Suddenly feel like a crap parent.

[Ceecee30]

I did not get them a toy advent calendar like many people have posted on Facebook. They have chocolate ones. They seem happy with that but what if their friends have the toy ones and they realise they don't?

We have an elf on the shelf but he isn't half as adventurous as some. He often just sits on the shelf so climbs on the lampshade. we didn't buy one of the fancy balloons people bought to welcome him back.

We don't have matching Christmas pjs.

I don't plan to do Christmas Eve boxes.

I haven't booked a Santa experience, a winter wonderland or any other things.

We do have our decs up. We have been out looking at neighbours lights the last few nights. Dd did see Santa at a winter fayre but it was a quick whip in and out grotto. We've been to look in the local garden centre which is amazing at Christmas.

They've got a fair amount of presents each on Christmas Day itself but is all the extra leading up to it essential?

Please tell I'm not the only one who doesn't do everything everyone else is doing?!

Social media is the devil. Making me feel like we don't do much in comparison.

I work in a nursery and had loads of parents telling me today their children were disappointed with the toy calendars and just wanted to normal chocolate ones like everyone else!

The same goes with presents, children who receive a constant barrage of gifts really miss the meaning of Christmas and being happy or excited over the little things!

You're doing the best thing for your children by not participating in the ever grosser Christmas consumerism that'll leave them with a totally fucked up planet!

I love doing all the stuff you’ve mentioned. It’s not going to be forever that my son believes ( he’s 10) and I want to make the most of doing everything fun I can . Mind you in my case my son also has autism adhd and learning difficulties , reason I mention this is because he has severe behavioural problems and is likely to have to go into residential schooling at some point . He’s currently 2:1 at all times . It just makes me very aware of the time I have with him at home with me .

I don’t compare what I do with anyone else if I want to take him to 5 Santa experiences I will . He’s gone through over 10 advent calendars already as opens all the doors at once . I’m doing the light show at Alton towers next week , breckfast with Santa Xmas eve , Santa safari , Santa in the garden centre etc I do these as I find them fun

Don’t worry about what others do be happy with your own decision , for me I get a lot of enjoyment out of these things . I’m told I do too much but it’s my decision

@Ceecee30

I did not get them a toy advent calendar like many people have posted on Facebook. They have chocolate ones. They seem happy with that but what if their friends have the toy ones and they realise they don't?

We have an elf on the shelf but he isn't half as adventurous as some. He often just sits on the shelf so climbs on the lampshade. we didn't buy one of the fancy balloons people bought to welcome him back.

We don't have matching Christmas pjs.

I don't plan to do Christmas Eve boxes.

I haven't booked a Santa experience, a winter wonderland or any other things.

We do have our decs up. We have been out looking at neighbours lights the last few nights. Dd did see Santa at a winter fayre but it was a quick whip in and out grotto. We've been to look in the local garden centre which is amazing at Christmas.

They've got a fair amount of presents each on Christmas Day itself but is all the extra leading up to it essential?

Please tell I'm not the only one who doesn't do everything everyone else is doing?!

Social media is the devil. Making me feel like we don't do much in comparison.

You sound sorted! Social Media is BULSHIT. Delete it. Honest, deleting Fakebook was the best decision I ever made.

Delete social media, it's clearly making you miserable.

God knows. I absolutely despair at how dim some people can be. Why throw money at ridiculous nonsense instead of saving for a rainy day?

Mine don’t have any advent calendar.
We have a grateful tree
We do a reverse advent calendar for a local food bank
We aren’t doing any visits to Santa except a free one at a local village church.
We are going to two free fayres
We’ll put up our tree next week
They have a stocking on Christmas Day and a couple of presents.

They are totally delighted and happy.

I refuse to believe Christmas is only any good if you drive yourself insane/very poor in the process.

Personally I do far less buying " Christmas stuff" and more experiences like light trails, Santa train etc. So if I had social media I imagine I would feel the same OP. I'd rather make memories than have a house full of plastic crap.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

Just because you don’t do them doesn’t mean other people don’t do them for their kids and so they can see their kids or grandkids enjoy them. Kids love Elf on the shelf - just because “I never had it as a kid” doesn’t mean it’s bad.

Thank you @CactusLemonSpice. I'm ok really. I know I will get through this, I have to. Sadly, I have all too much experience. Up until this year, I've been at home as a carer for DS2. Now, I'm working but still no better off financially (lost Universal Credit, Carer's Allowance & paying out for childcare & transport). So I know all the tricks - we hardly ever pay for clothes, stockings are all pound shops & charity shops (this year Primark from a gift card I was given for my birthday). Sadly the DC are getting more expensive as they get older (13, 10,7) & it's more important to get certain things. They are good though & DS1 understands that if he wants certain trainers he has to put his own money towards them after a certain amount.

I am trying to sell things on Marketplace but having no luck. Also doing surveys but only earning about £1/day as have less time due to working!

Get off social media

We do none of this either, please don’t worry. Read the wonderful thread from a few days ago about the memories people treasure from childhood Christmas’. They were, almost exclusively, about welcoming family, food related, small traditions, family films / games. It wasn’t advent calendars, presents, extravagance. Ok, there was less of that 20 years ago, but there was some and it just didn’t feature in what people remembered. It was so heartening to read. X

I knew when I saw the title this would turn into a bashing anyone who does the opposite to you thread.

You're not a bad parent because you don't do those things. Your children don't know any different. It's up to you how you do Christmas.

