To think *some* people are just fucking useless

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I'm in a WhatsApp group for a uni course I'm doing and the others are somewhat younger than Mme (19-22ish) and OH MY GOD they're useless at stuff.

Everything is a problem that someone else needs to sort out or a reason they can't do something.

So for example. We usually spend all day doing our modules. A morning session and and afternoon one.

Morning one has been moved online and the afternoon is on site. We have 1hr break between sessions. We've been given 3 days notice.

Them: "I can't make it for the afternoon session, I live 90 minutes away! E only have 60 minutes between sessions....Waaaah"
Me: "Kust come to campus as normal and use the library and do the session from there..."
Them: "waaaah, I can't, becaise we're not allowed use teams on my work laptop, it's not installed"
Me: "so, use the web version..."
Them: "but I haven't got headphones... waaaah"
Me: SO FUCKING BUY SOME!!!!

You see it on here all the time. People making tiny annoyances into a big deal. Then you’ll get a thread from someone saying they don’t drive and don’t see why people judge them (maybe because there’s hundreds of other threads where people can’t solve their issues because they and dp don’t drive).

[quote 00100001]@Cheeseandlobster

"I agree with this and with your "fucking useless" title you dont come across as a nice person at all." - thanks :)

"It's a lot more expensive to travel before 9am than after so that's inconvenient. Public transport is busier at this time so more difficult for those who might be more worried about covid. " - they travel every week anyway...why would this be an issue all of a sudden?

"And you really can't judge people's finances based on Starbucks or if they went out at the weekend. People generally don't talk about their finances if they are struggling and that Starbucks might just be their only weekly treat" - yes, it might, but they can for go that weekly treat to buy a headset they need for their course, can't they?

"I was a mature student at uni pre covid times and it was often impossible to find a computer even back then. With social distancing I imagine it's much harder now, particularly for a whole cohort of students." - they all have work provided laptops, thanks

"Tell me op. How far from uni do you live? - 45 minutes away... why?

"Will you be having to source a computer at short notice too? If so you might find it's not as easy as you think" We all have a laptop in addition, the uni provides around 100 chromebooks for short term loan, and an unknown number of 'proper laptops' for long term loan, plust there's a few dozen computer suites with probably over 200 public PCs and Macs. There are induvial, sound proofed study rooms available where they can take their laptop and not even need the headphones etc[/quote]
Wow!! I want to go to your uni. They sound much better than mine was. We never had anything like that on offer. It was a case of booking a computer in the library and it would have been impossible to actively join in with a lecture due to the other students needing quiet

I found the same when I did my masters later in life. Everything was a problem and they complained about everything. From what I could gather, most of them just had to study so I couldn’t understand why they found everything so challenging. I was working at the same time with young DC and I managed to just get on with it. I think working for years really makes you resilient, but I swear I wasn’t half as bad when I was at uni the first time round. Maybe rose tinted glasses of my own youth and cohort?!

DSD is the same, at uni and has so many problems. Every sensible suggestion to solve them is met with further reasons why it’s a problem. If only she spend half as much energy looking for solutions rather than problems. Having said that if my whole uni experience had been in the pandemic I would probably whine and feel sorry for myself too, sometimes I find myself doing it at work!

At 21 I was at uni and had kids and struggled this time of year (long before covid) in general, to get into uni as I live an hour away up a rural mountain - bad snow and ice and unreliable public transport meant it usually took 3+ hours.

Going in hours early isn't a solution as I have kids and pardon my french but can't just shove them up my arse and go swanning off.

I practically never used the library because I have a whole fully set up home of my own with everything I need + I can work while watching my kids.

It's a perfectly valid issue to have and 'age' does not affect that... many 'kids' in my class had other things going on in their life (carers for a dying parent, most had jobs they NEEDED, some others like me had kids etc...) being younger than you doesn't mean they are babies that arent allowed to have any issues.

