Suddenly feel like a crap parent.

[Ceecee30]

I did not get them a toy advent calendar like many people have posted on Facebook. They have chocolate ones. They seem happy with that but what if their friends have the toy ones and they realise they don't?

We have an elf on the shelf but he isn't half as adventurous as some. He often just sits on the shelf so climbs on the lampshade. we didn't buy one of the fancy balloons people bought to welcome him back.

We don't have matching Christmas pjs.

I don't plan to do Christmas Eve boxes.

I haven't booked a Santa experience, a winter wonderland or any other things.

We do have our decs up. We have been out looking at neighbours lights the last few nights. Dd did see Santa at a winter fayre but it was a quick whip in and out grotto. We've been to look in the local garden centre which is amazing at Christmas.

They've got a fair amount of presents each on Christmas Day itself but is all the extra leading up to it essential?

Please tell I'm not the only one who doesn't do everything everyone else is doing?!

Social media is the devil. Making me feel like we don't do much in comparison.

You sound like a perfectly normal, level headed parent to me.
I won’t even subscribe to chocolate advent calendars. I am, of course, going to hell 😀

I love Christmas so much but I refuse to go into debt over it. My kids have fabric advent calendars that you fill yourself-most days have got a choc coin in with some token mini figs/hair accessories thrown in to mix it up. The youngest has a Peppa Pig book calendar that I got for £2 in Tesco last January. (Mainly because I can't be bothered to sew another advent calendar....) We've done the playmobil/lego/happyland calendars before and aside from setting me back £125 for five, I'd say they prefer their calendars this year.

We have an elf. He's lazy. Sometimes his magic doesn't work. At least twice in December he'll leave a note for the children telling them he's noticed their bedrooms aren't tidy, they're not helping enough with the chores, etc and that Santa wouldn't be happy. Works a treat every time!! Not a chance I would set something up and post it on fb - makes me cringe!

We don't have matching Christmas pjs. In fact they don't even have Christmas pjs full stops. I do give them a new set of pjs in their Christmas eve box as they always need new pairs and it encourages them to get ready for bed early. Their Christmas eve box usually consists of a couple of books from our bookshelf, gingerbread biscuits, choc coins, hot choc sachets and some poundshop bath bombs.

A couple of days before Christmas, Santa rides through town on his sleigh (pulled by a tractor) and his elves hand out presents to the children watching. Santa visit done!

Enjoy your Christmas, however you celebrate it!

Meh, I’m so bad at Christmas my five year old already knows Santa doesn’t exist.

Also over consumption is killing the planet, breeding kids who need constant novelty and gifts to keep them happy isn’t doing anyone any good.

There is really no need for all this bollocks. As you said OP, your dc seem perfectly happy with their chocolate advent calendars. You do Christmas your way. And don't for one minute think that people posting their Insta-perfect Christmas stuff are actually having a perfect Christmas. They've shoved their untidy stuff to the other end of the room out of shot, and probably bribed their stroppy dc to behave for 30 seconds for the photo!

Surely it's about balance? Of course you're not a crap parent for not doing these things, OP. You sound like a great Mum and I'm sure your DC will have a lovely Christmas. But I also really dislike the MN trend for heaping judgement on parents who do like to do these things. Yes, there are some ridiculously OTT examples of Christmas-related consumerism on social media but the vast majority of parents who have a Christmas Eve box for their DC or do Elf on the Shelf don't take it to that extreme. I also hate the MN threads that pop up every December where smug posters congratulate themselves on buying their DC a book and a satsuma each for Christmas although they could afford to spend much more (they always emphasise this!) and insist that any child who gets more than a couple of presents is going to grow up to be a spoiled, ungrateful brat.

People just need to focus on enjoying their own lives and being at peace with their own decisions without obsessing about what others are doing. Unfortunately, social media actively invites and encourages competition and comparison.

Been a parent 13 years and the one thing I can say is yes, lots of people ramp things up and up and up and up.....not just at Christmas but I think this time of year it’s very obvious. I agree social media is part of the problem. I disagree with PP that we shouldn’t criticise others’ parenting, because I think we are collectively losing the plot and it makes people like OP feel like they are terrible parents. How many of these people who go massively over the top are genuinely thinking of their children’s happiness and well-being, rather than how it makes them feel or how they look on social media? Sorry to be cynical but I think not many. I think we have every right to question it as it can affect us all.

