Annoyed by my friends comment tonight...

[Tomato345]

My best friend of 11 years and I occasionally have our disagreements but I love her like a sister, however a comment she made tonight has really pissed me off and has made her look like a snob imo.

We were with our kids, talking about different careers as we've both recently changed jobs, when her eldest son announced that he wanted to be a bin man when he's older. Friend turned to him and said "aim a little higher please" and started laughing. I made a comment about how bin men earn a pretty decent wage (in our area at least) and that the perks of working for the council, such as weekends off/decent pension etc are good. She was adamant that it's a shit job and that the only reason someone would do it is if they didn't have any qualifications. It certainly came across that she would be embarrassed if her son ever becomes one.

Her reaction was the same last year when her partner showed an interest in becoming a HGV driver, so it's not the first time this has happened. I'm not sure why it's got my back up, maybe because I use to be a delivery driver and now I work for a cleaning company, so I'm wondering what she thinks of me as I would say those types of jobs are linked. We both only want the best for our kids at the end of the day, but what's wrong with it if it makes someone happy and provides them a living? Perhaps I could understand her point if she was earning mega bucks herself, but she earns minimum wage, which is actually less than what a bin man earns...

A job is a job in my eyes, but I'm not sure if I'm being sensitive or not. After all, we're all allowed to have an opinion... so AIBU?

Completely agree with you. Happiness and healthy mind comes first, I’ve had jobs in finance that are higher paid than my minimum wage care support worker role and I still wouldn’t change a thing because of how much i love my job and i would want the same for my child so id support whatever theyd like to do (as long as its legal )

All taken much too seriously. Kids will come up with all kind of I retesting future jobs based on what they find fascinating at the time. The likelihood they end up doing that particular job is very low.

Not worth questioning a friendship over this.

@MaintainTheMolehill

There's a big difference between how you feel about a job and how you feel about your child doing that job. I wouldn't choose it for my kids but also wouldn't look down on someone doing it.

That's a bit contradictory. It's good enough for other people but not your kids...?

I think her comment is a bad message to her child about where she considers bin men to be in the hierarchy too.

I feel sorry for the children of some of you on this thread. Obviously being happy doing something they might enjoy isn't nearly as important as having high aspirations. Many a person has been miserable trying to live up to their parents' expectations.

Meanwhile, you are more than happy for other people's children to do the work not good enough for yours.

@Birdsnesting
Yes. But what about having your health wrecked by stress? High blood pressure? Heart attack?

YANBU. I don't think laughing at his aspirations is the best course of actions and clearly there is something about the job he likes the look of. Probably as an 8 year old though it is driving the big van he likes the look of. My MIL was a terrible snob when it came to jobs. My BIL was very academic and my DH less so. He was and is very practical but my MIL seemed quite ashamed he went into engineering, first as an apprentice then on day release to do qualifications and she kept trying to say he should have gone into an office job like his brother even though DH loved his job and BIL hated his and got made redundant several times. DH also earned way more and had a better pension and more autonomy. People are funny about judging other people's career choices.

I’m worried about this automated service grabbing small children off the streets

A relative works for the local council (in Ireland). He started off in a job similar to a bin man, worked his way up to inspector in waste management and on 80+ a year, nó qualifications needed except his vast experience and knowledge. General operatives starting out are on around 30, with increments due every year. Good regular overtime, Very good pension. Finished in time for the school run, good holidays and sick days. And works with a great bunch of lads.

Its a good decent job, and shouldn't be knocked.

My brother wanted to be a sewer man when he was a kid, to wear big wellies and paddle through the sewage (he's a lawyer now).

I think you're a bit oversensitive. Neither of my parents had a chance to go to university or even finish secondary school but they wanted much better for me. My mother made it plain that there were three possible degrees/careers that were acceptable for her - medicine, accounting, and law. A science degree would also have been acceptable I think. I was good academically so they weren't unreasonable choices.

I did law (which I have enjoyed), married the scientist and my eldest son is doing medicine. I have selected an alternative career for my youngest - based on his interests and not being as academic as the eldest - and he is off at university. I am very grateful for my mother pushing me and talking me out of my own rather dubious choice of journalism. My son thinks it was his idea to do medicine and he forgets who suggested it initially. (Maybe grandma muttered it over his crib too.) My youngest is happy with the degree choice and enjoys it. There is nothing wrong with guiding your children into something compatible with their talents and interests.