Some probably have far more legitimate issues than you as most of the mature students in our class were in a place of having had let-ups in lives responsibilities that allowed them to go back to uni unencumbered and at pleasure (grown children, retirement, supportive secure jobs that are paying for their advancement, their own homes etc...).

You're right. Some people are so useless they cannot possibly go as far as imagining why other people seek out others to validate them. Even though they themselves have posted to have a fucking good whine and bitch, fulfilling their own need to feel ....

@theelephantinthegroup I too volunteer at a similar organization and getting parents to respond to stuff is impossible. We have the majority of ours running about 2 terms behind for paying for sessions. They ‘just forget’. The bank details for the group is put on a letter. Then it’s put on a private Facebook page. Then it’s put in an email. I then send a group text. Same with details of trips etc. Inevitably I get a message back from the text saying ‘I’ve not heard of this happening before now how come I’ve not had an email?’

I agree this is worse. I see it with adults.

[quote Blueeyedgirl21]@theelephantinthegroup I too volunteer at a similar organization and getting parents to respond to stuff is impossible. We have the majority of ours running about 2 terms behind for paying for sessions. They ‘just forget’. The bank details for the group is put on a letter. Then it’s put on a private Facebook page. Then it’s put in an email. I then send a group text. Same with details of trips etc. Inevitably I get a message back from the text saying ‘I’ve not heard of this happening before now how come I’ve not had an email?’[/quote]
This is why some cleaners insist on cash. Not because they are tax avoiders as most on MN seem to think, but because you are more likely to be paid on time.

I think they're still stuck in the idea that uni is like school and they're used to teachers in secondary school being generally useless and being difficult. They've realised it's their responsibility to get their own equipment, materials and get to places themselves and they want to whinge. Leave/mute the GC or block the annoying ones.

I'm sure most young adults have some headphones either for their phone or tablet. If not they're inexpensive and they will need them for webinar's and work as Teams and Zoom are common place these days.
Some people just don't want to help themselves and have a certain sense of entitlement.

One example of a drafted without the fees and loans ...

https://careers.sky.com/earlycareers/apprenticeships/

Example of an apprenticeship scheme, full time paid job with good promotion prospects with a cohort of people all working towards a degree.

Total cost to student is some £250 fees to register for the degree. Everything else included, leaving those who succeed in a very good position with a degree and relevant job experience.

The programme does tend to attract the brightest and the best. Our team gets allocated one of the graduates every two years or do. So far, they have all been a great asset to our team, good balance of go getters and team workers.

Do you not just feel lucky that you are able to put together the information you have a work out a solution? I have worked with people that really struggled to see things the way I do, so things that seem obvious to me simply don't occur to them. I can't really put my finger on how one would go about obtaining the skill to move from 'I literally cannot think of a way to do this' to 'here's an obvious solution' - it's not something I've learned as I've always been quite capable, but at the same time, it's really debilitating to not be able to negotiate out of an unusual or unexpected situation without letting panic/fear/confusion take over and render you completely mentally stuck.

YANBU OP. I'm tempted to say it's generational but I've met quite a few in my time. DH and I call people like this "yes buts" because every proposal or solution is met by "yes, but what about....".

What you are not realising is that people like this don't want solutions. They don't want to be told to buy headphones or work from here or there.

They just want to be told that it's ok, you don't have to do something that might be mildly inconvenient, why don't you just stay at home. Or they want someone else to do the work for them.

I can't believe you even give them headspace. Just ignore the whining and let them sort themselves out.

@Duckrace

I have some sympathy with your comments OP. My Dd did a really expensive work based course and most of the other students were relatively recent graduates. They had to work together on mini projects for every module, and my dd got so sick of them crying off, dumping work on everyone else, taking credit for work they'd had no part of, etc etc. How they'll do at work I don't know.

They'll probably quickly rise to management.

