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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think *some* people are just fucking useless

211 replies

00100001 · 30/11/2021 08:53

I'm in a WhatsApp group for a uni course I'm doing and the others are somewhat younger than Mme (19-22ish) and OH MY GOD they're useless at stuff.

Everything is a problem that someone else needs to sort out or a reason they can't do something.

So for example. We usually spend all day doing our modules. A morning session and and afternoon one.

Morning one has been moved online and the afternoon is on site. We have 1hr break between sessions. We've been given 3 days notice.

Them: "I can't make it for the afternoon session, I live 90 minutes away! E only have 60 minutes between sessions....Waaaah"
Me: "Kust come to campus as normal and use the library and do the session from there..."
Them: "waaaah, I can't, becaise we're not allowed use teams on my work laptop, it's not installed"
Me: "so, use the web version..."
Them: "but I haven't got headphones... waaaah"
Me: SO FUCKING BUY SOME!!!!

OP posts:
XingMing · 30/11/2021 13:30

DS22 makes the same complaint, OP, based on the lofty commonsense achieved via two years cheffing!

tallduckandhandsome · 30/11/2021 13:31

If this had been about old people, you would have been crucified.

Lots of casual ageism on MN these days,

Birdsnesting · 30/11/2021 13:33

@Wiredforsound

I’m an academic. Most of the students are great and muck in. They know we’re doing everything we can to make life as normal as we possibly can for them, but oh my god, there is a hard core that want to make every minor little glitch into a major drama that someone else has to sort out because they’ve been wronged. It’s like I’ve personally insulted them.
This is true. I have had students whose mothers showed up in my office to query their exam results in the summer and were most aggrieved when I wouldn't discuss them, and once a mother who asked whether I couldn't 'find another couple of marks somewhere' to bump her daughter up a grade to get her the 2.1 she needed for a postgraduate course. Hmm

Actually, in one case, I realised the student was standing outside in the corridor while her mother was in my office fighting her case.

I have also had students who had babies during their degrees, or who dealt with unexpected bereavements, were made homeless, or were the victims of crimes, and still did impressively good work. I had a student who'd arrived as an asylum seeker with three small children, one of whom had significant medical needs, and who was an inspiration.

TractorAndHeadphones · 30/11/2021 13:34

Also @ClassicSpamFritter ADHD doesn’t give you the right to be entitled, or to have everyone else run around after you.

If you forget to enroll your kid - kid just doesn’t go , or you do the extra work involved in getting them organised as a Later entry. If you would do this then nothing to be worried about.

What’s not ok is blaming camp staff for not chasing you until you pay. Or scolding them for ruining your kid’s childhood.If you don’t pay you don’t get in simple as that what do you want them to do about it?

I’ve put in lots of effort to be organised etc and when I slip up - I APOLOGISE. A lot of exceptions have in fact been made although it was my fault and I’m very grateful.

But people marching in , demanding things and blaming others? Not acceptable. Those who do this and blame ADHD give everyone else a bad name

madisonbridges · 30/11/2021 13:40

I invigilate and students can't even be bothered to show up with a pen (let's not even talk about maths equipment!) so why would you expect them to have headphones? Schools have taught them if you just don't do anything (or get your mum to moan for you - see MN for examples), someone will come and sort everything out for you.

BobbieT1999 · 30/11/2021 13:41

Yanbu i recently did a uni course with a lot of brand new graduates and I couldn't believe how the attitudes. I didn't graduates that long ago so not sure what what's changed?? We were more self sufficient at 16!
Also shocked at the immaturity of many of them Shock

Ps they all have headphones

Kanaloa · 30/11/2021 13:53

@BobbieT1999

Yanbu i recently did a uni course with a lot of brand new graduates and I couldn't believe how the attitudes. I didn't graduates that long ago so not sure what what's changed?? We were more self sufficient at 16! Also shocked at the immaturity of many of them Shock

Ps they all have headphones

It’s quite likely that you’re what’s changed. It’s easy to say oh kids nowadays are - but if I look back to high school there was plenty of can’t be bothered types who just coasted or were always late with homework and the rest. But when you’re older you notice it more.
crochetmonkey74 · 30/11/2021 13:55

@madisonbridges

I invigilate and students can't even be bothered to show up with a pen (let's not even talk about maths equipment!) so why would you expect them to have headphones? Schools have taught them if you just don't do anything (or get your mum to moan for you - see MN for examples), someone will come and sort everything out for you.
What we need to do is let them fail- no pen, can't do it (do it in an early year so it won't affect too much)
5keletor · 30/11/2021 13:57

I've said YABU because you seem to think it's due to their age. On my postgrad course we had one student literally flounce out the room for having to work in a group, another start crying because they'd left their work until the last minute and were about to be penalised for late submission and an argument break out because someone felt a couple of others weren't doing things "properly"... all aged between 36-50. The younger ones on the course, myself included, just sat there, quietly annoyed at being held up by the constant dramatics.