Op Ive never done almost any of the things you listed. I dont even put our decorations up until about 15th December. I never really told my Santa was real cos I hate lies so didnt want to lie to my kiddos. They picked up the idea at school and then figured out the truth when they were about 6.
And yet.......... Christmas is still absolutely awesome in our house. Favourite time of the year. No magic lost here - but also no overspending or lying to my kiddos.

Goodness, get off social media if it's making you feel like this. Of course you're not a bad parent. You're doing just great by the sounds of it!

I told the dds we are doing anti land fill this year and they can have a voucher instead of items in the advent calendar. They are thrilled with this idea.

I'm not doing a sodding balloon

My DC are autistic and learning disabled and one couldn't care less and the other usually actively hates Christmas. I used to get sad about 'missing out' on the stuff you're 'supposed' to do but now I'm just relieved 😅

Also, what is the balloon?

Well I forgot the advent calendars this morning so they have had them after school. They only have chocolate ones, there is no elf, there will be no Christmas Eve box, the decorations won't go up until school finishes. I don't have social media so no pressure felt to do things differently either though which I think is a good thing.

I have someone like this on Facebook. Christmas cruise, Laplap trip, Blenheim lights trip, some kind of safari park, matching outfits, 2 advents calendars etc even for Halloween they had numerous trips and matching outfits.

And they also had an elf in a balloon this morning - but quite a small balloon which shocked me

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

My DC are autistic and learning disabled and one couldn't care less and the other usually actively hates Christmas. I used to get sad about 'missing out' on the stuff you're 'supposed' to do but now I'm just relieved 😅

Mine are both on the spectrum too. They never used to take much notice of anything when they were younger but Christmas had almost become an obsession for DS. Dd prefers Halloween 😅

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

Also, what is the balloon?

I'm not sure if it's just local to me but helium type balloons! Some of them have the elf inside or some separate. Along the lines of elf colours. I seen one today with a candy cane and two smaller balloons with the elf in it or in it!

We have an elf but he's so gorgeous that the kids sleep with him on an evening 🥰
I
always leave things too late to book and then think SH*T why didn't i book earlier but we have a lovely time regardless.

Do your own thing OP and the kids will love it x

If you are a terrible parent I am worse - my DS7 is having his first ever chocolate advent calendar this year because my MIL took pity on him, usually he only gets 20th century style pictures!

@BestZebbie I love the calendars with just pictures ... they are gorgeous ❤️
If fact that's what the kids are getting next year 👍

It really doesn't matter op I don't do all the things you mentioned and my kids have never minded , I've friends who do everything you mentioned and if it makes them and their kids happy there's no harm . Don't go on social media though comparing yourself to others it just spoils it for you

OP - oh no, would be way easier if they had a cheaper special interest!

@BestZebbie I was about 11 before I realised that other kids got chocolate calendars and not the same old picture one dragged out every year 😅 My sister and I genuinely used to fight over who got to open specific picture doors!!

I loathe the Elf on the bloody Shelf. I love that photo of the two dogs that don't look even the tiniest bit sorry, sitting by a brutally dismembered Elf. One dog is wearing a sign that says 'I ate the Elf On The Shelf'. The other dog has a sign that says, 'I helped because he is creepy'. Those are Good Boys.

Im sure your kids will have a lovely Christmas, OP. Really don't stress about all the tat and moneyspinners you're not buying for them.

Nearly all the stuff in your OP is part of the reason our planet is so fucked. Mindless unnecessary consumerism for kids who ultimately couldn't give a shit and mostly don't appreciate it anyway and would be just as happy with the bare minimum.

We don't do toy advent calendars (in fact I think most advent calendars are bloody awful, paying tonnes of money for stuff that you not only do not need, but mostly do not even want, and will end up in landfill), elf on the shelf, matching family pyjamas (they get Xmas pyjamas on Xmas eve which they then wear throughout the year), Xmas eve boxes full of tat that will be discarded by the following day or any of that shite. We have quite simple but consistent traditions that my kids seem to love (easily pleased thank god! 🤣)

Our Elf just moves about. They seem happy with that. They have one advent calendar with drawers between them. Will put Chocs in only. Why on earth would I want to get them more tat just before Christmas! That’s what Father Christmas is for. Mine get a new set of pjs on the first but nothing on Christmas Eve. Sometime we let them open one of their presents under the tree from family if we are at home in the evening.
I haven’t booked a proper Santa experience this year. Sure they will catch him a few times at local events.