@JustLyra

That’s not an unreasonable complaint imo. People shouldn’t have to be buying stuff they’ve not needed so far with three days notice, not everyone can afford it.

Even a cheap pair of earphones? Didn't students used to buy paper and pens a lot?

[quote Blueeyedgirl21]@theelephantinthegroup I too volunteer at a similar organization and getting parents to respond to stuff is impossible. We have the majority of ours running about 2 terms behind for paying for sessions. They ‘just forget’. The bank details for the group is put on a letter. Then it’s put on a private Facebook page. Then it’s put in an email. I then send a group text. Same with details of trips etc. Inevitably I get a message back from the text saying ‘I’ve not heard of this happening before now how come I’ve not had an email?’[/quote]
Yep. This sounds familiar. We used to be told that finding a cheque book/cash was too difficult and they wanted to pay online. So we organised that and the same people still forget. It's never the less well-off parents either. We did have to refuse a place on our latest camp to a few who e-mailed us less than a week before to say they had decided they wanted to come. Apparently this decision was going to basically ruin their childhood and they would never want to come to cubs again. We offered to take them if the parents could prepare the extra food needed, run around the country to find more materials for activities at the last minute (both things they happily suggested we should do) and come along to help as we would be over our supervision ratios. Never heard another word.

Sorry OP. Won't derail and further. This could be a series of threads it it's own right!

Lol. Yes indeed. They'll be running the country.

It’s sounds like retry poor organisation to change with 3 days notice. Was it originally all meant to be online or on-site? Aren’t they meant to contribute to the first session? If yes they can’t do it in the library. If no, why not just record it and let people listen another time?

I have ADHD and sometimes issues which seem small to others are huge to me. If this person has a lot on in their personal life, has anxiety, depression or anything else (and you may not know about it) then small inconveniences can feel huge.

Just because this seems like a non-issue to you, but it could just feel like extra stress for them. Maybe either show a little sympathy or don’t engage. Don’t respond or give a non-committal response and move on.

@theelephantinthegroup see this worries me. As I said above I have ADHD and struggle with changes and I forget so much. I’m so worried that I’m going to be that parent!

Isn't this behavour simply the outcome of "mummy" doing eerything for their precious children?
So few parents let their kids grow a backbone it is not really surprisng that many don't have one.

Not good for the future welfare of this country though.

I’m an academic. Most of the students are great and muck in. They know we’re doing everything we can to make life as normal as we possibly can for them, but oh my god, there is a hard core that want to make every minor little glitch into a major drama that someone else has to sort out because they’ve been wronged. It’s like I’ve personally insulted them.

Has anyone hit “young people are…” bingo yet? I think I’m only one more before I hit full house.

I wouldn't like to have a change of plans etc last minute. But would just get on with it if no other way.

To be honest I can see both sides. Are some people generally just a bit useless and expect others to sort stuff for them? Yes.

Do some just like a moan on WhatsApp whilst just getting on with things? Also yes.

Op, you are perfectly entitled to have a moan about them (as they are about last minute changes) but be careful you aren't then falling into the trap of offering them solutions. They won't learn to sort stuff for themselves if they always have someone offering solutions. I would either just ignore these messages on the group chat or mute the chat for a bit and let them get on with it. Either they will solve it themselves or miss the lecture. Neither outcome is your responsibility.

@ClassicSpamFritter

I have ADHD and sometimes issues which seem small to others are huge to me. If this person has a lot on in their personal life, has anxiety, depression or anything else (and you may not know about it) then small inconveniences can feel huge.

Just because this seems like a non-issue to you, but it could just feel like extra stress for them. Maybe either show a little sympathy or don’t engage. Don’t respond or give a non-committal response and move on.

You can’t take your issues out on the rest of the world. I also have ADHD . Had my fair share of frustrating last minute changes, missing emails etc but I don’t moan about it to people.

It’s perfectly justified to be angry on your own, or moan to close friends but that doesn’t fly in the workplace.