Suddenly feel like a crap parent.

[Ceecee30]

I did not get them a toy advent calendar like many people have posted on Facebook. They have chocolate ones. They seem happy with that but what if their friends have the toy ones and they realise they don't?

We have an elf on the shelf but he isn't half as adventurous as some. He often just sits on the shelf so climbs on the lampshade. we didn't buy one of the fancy balloons people bought to welcome him back.

We don't have matching Christmas pjs.

I don't plan to do Christmas Eve boxes.

I haven't booked a Santa experience, a winter wonderland or any other things.

We do have our decs up. We have been out looking at neighbours lights the last few nights. Dd did see Santa at a winter fayre but it was a quick whip in and out grotto. We've been to look in the local garden centre which is amazing at Christmas.

They've got a fair amount of presents each on Christmas Day itself but is all the extra leading up to it essential?

Please tell I'm not the only one who doesn't do everything everyone else is doing?!

Social media is the devil. Making me feel like we don't do much in comparison.

We don't any of the commercial stuff...
We have a chocolate calendar and the dec's go up on Xmas Eve.
No Elf, no excessive stuff, ....and my kids have a lovely Christmas 😊
Each to their own.... Christmas is what you make it!

My fondest, most magical Christmas memories from the 1980s are the sheer excitement of the glitter and smell of tinsel, a party lunch at school and the smell of an orange with cloves at the Christingle.

Christmas has become so competitive abs everyone feels the need to 'do' Christmas bigger and better each year and it's simply not necessary.

@Wannakisstheteacher Halloween is the new bloody Xmas ! Pumpkin picking with lunch out (and pumpkin themed outfit), professional photo shoot on a hay bale, then the Halloween parties with various costumes, haunted farm/house trips, Harry Potter lights. We went to a friends who did do a really nice thing by decorating the house and letting the kids run about eating sweets. But the cost of some of my acquaintances activities must have been eye watering ! One thing I do love is when the town do a scarecrow trail, that is a fab tradition.

Don't compare yourself to others. Being a good parent isn't about how much you spend. No toy advent calendars here, just chocs. No elf on a shelf. No Santa visit. Kids will still have a wonderful Christmas.

Give them love, don't give them things. Honestly, it's not magical like the ads show, they'll feel guilty about all the stuff you've forked out for and feel stressed about.

Do simple things that you make with them. We cut up supermarket magazines and make Christmas dinner collages. Or draw father Christmas, make decorations out of junk etc. They remember you spending time with them.

I've got a friend who does all that stuff for her children - advent calendars with Lego, Christmas Eve boxes, matching pyjamas for all the family, Christmas bedding, and so it goes on. Every aspect of her entire life is posted on Facebook - the photos of the meals she cooks, the trips to the pub, etc. Madness, and very shallow.

My Grandchildren are well looked-after, but not spoilt. They were telling me earlier that their advent calendars their mum got this year had Lindt chocolates in them, and they were thrilled.

We have never done the elf and don't plan to start now (ds is 8!) I offered him

....a toy advent calendar but he turned it down for one with sweets! No Xmas Eve box or Xmas pj's either!

I did actually look at toy calendars month ago but they came to £80. I have 3 kids. I saw sense. Settled for 2 x Maltesers and 1 x peppa pig. Kids were so happy this morning. I don’t do elf on shelf or Xmas eve boxes or Xmas pj and bedding. Have my tree which kids loved putting up. My youngest 3 would actually be most happiest if I gave him an empty box. My 9 year old only asked for a new school bag and warm pyjamas. My 15 year old not yet decided. Been to a Xmas market and saw Santa. Nothing else booked. We’ve all said looking forward to playing games and seeing family.

Paper Advent calendar here

What is a Xmas box?!

They might get a hot chocolate at some point if I'm feeling festive

We have chocolate advent calenders. We have no elf on the shelf as its a pain in the face. We will be visiting Santa. The more my children get the more they want. The minute you buy them Xmas pjs they will receive a present of them from some one else. Don't waste your money on crappy commercialised tat and keep it for something you know you and they will enjoy over the Christmas holidays. We all succumb to the ideals that are on social media but we really shouldn't! Also there are too many crap parents around and not having matching pjs doesn't make you one x

It's just really odd that so many people on this thread have such strong and judgmental opinions towards what others choose to do for Christmas

The it's not done for children it's done for themselves comment is just bollocks - I don't plaster it online, I do it because I love that they still believe in all the magic and seeing their little faces is worth it all.

Honestly I couldn't give a flying fuck whatever anyone else does with their kids. I make a big deal, with MY time and MY money, that I earned myself - it's nobody else's problem, and the weirdly angry posts against how people
Choose to spend the season is frankly bizarre.

Go have a mince pie and calm the fuck down.

I never understand these posts.
Are you doing your best/what you think is right for your children? Then, why feel bad?
A toy advent calendar sounds like a nightmare tbh

From an environmental point of view your advent sounds far superior!