I do everything you said and that so many people think is "OTT" and "ridiculous" - im not a bad parent because I enjoy doing those things for my children. I don't put it on social media, I do it because I want to, and they love it.

Parents who put it on social media are not bad parents either, that's up to them. Anyone who doesn't like it can just not look at it.

Be happy and present in your own lives rather than worrying about what everyone else does.

Be happy and present in your own lives rather than worrying about what everyone else does.

Exactly

Be comfortable in your own decisions. You've made them after all.

@User5252727

You know Elf on the Shelf is just a toy you stick places right? It’s no harder to do that putting up stockings or other decorations. Once upon a time nobody put up stockings either yet you bought into that because it was happening when you were a kid.

No we don’t do any of those (I love the traditional little picture window advent calendars) except new PJs on Christmas Eve. They always need them for Christmas anyway so recently bumped it forward to after bath on Christmas Eve as part of the general excitement.

Social media is the devil. No child needs all that crap, it's just advertising and parental guilt/oneupmanship.

Little kids get overwhelmed so easily and the pressure for them to react in a certain way and be so grateful is actually quite sad. I think they'd rather you sat with them and spent some time doing some Christmas crafts and baking with carols on over the next few weeks. That's what they're going to remember, not an advent calendar full of plastic rubbish that will be in landfill by New Year.

Having said that I can't wait to take my four year old to see Santa, such a brilliant age for Christmas

I’m the same as you OP - none of the above either! Don’t feel bad, we’re the normal ones.

I purposefully bought advent calendars this year that are paper / picture ones. We actually do have a box one with drawers, though DC young enough to not remember it from the last couple of years.

I’m getting really sick of seeing more and more commercialisation/spending/pressure to make all these simple Christmas traditions bigger and “better” every year. I realised I’d been sucked into it - what child needs a tiny gift every day in the run up to Christmas? In the past I didn’t do just gifts, but also little messages of activities etc (eg today we’re buying the Christmas tree blah blah). But everyone has jumped on the bandwagon. I don’t need to spend hours crafting little notes about things we’ll do anyway and that the kids will enjoy. We’re just creating huge (and growing) expectation from them and I don’t think a parent’s main job is to continually find new ways to entertain and delight them every two minutes.

By all means have your own little traditions - but I think social media is making it all a little bit ridiculous.

I don't do most of that either, my childhood Christmasses were magical and special and exciting in the late 90s/early 2000s without any of these extras so I don't worry too much (I totally get that traditions change over time though). I find the planning and organising enough without having to sort out December 1st North Pole breakfast and Christmas Eve boxes etc so just stick without

Wow whole lot of grinches up in here.
Just because you “never had it when you were a kid and you loved Christmas” doesn’t mean it’s bad - I’m sure a lot of people in generations before you didn’t have the presents you got, or the fancy decorations or loads of things you got yet for some reason if it happened when you were a kid it was perfect and everything added after is “too much”.

People calm down - Elf on the Shelf is a fucking toy you buy once and hide for fun, it takes literally like a minute of your day and it doesn’t blow up if you don’t post in on Facebook! Ever go to see Christmas lights? That right there is more time consuming than elf on the shelf and the lights cost more too.

I think grumpy people just complain at whatever all year round.

“Facebook pictures of Christmas are all about competition” (no and the people who post them would probably rather people like those who think that didn’t snoop on them and judge)

“Elf on the Shelf is consumerism gone mad!”

Give me an Elf lovin break.

If you feel you are a crap parent for not doing that stuff then do it.

Alternatively March to your own tune and you do you.

But this post seems a bit like you are judging the people that do want to do all that stuff, but they are just doing them.

Personally we do some it (Eve box, bedding pjs, enlighten walk) and I’m happy with that.

I don’t walk around lights, that sounds really nice, so I’ll add that to the list to do!’

Social media is the devil. What you're doing is fine. If we all did the same it woul be a boring world. Unfriend or Unfollow people who made you feel a bit blah or better still come off. Have a lovely Christmas and do it your way 🍾🥂🎉🎅

@lynntheyresexpeople

Ikr? Like nobody forces people to snoop on Facebook and judge people for enjoying Christmas with their kids or grandkids.
Putting Elf on the Shelf isn’t any harder than a bunch of Christmas stuff, takes like one minute to do, yet because it wasn’t around “when they were a kid” it must be bad.

Lol at everyone on this thread acting like they’re poor in 1850 or something - they probably had and enjoyed loads of things at Christmas when they were kids that didn’t exist before their generation that other people thought were “too much”.

I’m 43 and when I hear women my age moaning about how Christmas is too commercial like they grew up in the 40’s it cracks me up. It’s like Christmas was commercial when we were young too bitches!

Don't do most of these either. I have to say I find the elf in pretty bad taste (sorry) it is so ugly/cheap looking and also don't do the Santa watching thing. Generally it's a bit sinister all round. Dd has never mentioned, not sure what I'll say if she asks 😬

Matching pjs similarly I find a bit cringe/contrived. We don't visit Santas as often they're crap and dd is at the age where she might start to question, I don't want to push my luck tbh! I think I prefer the Father Christmas thing to be more child's imagination based magic than really plugging the lie if that makes sense.

I'd consider doing any of these if they were led by my children but certainly not just cos everyone else is doing them.

Have done a lights walk around as have been before and it's brilliantly done so is worthwhile, and I do have an old wooden box I put seasonal books in periodically year round, but don't generally put tat in it. Only buy Xmas pjs if we need some & they're lovely ones which I know dc will wear post Xmas too.

Make your own family traditions I say!