I worked every summer holiday as a student and discovered how hard some lower status jobs were. Some were factory jobs and they were hard work. I am unashamed in wanting something better for my children.

@ClaudiaJ1 - that's how wheelie bins are emptied in NZ too. As I mentioned in another post, people are quite happy to do the job, and why wouldn't they be, it's hardly manual labour.

My son thinks it was his idea to do medicine and he forgets who suggested it initially That's a bit sinister, IMO.

@BlueFlavour

Why *@TrickyD*? Why is that perceived as ‘better’?

It is better as far as I am concerned to have an intelligent trained surgeon operating on me than a random bodybuilder who has wandered in from the refuse department.

But why would you prefer your dc to have a professional rather than manual job?

[quote cherrytree63]**@ClaudiaJ1 different councils have different methods.
Where I live we the bin men walk along the street putting the wheelie bins on the tipper plate. Where my son works the residents leave their rubbish curbside in black bin bags. Some of the team run ahead and "lump" them in piles for the loaders to chuck in the back.
My son doesn't have to leave his cab but sometimes does to speed things up.
Tipping the lorry can take time, sometimes the queue can take an hour, sometimes he has to tip in the morning before going out.
No automated service anywhere I've lived![/quote]
That is how it is done here too. Only the driver remains in the cab. A team of something like 3 or 4 others leave it and load wheelie bins onto the lifting gear at the back of the truck (not on the side, as in that video). The machine then lifts the bins two at a time and tips the contents into the back of the truck.

I am in Essex in the UK. I don't think we are particularly backward. Obviously I don't know the systems in all parts of the UK. But for the several areas I do visit that is the system I see.

Maybe @ClaudiaJ1 is not in the UK. Us having different systems though doesn't make us backward.

OP, I see where you are coming from. Nobody should disparage other people's jobs. Bin men are much needed, and we'd all be in trouble if nobody was willing to do the job.

The child here is 8 years old. He might chop and change dozens of times over the next 10 years. His mother should tone her comments down. There are ways to encourage consideration of different options without snobbery and without belittling his ideas.

[quote BlueFlavour]@Birdsnesting
Yes. But what about having your health wrecked by stress? High blood pressure? Heart attack?[/quote]
It’s not an either/or situation, though. Not all jobs that aren’t physically strenuous involve intense psychological stress, and some combine both — look at farmers.

And I’d venture to say that that type of stress can and should be managed (with care) in a way that the physical damage from a lifetime of lugging bins/bricks around can’t, especially if you’re poor. DF and DFIL both have chronic pain from serious back problems, and DF has horrible problems with his hands — all his fingers were crushed in an industrial accident in the 80s.

I think most people would be a little aghast at this TBH .Nothing wrong with Binmen pa se .but not really a rewarding Career is it?

This thread is bloody ridiculous. So many people bickering about what constitutes a respectable job. How about everyone worries about their own kids and stops worrying about what other people's kids aspire (or not) to be.

I think because it’s damaging to feel that people who work in manual jobs are somehow lesser than people who don’t.

As for the ‘sewer man’ comments, my friend manages a waste water treatment site and is on big bucks, she has a very very comfortable life, working in water treatment can be lucrative so nothing to look down on. You can even be a lawyer for water companies

@BlueFlavour hugely agree. I work with lads on vocational courses doing bricklaying, tiling etc. at 21 they’re the ones earning the money with no debt whilst sixth forms are pushing for any and all uni place to be taken, even some random college that became a uni two years ago, just to say their students go and get degrees.

Surely the correct course of action here would be to encourage the 8 year old to prepare for his career by picking up any rubbish on the floor and putting it in the bin...

Not really the point but lots of highly educated people decide to do jobs that need few or no qualifications
So let's not judge and make assumptions based on how they earn a living
We all just want to see our kids happy

YANBU at all OP. Children should be encouraged to respect others and the contributions they make to the world. I also think we should respond positively when they discuss their ideas for their futures. I don't think that your friend has done either and I'd be a bit taken aback if one of my friends was so negative and snobby.

He's 8 years old, he is unlikely to continue to want to be a bin man but probably thinks its cool to drive a truck with loads of flashing lights and a big mechanical crusher on the back. It is pretty cool tbh.

@BlokeHereInPeace

Surely the correct course of action here would be to encourage the 8 year old to prepare for his career by picking up any rubbish on the floor and putting it in the bin...

^^This! 🤣🤣