Annoyed by my friends comment tonight...

[Tomato345]

My best friend of 11 years and I occasionally have our disagreements but I love her like a sister, however a comment she made tonight has really pissed me off and has made her look like a snob imo.

We were with our kids, talking about different careers as we've both recently changed jobs, when her eldest son announced that he wanted to be a bin man when he's older. Friend turned to him and said "aim a little higher please" and started laughing. I made a comment about how bin men earn a pretty decent wage (in our area at least) and that the perks of working for the council, such as weekends off/decent pension etc are good. She was adamant that it's a shit job and that the only reason someone would do it is if they didn't have any qualifications. It certainly came across that she would be embarrassed if her son ever becomes one.

Her reaction was the same last year when her partner showed an interest in becoming a HGV driver, so it's not the first time this has happened. I'm not sure why it's got my back up, maybe because I use to be a delivery driver and now I work for a cleaning company, so I'm wondering what she thinks of me as I would say those types of jobs are linked. We both only want the best for our kids at the end of the day, but what's wrong with it if it makes someone happy and provides them a living? Perhaps I could understand her point if she was earning mega bucks herself, but she earns minimum wage, which is actually less than what a bin man earns...

A job is a job in my eyes, but I'm not sure if I'm being sensitive or not. After all, we're all allowed to have an opinion... so AIBU?

[EightWheelGirl]

There are plenty of “office jobs” with a bit more autonomy than “choose what time you have lunch”!

No doubt.

When I was in proposal management I could choose what days I worked from home for the most part, but it still always felt more restrictive in general. Most of the time now I'm just cruising along listening to Spotify and it doesn't really feel like I'm working at all. Very little interaction with other people aside from when I'm onsite for 20 mins at a time.

With most office jobs I've had, you're constantly busy with a long list of stuff to do.

[MasterBeth]

@EightWheelGirl

What fucking autonomy do you have as a bin person?

I’m guessing they meant autonomy as being left to get on with it.

My mate is on a different round every day and it’s up to the loader (bin man) who usually does that route to navigate and tell him where to go. They get given a sheet of jobs and off they go. It’s up to them which order they do them in as long as they all get done and they can decide where and when they want to stop for a break or lunch etc.

It’s different from an office job in that you’re out there all day with your loader/driver’s mate and don’t have to deal with a team or have your boss breathing down your neck.

There are plenty of “office jobs” with a bit more autonomy than “choose what time you have lunch”!

[CrankyFrankie]

@WalkingOnTheCracks agreed. I was very serious about being a window cleaner for a while and a pudding taster for the Queen. Don't remember my parents feeling the need to piss on my chips over either vocation!

[WalkingOnTheCracks]

At various points in his childhood, my eldest son wanted to be a bus driver, a clown, a footballer, an astronaut, a vet, a tramp, a Power Ranger, a skateboarder, a pearldiver and a stegosaurus.

I don’t remember say anything other than ‘super!’ until he got to about 16. Why would you?

[Ciaram55]

Bin men are over worked and underpaid imo. Their workload has increased dramatically since covid and less crew members assigned to each lorry because of cut backs. I certainly don't think they're paid enough. The speed they have to work at is ridiculous. Perhaps your friend wants her son to get a job which isn't so physically demanding and unappreciated.

[Mothership4two]

@Hankunamatata

My DF used to say similar, but funnily enough he'd say "then if you want to go and be a binman you can be a binman if that's what you really want to do". I decided not to go down that route

My DS's ambition at primary school was to be an HGV driver, so he could take the family plus pets with him on his jobs. Still makes me smile.

[EightWheelGirl]

What fucking autonomy do you have as a bin person?

I’m guessing they meant autonomy as being left to get on with it.

My mate is on a different round every day and it’s up to the loader (bin man) who usually does that route to navigate and tell him where to go. They get given a sheet of jobs and off they go. It’s up to them which order they do them in as long as they all get done and they can decide where and when they want to stop for a break or lunch etc.

It’s different from an office job in that you’re out there all day with your loader/driver’s mate and don’t have to deal with a team or have your boss breathing down your neck.

[EightWheelGirl]

My mate drives the recycling wagons for Biffa on the trade waste and is earning about £45k.

[EightWheelGirl]

I’m a HGV driver and love earning £40k without any office bullshit. Hardly ever speak to my manager and just get left to do my round which is great after being micro managed in my office days and having to constantly keep up appearances.

I’m listening to Spotify and talking to my mates on hands free for most of the day and have to briefly stop every 90 mins or so and pour some mortar for about ten mins. If I went onto retail deliveries I could easily earn £50k+ but I find them dull.