I work in education now and find there is actually a fairly even mix of older adults and teenagers who can't seem to complete certain tasks without being spoon fed every step of the way.

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 30/11/2021 14:09

I do think there's a communication issue with 21st Century life, processing to-dos from a variety of bombarding sources (phonecall, email, DM, WhatsApp). The pace of communication is so much quicker than it was that it's sometimes difficult to keep up and on top of everything unless you're super-organised which a lot of people clearly aren't.

I would regard myself as organised but do sometimes struggle to get things recorded for future reference

BobbieT1999 · 30/11/2021 14:13

@Kanaloa well that makes me feel old!
No one acted like this during my degree though and we all knew each other.

julieca · 30/11/2021 14:38

When I was at University lecturers threw students out of seminars if they hadn't read the texts. It only happened a few times before everyone knew you couldn't just turn up without doing the work.

DdraigGoch · 30/11/2021 14:43

@Chimley

Completely agree. I wish resourcefulness was taught at school, uni, work! Life!
Wouldn't that be a contradiction in terms?

"We believe that young people have forgotten how to do things for themselves, so we're going to teach them ourselves..."

missbunnyrabbit · 30/11/2021 14:45

I agree with you, OP. Everyone just wants an excuse these days to avoid having to make an effort. You see it on mumsnet all the time.

julieca · 30/11/2021 14:47

Kids have to be allowed to fail. It is how resourcefulness is taught.

madisonbridges · 30/11/2021 15:08

What we need to do is let them fail- no pen, can't do it (do it in an early year so it won't affect too much
I have suggested this, @crochetmonkey74, and the head of invigilation agreed. But the school wouldn't be able to deal with complaints. One lad, despite warnings to put phones in their bags, had his phone on him while doing the exam and it beeped. It was only a small room so I know he didn't cheat but I heard the noise, I had to report it and, in this situation, it was an automatic fail. The head of exams gave him a dressing down and warned him about his future behaviour. His mother came in and complained that he'd been told off! What does the child learn from that! Just to do what you want and mummy will make it right. And it's an attitude they carry on with them. The amount of pastoral care learners receive at university is huge and it's mainly because students are not equipped to cope with problems.

DrSbaitso · 30/11/2021 15:10

His mother came in and complained that he'd been told off! What does the child learn from that!

Depends. Did the school concede to Mum?

crochetmonkey74 · 30/11/2021 15:15

Yeah we are trying to be 'harsher' earlier down the school - but we are now at the point that parents will try to stop a 10 minute break time detention- let alone an after school one.

madisonbridges · 30/11/2021 15:28

@DrSbaitso

His mother came in and complained that he'd been told off! What does the child learn from that!

Depends. Did the school concede to Mum?

He's 16 and leaving school. He saw his mother shouting at the head of exams. The school can't make the exam board pass him, obviously, so he still failed. But his parents should have stood with the school over his behaviour. Maybe if they'd done that before the exams, he wouldn't have failed his GCSE English.
julieca · 30/11/2021 15:28

@crochetmonkey74 I see them on MN complaining how ridiculous it is.

Glitterblue · 30/11/2021 15:34

You lost me with all the "waaaaaah"s 🙄

Kanaloa · 30/11/2021 16:52

@julieca

Kids have to be allowed to fail. It is how resourcefulness is taught.
I actually think kids need to be allowed to succeed to learn resourcefulness.

You only have to browse mumsnet briefly to find threads with posters shocked and horrified at the idea of leaving a 15 year old home alone or allowing them to go somewhere by public transport. It’s no wonder so many younger people don’t think they’re capable if they’re treated like they’re incapable.

mumda · 30/11/2021 16:57

It's not age restricted.
People are completely useless most/some/all/a bit of the time.

I've just been five minutes late for a zoom meeting because ... well I was watching youtube and didn't see my computer remind me ten minutes before like it should have done.
I was sat here waiting for it - and tbh it was probably the messing about between word and excel trying to transpose a table that really messed with my time keeping.
Neither paid work but makes me feel hugely unprofessional being late.

FluffyBooBoo · 30/11/2021 18:26

I'm really curious about the other student that organised the room.

Are they one of the useless 19-22 year olds?

TrishM80 · 30/11/2021 19:13

That's just the millennial generation. They've had their arses wiped for them all their lives and can't fend for themselves in the outside world.