formal music tuition.

But whatever is decided, one thing is for sure, he can't learn an instrument or discover a passion for it if he doesn't have access to the instrument.

And as a music teacher myself of over a decade, I've never had anyone turn up in the first 6 weeks behaving as the teacher says Josh has done. Normally the pupils are really keen at first. Some fall by the wayside when things start to get more difficult and they don't want to practise, but piano starters are normally excited about it.

I can’t think of a single great classical musician who had no/hardly any tuition.

You can do that with jazz and pop but not classical.

@TatianaBis

I can’t think of a single great classical musician who had no/hardly any tuition.

You can do that with jazz and pop but not classical.

Who said Josh wanted to play classical piano though? I suspect a lot of kids say they want to learn to play an instrument because of pop music. Learning to play pop, jazz, rock, whatever is no less valuable.

Jamie Cullum had no formal teaching. He had a passion for music and the piano though, which Josh seemingly does not

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

Jamie Cullum had no formal teaching. He had a passion for music and the piano though, which Josh seemingly does not

I challenge anyone to muster anything approaching 'passion' sitting in your first 6 shared piano lessons at age ten with nowt but an ipad to practise on.

However if you stuck a piano in his house and asked him if he wanted to play around on it, he just might.

Wait until you hear about White Men. You'll be mind blown.

However if you stuck a piano in his house and asked him if he wanted to play around on it, he just might.

This is how I conned DD into the piano. She smashed around on one and I casually mentioned that there are people called piano teachers. You follow their interest. They won't learn otherwise.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

Jamie Cullum had no formal teaching. He had a passion for music and the piano though, which Josh seemingly does not

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken to be fair though, taken from Jamie Cullum's online history:

"His father, John, the son of Jewish refugees who came to England from Germany, and his mother, Yvonne, who is second-generation Burmese, performed together in a rock cover band. They also had an extensive record collection, to which they introduced their two sons. At the age of eight Jamie began taking piano lessons. He quit at eleven, after failing an exam, and began to explore other art forms. The works of American authors Ernest Hemingway and Jack Kerouac influenced him greatly, as did films like The Fabulous Baker Boys (1989). However, two events at the age of 13 helped shape Cullum as a musician: he received an electric guitar for his birthday,* and he saw the American jazz singer Harry Connick Jr. in performance. At around this time, Ben Cullum began to take charge of his brother's musical tastes..."

It didn't exactly happen in a vacuum.

And poor Josh has no instrument - Jamie was bought an electric guitar!

You can’t really support someone who’s not interested

Good idea! Buy a piano for child who already shows disinterest in playing the piano!

@mewkins - not talking about Josh

Jamie Callum is not a classical musician. See my original point.

@TatianaBis

Jamie Callum is not a classical musician. See my original point.

Does Josh want to be a classical pianist?

See the original post

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

Good idea! Buy a piano for child who already shows disinterest in playing the piano!

But he does have an interest. He asked to play. Music lessons can be really tedious but will be 10x more so if you can't play in between them.

Also, you don't need lessons to play an instrument.

He was using my sisters piano to practise a couple of times a week until we got our own keyboard sorted.

Also, I’d take the word of a piano teacher who has spent time with him and is actually going to lose money by mentioning his disinterest.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

See the original post I was replying to:

Remember, MANY great musicians have had no or hardly any tuition. Many can't read music. Thank fuck their parents weren't on mumsnet eh?

[quote TatianaBis]@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

See the original post I was replying to:

Remember, MANY great musicians have had no or hardly any tuition. Many can't read music. Thank fuck their parents weren't on mumsnet eh?[/quote]
Like Jamie Cullum?

There’s no mention of classical pianists in that post.

it says great musicians and I differentiated between classical and jazz.

I wouldn’t personally call Callum great anyway.

@TatianaBis

it says great musicians and I differentiated between classical and jazz.

I wouldn’t personally call Callum great anyway.

Callum who?

You’re not the arbitrator of who is a great musician and classical is not synonymous with great. Cullum has sold enough albums to provide himself with a very comfortable lifestyle.
His music isn’t my cup of tea but he’s successful and many would say he’s a great musician.

Is it just pianists who have to play classical music for them to be considered great?

A lot of those ‘untrained’ musicians never had formal music lessons - because their families were musicians so they didn’t need to!
And If you are indeed a genius who can teach themselves to play then you don’t need a teacher so who cares what one says?

Paul McCartney has done ok for himself too

I tutor and I’ve started feeding back in a similar way tbh.
There’s loads of hard working kids, of all abilities academic and focus wise, who do the best they can. Who want to learn. I have a waiting list.
I’m done spending double the time trying to engage disengaged kids with ever more imaginative techniques, who will probably make little progress due to attitude at school.
Also as a parent, I’d be grateful not to waste my money on my own child not making progress.
See it as a favour.

Callum = autocorrect.

As to the rest, cba.