Page 22 | Would you date a binman?

TrishM80 · 2021-12-02T09:17:15+00:00

Inspired by another thread about being a binman as a career. You meet a guy on a night out or OLD. Seems nice enough and nice looking, all good. Tells you he's a binman. YABU - immediate turn off YANBU - give him a chance

Doggydreaming · 03/12/2021 21:50

I had a relationahip with a bin man between the age of 15 and 18. He remains one of the nicest men I have ever known. I only broke up with him because he was a bit too intense and I was too young ro get into anything serious (and his family were a nightmare). I don't really go for people based on their career and finances though; justgl whether I like them. I thought that was normal!

5128gap · 03/12/2021 21:54

Snobbery aside, there seems something rather transactional about requiring a certain income level before a man can afford your interest. Almost like selling to the highest bidder. Which seems a bit at odds with the superiority underlying some of the posts.

Weddell · 03/12/2021 22:00

I once met a guy on a night out in Leeds; he was with a group of lads, I was with a group of girls, we got chatting etc. I asked him what his job was and he said “a bin man” and his mates snickered a bit. I thought something was a bit odd but we kept talking and ended up kissing, and he asked me back to his where they were having a party after the pub. I was meeting some mates at a club so declined and never saw him again. But a few days later my friend texted me as she had found out they were England and Leeds County professional cricket players! So I think he was testing me to see if I really liked him or was just a shallow money/fame chaser. My friend still berates me for saying no to that party invitation though…

Fidgetty · 03/12/2021 22:00

Snobbery aside, there seems something rather transactional about requiring a certain income level before a man can afford your interest.

Isn't it just about compatibility? Disparity of income in couples usually causes issues IME.

EggshellSpreadsheet · 03/12/2021 22:10

@5128gap

Snobbery aside, there seems something rather transactional about requiring a certain income level before a man can afford your interest. Almost like selling to the highest bidder. Which seems a bit at odds with the superiority underlying some of the posts.

Income level used to matter to me either and before I met DH every single person I had a relationship with earned less than me. This resulted in me paying for both of us every time I wanted to do so something they couldn't afford, or us not ending up doing things because they wouldn't let me pay for them. I never went out looking for someone who earned over a certain amount but it definitely makes life easier when a partner is willing and able to go 50/50 with you.

5128gap · 03/12/2021 22:10

@Fidgetty

Snobbery aside, there seems something rather transactional about requiring a certain income level before a man can afford your interest.

Isn't it just about compatibility? Disparity of income in couples usually causes issues IME.

IME the majority of couples have significant disparity in income, particularly when they have children, so I wouldn't have thought it should cause particular issues if a man earned less.

OhWhyNot · 03/12/2021 22:13

I wouldn’t find it appealing

I think many are being disingenuous with their replies

naturallyred · 03/12/2021 22:16

I hate that this is even a question.

DerektheGoose · 03/12/2021 22:22

I know a bin man and he's fit as fuck, handsome, solvent, homeowner - what's not to like?

DebHagland · 03/12/2021 22:24

If he's a great guy, ticks all the boxes on personality, makes you happy, what he does for a job shouldn't matter.

JesusWeptLady · 03/12/2021 22:24

I had a friend at college (he was a mature student) and he'd worked in bins for a few years before wanting to do something completely different.

He said the porn culture amongst the men on the bins was HUGE.

That would put me off.

Tessabelle1 · 03/12/2021 22:26

How shallow would you have to be to believe a binman is beneath you?

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/12/2021 22:28

Date - sure. Probably not LTR because they don't earn all that much and IDEALLY I'd rather not be carrying someone else financially, and also, I find ambition attractive.

DerektheGoose · 03/12/2021 22:33

Jeez some of these answers are depressing.
Imagine if the roles were reversed.
"Would you date a retail assistant/bar maid/care worker?"

5128gap · 03/12/2021 22:34

@Luredbyapomegranate

Date - sure. Probably not LTR because they don't earn all that much and IDEALLY I'd rather not be carrying someone else financially, and also, I find ambition attractive.

I wonder would you also reject men in extremely high earning professions on the grounds you wouldn't want them to be carrying you?

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/12/2021 22:43

@5128gap

I wouldn't be wild about being with someone so wealthy what I brought in was irrelevant, and maybe they wouldn't want to date me, come to that. People tend to be in relationships with people with whom they have a fair degree in common.

