Annoyed by my friends comment tonight...

[Tomato345]

My best friend of 11 years and I occasionally have our disagreements but I love her like a sister, however a comment she made tonight has really pissed me off and has made her look like a snob imo.

We were with our kids, talking about different careers as we've both recently changed jobs, when her eldest son announced that he wanted to be a bin man when he's older. Friend turned to him and said "aim a little higher please" and started laughing. I made a comment about how bin men earn a pretty decent wage (in our area at least) and that the perks of working for the council, such as weekends off/decent pension etc are good. She was adamant that it's a shit job and that the only reason someone would do it is if they didn't have any qualifications. It certainly came across that she would be embarrassed if her son ever becomes one.

Her reaction was the same last year when her partner showed an interest in becoming a HGV driver, so it's not the first time this has happened. I'm not sure why it's got my back up, maybe because I use to be a delivery driver and now I work for a cleaning company, so I'm wondering what she thinks of me as I would say those types of jobs are linked. We both only want the best for our kids at the end of the day, but what's wrong with it if it makes someone happy and provides them a living? Perhaps I could understand her point if she was earning mega bucks herself, but she earns minimum wage, which is actually less than what a bin man earns...

A job is a job in my eyes, but I'm not sure if I'm being sensitive or not. After all, we're all allowed to have an opinion... so AIBU?

[Tilltheend99]

I would never denigrate anyone else’s job in front of a child as it is a terrible example of how to treat people.

Majority of people will end up in boring normal jobs regardless of how high they aim. Being a bin collector is probably a lot more interesting than working in an office.

[divface]

She just said out loud what we were all thinking

[FirewomanSam]

I wouldn’t be impressed with this, because it’s basically encouraging her kids to think of bin men as ‘lower’ than other jobs.

Fair enough if you want to say ‘don’t you want to do something more fun’ or ‘you might not make very much money doing that’ or whatever, but ‘aim higher’ is very snobby and encourages the attitude that a job can be ‘higher’ or ‘lower’ than another job and I don’t like that at all.

[CrankyFrankie]

I agree with you OP. i absolutely detest snobs and snobbery. Our bin collectors do a fantastic job; one that makes the world go round when someone else would think they're 'too good' for it and take benefits instead. I know someone who did it as a job before he went to uni and he got treated like sh!t. I laud them to my kids, we jump out of bed when we hear the lorry coming and wave out the window, so one of them will probably tell me he wants to be one before long! and i'd say 'well as long as you do your best, you can do anything'.

[MasterBeth]

@LaurieFairyCake

I don't think it's that shit a job - there's so much worse than that

Retail and hospitality are MUCH worse than refuse collector as there's so little autonomy and you have to work face to face with the nobhead public

My bin men are great and have loads of autonomy and they're always having a great laugh - ditto my postie. Both jobs with loads of autonomy.

What fucking autonomy do you have as a bin person?

“I thought I’d use next week to begin mapping out how we can improve the way we empty bins in the electric vehicle future. There’s some really surprising parallels with the way that the Japanese fishing industry is transitioning their fleet to be more climate-aware, so I’m going to book some research time over there, speak to some people, stuff like that… What do you think?”

“I think maybe just keep wheeling the bins towards the bin lorry, emptying them into the bin lorry, then wheel them back from the bin lorry to where you got them.”

[MasterBeth]

@thenewduchessofhastings

If you need a job to put a roof over your head and food on the table then a job is a job.I hate it when people look down their nose's at manual labour;if it wasn't for people prepared to do it then the economy would collapse and people would soon be moaning about not getting x,y&z.

My son wants to join army in an entry level position without a degree;would there be something wrong with that too?

Yes, he might get shot dead.

[Kteeb1]

I agree with you . There's a world of difference between encouraging your children to be the best they can be and putting down other workers. Bin men do essential work as anyone who was alive during bin strike can testify. You may want more for your kids but you can do that and teach them to respect others.

[BustyLaRoux]

I used to work as a “bin woman” (I would prefer we didn’t always refer to them as “bin men” please). It was decent money and it kept me fit. On the other side it was smelly and often chauvinistic. So I don’t look down on it, but it’s not what I would wish for my kids. Im not too proud to do manual labour. What a ridiculous notion! But I have my MSc and I would like to pursue a career along those lines. That said if my child expressed a wish to work in the bins then I would never make out they were too good for a job like that, but I would tell them it’s hard graft and the money is good, but not great. I’m not snobby about it though. It’s hard work and someone has to do it. Actually it was quite fun at times!!

[Birdsnesting]

@BustyLaRoux

I used to work as a “bin woman” (I would prefer we didn’t always refer to them as “bin men” please). It was decent money and it kept me fit. On the other side it was smelly and often chauvinistic. So I don’t look down on it, but it’s not what I would wish for my kids. Im not too proud to do manual labour. What a ridiculous notion! But I have my MSc and I would like to pursue a career along those lines. That said if my child expressed a wish to work in the bins then I would never make out they were too good for a job like that, but I would tell them it’s hard graft and the money is good, but not great. I’m not snobby about it though. It’s hard work and someone has to do it. Actually it was quite fun at times!!

