Do people who talk of a 'forever home' forget they are going to age?

[flashbac]

Who wants to rattle around in a family home when the kids have left and you can no longer do the stairs? Are people intending on hogging a home too big for their needs until they die or am I missing something?

What is a 'forever home'?

We are in our early 60s and don't intend to move, it's a 3 bed detached house, stairs are good for you anyway, wouldn't want to end up with bungalow leg

I don't want to know I'm only moving somewhere to leave in a coffin

The idea is that you do a lot of living there first.

@ILoveHuskies

😂

It's such a cringey and twee saying 🤢🤢

My dad uses the phrase 'The death house' instead. As in here until they die. My mother hates that!

If someone has bought and paid for a house using their own hard earned money then they can do with (and call it) what they like surely?

I hate the term “forever home” but my mid-60s parents are not rattling around their home now their children have left.

@Legomania

DH and I are just in the process of buying one of these. We mean one we won't outgrow as a family, and are prepared to spend money on to get exactly how we want it. Obviously we'll reevaluate when we retire. But 30 years feels pretty 'forever' right now!

This.

Plus ours means we could if needs be/ want live entirely downstairs as there's a downstairs shower room and the living room could become a bedroom as we have 2 other reception rooms.

We intend to downsize when it's appropriate, but that won't be for 30+ years unless something happens.

@SparklyLeprechaun

It might be a bit of a misnomer, but what's this about "hogging a house"? I'm not hogging anything, I'll live in my own house for as long as I want and it's nothing to do with anyone else.

I agree! We are not "hogging" our house! We're feckin' LIVING in it! Also, the way things are going, here in Ireland anyway, soon there will be more than one generation living in a house, just as there was in my father's home house in my living memory. For a couple of decades, there was my grandmother, my uncle and his wife, plus their 5 children living there. The way the housing market is in this country I will not be surprised if I end up with not just my husband, but my son and his future wife/partner and kids living here before I pass on! If that's "hogging" then I'll hog on and long may my descendants "hog" it too! Feck's sake!

I hope I'll be able to manage the stairs when I retire - I know plenty of fit and able people of my age at the gym and running club. We will not be moving. I like having a sewing room, DH likes having a yoga studio in what was originally the dining room. I'm not moving to some pokey hole just because of prejudice about my age. Where would all my visitors stay if I didn't have 4 bedrooms?

@IcelandicCabin
😂 Death House

I like that.

I have my forever home. I designed every corner of it. It is big but I would only move out if we financially had to, or if I needed to for my mental/physical health. Otherwise I will rattle around here in my old age. I've 4 kids, even when they move out I suspect they and their potential kids will still be coming and going from here regularly. If not all of them, at least some of them.

My parents stayed in my 5 bed childhood home until they died. It was absolutely the heart of the family. We could all visit whenever we liked, One of my sibiling's family moved in when times were tough. They had friends & family staying often. They loved the garden, my bedroom became my mum's craft room. They would have been miserable being made to move out of the home.

My parents in law (younger than my parents) are having an extension built in their 70s so they have a downstairs bathroom for when they need to move to a downstairs bedroom and a bigger eat in kitchen to host the whole family.

Why shouldn't they still be enjoying their lives and their families ?

Also my parents were never unable to manage stairs. Not everyone ages the same.

many retirees need less bedrooms but being at home all day they do not want a smaller living room or kitchen dining room, often they want an office or hobby room and lots are keen gardeners
while some people can't manage stairs some manage stairs until in 80-90's my father is 97 he has only needed a stairlift in past two years but he still potters in greenhouse and garden outside space is really important to him my mother can easily manage rest of house
the guest bedroom is used regularly for friends the box room is used 3-4 times a year for grandchildren. It varies greatly when people actually need sheltered accommodation some will never need it even in 80-90's most people never go into a care home, 13.7% of over 85 year olds live in care homes meaing 86.3% live in their own home maybe wirth carers but mostly not

I don’t see the need to be critical of the size, style or cost of any property anyone chooses to live in.

Using the stairs is a good thing, to keep joints working and for a certain amount of exercise. I resent the implication that I shouldn’t be permitted to live in my house because it has more bedrooms than I need. They are repurposed as a craft room and office and they are somewhere for visitors to stay.

It smacks of prejudice, most certainly and a certain inverted snobbery. The bemusement would be better directed towards very wealthy folk who have houses they don’t live in. I worked hard for mine.

Hmmm my gran lived in her home “forever” a 3 bed house - from age 30 until she died at 99

I have a very large house, ds says he’s never leaving and will live here with his family. Fine by me.
I do think of this house as staying in the family forever.

I’ll be “hogging” mine - I’ll have blooming paid for it! No kids, no divorce to factor in. Two spare rooms to accommodate visitors. I considered it my “forever home” when I bought it and I still feel the same about it now.

My hope is that I do leave here in a coffin. And that the children of two friends will benefit from the sale of my house along with happy memories of time spent here (friends have no idea of this).

With all the grandchildren and partners my parents need a bigger house than when we were kids at times. Trying to fit 15 for Christmas dinner is difficult. The spare rooms are well used so definitely don’t see it as rattling around at all.

It’s a cutesy saying but I think people just mean a long term home. They don’t literally mean that they’ll go from that particular house to the cemetery.

Not keen on the phrase but this is exactly what we did. No kids and bought a bungalow, well within our means that we love in a great location. It was a wreck when we bought it but we have spent several years doing it up exactly how we want. Obviously cannot guarantee it is forever but unless we end up in a nursing home I cannot see any reason we would want to leave. We love the area and house and it is in a beautiful location on the edge of a small village with decent amenities. I appreciate that this isn’t what everyone means when they talk about their forever home but this works for us

I'm.in my last normal house, next move will be something for an aging person to live in, maybe some type of supported living complex. Or a good residential care home. I am NOT sitting on my arse until I'm decrepit in this big house letting someone else figure it out.

My current home is my forever home. It only has 2 bedrooms! We can't all afford massive family homes in the first place!

@flashbac

Who wants to rattle around in a family home when the kids have left and you can no longer do the stairs? Are people intending on hogging a home too big for their needs until they die or am I missing something? What is a 'forever home'?

If you have bought your own home it doesn't matter whether it becomes too big for your needs in years to come. Hogging a home? It belongs to them! They are entitled to stay there until they are carried out in a box if they want to.

I actually think that when people talk about a 'forever home' they probably mean they are done with climbing the property ladder and have decided to stay put for the foreseeable future.

When I bought my house the estate agent said “oooh you’ve found your forever home!” I honestly thought she was taking the piss for a second because until then, I’d only ever heard the term in the context of rehoming a dog

Well perhaps if bungalows were not pulled down and two or three houses built in their place people would be more inclined to move. Or if McCarthy and Stone prices were more realistic for most.