5128gap · 03/12/2021 22:45

@DerektheGoose

Jeez some of these answers are depressing. Imagine if the roles were reversed. "Would you date a retail assistant/bar maid/care worker?"

They wouldn't be. Most men wouldn't care less about jobs. Their version of this thread would be would you date an unattractive woman. But yeah, imagine the outrage.

OhWhyNot · 03/12/2021 22:53

No I wouldn’t be outraged

Do you really believe so many who have replied (given that it’s MN) really wouldn’t care?

Oh please

Ddot · 03/12/2021 23:12

I frequented a nightclub that a lot of rich men visited. A plank started to chat me up, he then asked me what I did. I told him I worked on the market, he seemed more interested his eyes lit up. I work in the market to, he scarped quick when I explained I didnt work in stocks but actually on a market stall 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mamanyt · 03/12/2021 23:12

Goodness, yes. I have a binman whom, if I were 40 years younger, I would trip and hit the ground before he did. He's drop-dead gorgeous, never fails to have a smile and wave to whomever is out on his route, and appears to be a perfectly nice person. I'd certainly take the time to find out if he's as nice as he appears.

Fidgetty · 03/12/2021 23:16

I think many are being disingenuous with their replies

I think so too. There's a stigma attached, rightly or wrongly (wrongly IMO but it still exists) and all this faux "what's not to like?" is a bit 🙄

TractorAndHeadphones · 03/12/2021 23:19

[quote Luredbyapomegranate]@5128gap

I wouldn't be wild about being with someone so wealthy what I brought in was irrelevant, and maybe they wouldn't want to date me, come to that. People tend to be in relationships with people with whom they have a fair degree in common.[/quote]
This.
Also however out of touch it may sounds to some people what's a good income depends on your circumstances.
Compared to care/retail/hospitality work 30K a year + short hours is good. Senior waste management professional earning 50K also good.
But if your circle (like a lot of mine) are in accounting, tech etc 30K is a starting salary, after a raft of qualifications/exams etc people top out at at least 70K. You don't necessarily have to work crazy hours after a certain point either if you're comfortable remaining at that level.

Not that I was quite bothered. My concern was about about a profession transferable to my home country (where binmen are on minimum wage with no advancement opportunities). But I can see why people consider income. Especially if you're young and don't realise how much of an advantage etc it is having one parent more suited to staying home already if you're a 'high flier'.

@Weddell I wouldn't want to date a sportsperson either, all the faffing about with meals ... seeing DP eat my cooking makes me happy

TractorAndHeadphones · 03/12/2021 23:24

@Fidgetty

I think many are being disingenuous with their replies

I think so too. There's a stigma attached, rightly or wrongly (wrongly IMO but it still exists) and all this faux "what's not to like?" is a bit 🙄

How many people have actually been faced with the situation though? I agree that a lot of people are virtue signalling but really depends on your life situation. When I was younger I wouldn't have cared my only criteria was hot, nice and interesting

money was never a problem as i could always find cheap things to do anyway. As I got older I got pickier, using what I'd learnt from previous dating experiences and the path my life would take.

Sometimes though if you meet a person and you're not really looking you just date them and don't really filter compared to OLD

HandforthParishCouncilClerk · 03/12/2021 23:35

No, purely because I cannot do early mornings if I can possibly avoid it. The same applies to milkmen, farmers, hospital doctors, lifeboat crew….. After 5 years of a non-sleeping child, I couldn’t get into a relationship with anyone I knew would have a more than usual chance of disturbing my precious sleep

5128gap · 03/12/2021 23:37

@Fidgetty

I think many are being disingenuous with their replies

I think so too. There's a stigma attached, rightly or wrongly (wrongly IMO but it still exists) and all this faux "what's not to like?" is a bit 🙄

It really depends where you are in life though and what your priorities are. I earn enough to more than adequately support myself, and don't need a man's income. My tastes are not extravagant so its highly unlikely a bin man wouldn't be able to afford to do the things I enjoy, and if he couldn't, I'm perfectly capable of doing them alone or with friends. Experience has taught me that a person's job is not a reflection of their intelligence, wit, warmth, strength of character, capacity to love and have fun, or their level of physical attractiveness, and these are my priorities. I have no interest in avoiding stigma, as I have no interest in the views of people who would stigmatise a job that harms no one and has value to society. So, I'm being entirely honest when I say I wouldn't mind, and am sure I'm not unique in that.