How long did you do it for, @BustyLaRoux? Family members’ experience predates wheelie bins, so it was brutally hard work, but perhaps less so now? Though certainly when I was living in a village in the Midlands only a few years ago (with a toddler who adored bin lorries), the crusher moved quite fast and the crew were actually running between hiuses. There was a new guy on our route who looked as if he was going to fall down on the road for the first while, but he clearly soon got pretty fit.

[CherryBlossomAutumn]

Ha ha at the posts that say ‘don’t look down on bin man/women’ but would NEVER do the job in a million years!

[Mummabear89]

My 4 year old said that he wanted to be a bin truck driver. This is fine for me as like you said a job is a job but there is nothing wrong with believing that your child can achieve better than the target they set themselves. His dad used to work for his council and worked with the bin trucks it literally paid minimum wage, it was a dangerous job too and it was a job he hated but did it because he needed to work. You're not being unreasonable but it's okay if she wants her child to aim higher.

[BustyLaRoux]

Birdsnesting I did it for a summer when I was a student. It was through an agency. The jobs they had were pretty shitty generally. Stuffing envelopes (argh, the paper cuts!), the abattoir (enough said!), hospital laundry (grim)…. The bins was their top job!

[Bertiebiscuit]

Such snobbery from so many - just be grateful that so many men and women don't sneer at jobs like taking away our rubbish, cleaning our streets and toilets, wiping the arses and snotty noses of the very young and very old, otherwise the rest of us couldnt carry on with "aiming higher"

[Mothership4two]

I had a friend who met and dated someone she really clicked with but dropped him as soon as he told her he was a "bin man". Another friend's boyfriend (and now husband) was a "bin man" and other friends really struggled to understand why she would go out with him. So sadly they are looked down on. He loved his job BTW

Saying that, I wouldn't particularly want my ds doing that job, but would have been a bit more tactful about saying it.

[josbd]

Many years ago, my bro left school with 4 A levels. And immediately applied for, and got a job as a bin man. Obv this did not go down at all well with my mother. Nevertheless, at that time it suited him. Years later, he ended up in a very senior position in industry and has just retired.

Each to their own, and whatever suits someone at various times of their lives.

[Porcupineintherough]

Yeah how could a mother wish for more for her son than a life of hard manual labour. Who the fuck does she think she is.

I come from an immigrant background where manual labour is what your parents do so you dont have to. The talk usually starts "I didnt spend all those years working two jobs so you could [insert undesirable activity here].." and this is considered good parenting.

[BruhWhy]

I'll encourage my children to get the best education they're capable of - it's up to them what they do with it after that. Whether it's a bin man or a dentist. I'm sure when it comes to it your friend will support any career her child chooses.

She might've put it in a different way, but it was a throwaway comment you've thought way too hard about.

[weesingersco]

““Aim a little higher” and starts laughing?”
Yeah, you’re not being unreasonable, she sounds like a really unpleasant snob, and she’s teaching her children to look down on essential workers. These are part of the teams people who were out during the pandemic, who we were so grateful for. How fast some people forget.
If my kid was wanting to be a bin man, I’d be fine with that. My dad was one for a while. It’s steady, it’s not bad wages, it’s work. We’re not all cut out for uni and office based careers, and if it suits, it suits. There’s more to life than just work. Fulfilment can come from elsewhere, and with holidays and decent pay they’ll have time and means to find it.

[CactusLemonSpice]

@claymodels

It's a shit job though - why would anyone want their child to aspire to being a bin man?

You say that, but there was a thread here a while ago about what kids wanted to be when they grew up. Bin man was the clear winner. Not sure why so popular with kids. Perhaps cos they get to ride in a truck?

[BridStar]

Picking low paid work that 'makes you happy' is how people end up in chronic poverty.

Work hard, get educated and seek high paid positions. Sorry, but that's the only way to keep a roof over your head.

My mother encouraged me to work in a shop. That was it. She couldn't even imagine a better job. This was in the 90s. Completely boggles my mind she didn't want to tell her kids to be engineers or technicians or surgeons. Her kids all have far better jobs and she seems to really hate it, to be honest, sneering she doesn't understand what we do and it all sounds like 'messing about'.

[ManicPixie]

@divface

She just said out loud what we were all thinking

Speak for yourself.

Personally I’d have said nothing as A) it makes that kind of snobbery seem ok and B) the child will invariably change its mind about careers anyway.

[Hankunamatata]

On the fence. Family are lorry drivers and it isnt the best job tbh and most are stuck as only skills/qualifications they have are their licenses. My family constantly tell my kids to get their qualifications then if they want to be hgv drivers do it as they want them to have as many options as possible.

[Hankunamatata]

How many people aim to be Bin
People when they are in high school?

[Bluntness100]

I also think you’re being unreasonable. Nothing wrong with being a bin man but it’s not aspirational.