[Dibbydoos]

Sorry all these posts about aiming higher than a bin man are just snobby! I was a waste regulator in my early career and there are graduates who are bin men - they liked the job cos of the hours, holidays, final salary pension, decent wage and they are looked after ref health and safety. You can't say the same for every job!
We spend do much time in work that we should do what we enjoy and if thats what he'd like to do at the mo, then fine! Tgere's tome for him to change his mind.

BTW HGV drivers are now being offered £50k pa. I think that's suddenly become better than just a job, don't you?

Honestly OP your mate sounds a bit high maintenance, if I was her partner I'd be a HGV driver do I'm nit home very often, lol!

[BrownEyedBiscuit2716]

What does it matter what job her son has, so long as he is happy? If that is the way she responds to stuff like that, then he's going to have the sense that he'll never be/do anything good enough to her! I feel really sorry for that child!

[Bluntness100]

I also think you’re being unreasonable. Nothing wrong with being a bin man but it’s not aspirational.

[Hankunamatata]

How many people aim to be Bin
People when they are in high school?

[Hankunamatata]

On the fence. Family are lorry drivers and it isnt the best job tbh and most are stuck as only skills/qualifications they have are their licenses. My family constantly tell my kids to get their qualifications then if they want to be hgv drivers do it as they want them to have as many options as possible.

[ManicPixie]

@divface

She just said out loud what we were all thinking

Speak for yourself.

Personally I’d have said nothing as A) it makes that kind of snobbery seem ok and B) the child will invariably change its mind about careers anyway.

[BridStar]

Picking low paid work that 'makes you happy' is how people end up in chronic poverty.

Work hard, get educated and seek high paid positions. Sorry, but that's the only way to keep a roof over your head.

My mother encouraged me to work in a shop. That was it. She couldn't even imagine a better job. This was in the 90s. Completely boggles my mind she didn't want to tell her kids to be engineers or technicians or surgeons. Her kids all have far better jobs and she seems to really hate it, to be honest, sneering she doesn't understand what we do and it all sounds like 'messing about'.

[CactusLemonSpice]

@claymodels

It's a shit job though - why would anyone want their child to aspire to being a bin man?

You say that, but there was a thread here a while ago about what kids wanted to be when they grew up. Bin man was the clear winner. Not sure why so popular with kids. Perhaps cos they get to ride in a truck?

[weesingersco]

““Aim a little higher” and starts laughing?”
Yeah, you’re not being unreasonable, she sounds like a really unpleasant snob, and she’s teaching her children to look down on essential workers. These are part of the teams people who were out during the pandemic, who we were so grateful for. How fast some people forget.
If my kid was wanting to be a bin man, I’d be fine with that. My dad was one for a while. It’s steady, it’s not bad wages, it’s work. We’re not all cut out for uni and office based careers, and if it suits, it suits. There’s more to life than just work. Fulfilment can come from elsewhere, and with holidays and decent pay they’ll have time and means to find it.

[BruhWhy]

I'll encourage my children to get the best education they're capable of - it's up to them what they do with it after that. Whether it's a bin man or a dentist. I'm sure when it comes to it your friend will support any career her child chooses.

She might've put it in a different way, but it was a throwaway comment you've thought way too hard about.

[Porcupineintherough]

Yeah how could a mother wish for more for her son than a life of hard manual labour. Who the fuck does she think she is.

I come from an immigrant background where manual labour is what your parents do so you dont have to. The talk usually starts "I didnt spend all those years working two jobs so you could [insert undesirable activity here].." and this is considered good parenting.

[josbd]

Many years ago, my bro left school with 4 A levels. And immediately applied for, and got a job as a bin man. Obv this did not go down at all well with my mother. Nevertheless, at that time it suited him. Years later, he ended up in a very senior position in industry and has just retired.

Each to their own, and whatever suits someone at various times of their lives.

[Mothership4two]

I had a friend who met and dated someone she really clicked with but dropped him as soon as he told her he was a "bin man". Another friend's boyfriend (and now husband) was a "bin man" and other friends really struggled to understand why she would go out with him. So sadly they are looked down on. He loved his job BTW

Saying that, I wouldn't particularly want my ds doing that job, but would have been a bit more tactful about saying it.

[Bertiebiscuit]

Such snobbery from so many - just be grateful that so many men and women don't sneer at jobs like taking away our rubbish, cleaning our streets and toilets, wiping the arses and snotty noses of the very young and very old, otherwise the rest of us couldnt carry on with "aiming higher"

[BustyLaRoux]

Birdsnesting I did it for a summer when I was a student. It was through an agency. The jobs they had were pretty shitty generally. Stuffing envelopes (argh, the paper cuts!), the abattoir (enough said!), hospital laundry (grim)…. The bins was their top job!