Ignore social media. Ignore the huns and instamums.

Do you love your children? Do they have presents on Christmas and birthday’s? Are they well fed, attended to, put to bed on time, read to, taken to the doctor and given lots of cuddles? If yes, then you’re an excellent parent.

Please don’t buy in to this ludicrous consumerist mindset. Toy advent calendars?! WTAT? By the time Christmas Day comes they’ll be totally jaded by already having so much new stuff!

We don’t do fancy advent calendars, Dec 1 boxes, Elf on the bloody Shelf or Christmas Eve boxes. Our decorations and tree aren’t up because it’s December the bloody 1st, and it’s Advent - not Christmas until the 25th!

We’re seeing Father Christmas at a nice place on 18th Dec and have been to see Stick Man at the theatre - but that’s it- no Santa special train rides, Kew Gardens light shows or 88 other ways to spend money. Why? Because Christmas is nothing to do with those things!

We’ll make Advent and Christmas special by seeing family and friends (Covid permitting), going to Christingle and Crib Services at church, taking hot chocolate out on country walks and saving the presents for Christmas Day and the following days until Epiphany.

You are not a bad parent. Please don’t worry about what other people do with their kids. I don’t. Life is too bloody short.

@lynntheyresexpeople what you do with your hard earned cash is, quite rightly, your business and no one else’s

I don’t feel bad for being slightly judgmental at people buying balloons that you literally pop straight away, having multiple toy advent calendars that get played with once, and pjs you wear twice. The world is quite literally burning and I just don’t think encouraging so much consumerism is good, don’t care if that makes me a grinch !!

Honestly reading your post makes me feel exhausted just thinking about all the Xmas activities.

Matching PJs in just crap consumerism
Expensive advent calendars full of bits of crap is the same
I’ve got no idea what an Xmas eve box is and I don’t want to know!!!

Bet you’ll have the best Xmas xxx

The Xmas Eve boxes are a joke unless it just has snacks and a Xmas dvd to watch. The pressure now is ridiculous. You're doing fine.

My DD is 10. She has a chocolate calendar and we have some Xmas movies / craft to do. We have last years Xmas jammies. I don’t know elves, Xmas eve boxes or much else. We were booked to see Safari park lights this week but she’s COVID positive so no longer going. I’m a great mum and she’s definitely not deprived!!

I did not bother with advent calendar this year even the chocolate ones (I know mean mummy), the elf is back in the home but he must be a lazy git as he hasn't move for the last two Days!!! No Christmas eve boxes in our house either.

Lots of it is just commercial!! A walk round the neighbourhood to look at lights, a chocolate in the calender and presents on the day are enough.
Kids who have everything don't experience the excitement of anticipation. It is what you make of it that matters.

It's all a bit much isn't it? Christmas isn't that good that I want to celebrate it for a whole month with multiple Santa visits and elves etc.

You sound completely normal to me!

We don't do any of those things, (xmas eve boxes/elf on the shelf etc...)but that doesn't mean Christmas isn't special.

Our is DD & she loves Xmas & has never asked about any if those things. I think Christmas is getting a bit ridiculous now. I'm sure none of us Mums had Xmas eve boxes & Xmas Pj's, but did that mean we didn't have a good time? Of course not, its just consumerism gone mad!!

Kids remember spending time with their parents/playing board games/watching Christmas movies/decorating the house. Are they really going to remember some tiny Lego figurine they got one in an advent calendar one year....I don't think so!

@Ceecee30

I did not get them a toy advent calendar like many people have posted on Facebook. They have chocolate ones. They seem happy with that but what if their friends have the toy ones and they realise they don't?

We have an elf on the shelf but he isn't half as adventurous as some. He often just sits on the shelf so climbs on the lampshade. we didn't buy one of the fancy balloons people bought to welcome him back.

We don't have matching Christmas pjs.

I don't plan to do Christmas Eve boxes.

I haven't booked a Santa experience, a winter wonderland or any other things.

We do have our decs up. We have been out looking at neighbours lights the last few nights. Dd did see Santa at a winter fayre but it was a quick whip in and out grotto. We've been to look in the local garden centre which is amazing at Christmas.

They've got a fair amount of presents each on Christmas Day itself but is all the extra leading up to it essential?

Please tell I'm not the only one who doesn't do everything everyone else is doing?!

Social media is the devil. Making me feel like we don't do much in comparison.

Jeeze its only 1st Dec op. Chillax! Xxx

Comfort yourself knowing I'm doing none of those things. And not because I don't think they sound nice, but because I keep forgetting that Christmas is coming (partly because I've never liked it much, I imagine). My son loves me to read the santa in Enfield book and we talk about Christmas happily, and I've bought his present. That's it 🤷‍♀️😅 I will probably go hunting for the decorations by Christmas eve. So, you could be worse, you could be me 😁 probably will forget to wrap presents until Christmas morning