To think *some* people are just fucking useless

[00100001]

I'm in a WhatsApp group for a uni course I'm doing and the others are somewhat younger than Mme (19-22ish) and OH MY GOD they're useless at stuff.

Everything is a problem that someone else needs to sort out or a reason they can't do something.

So for example. We usually spend all day doing our modules. A morning session and and afternoon one.

Morning one has been moved online and the afternoon is on site. We have 1hr break between sessions. We've been given 3 days notice.

Them: "I can't make it for the afternoon session, I live 90 minutes away! E only have 60 minutes between sessions....Waaaah"
Me: "Kust come to campus as normal and use the library and do the session from there..."
Them: "waaaah, I can't, becaise we're not allowed use teams on my work laptop, it's not installed"
Me: "so, use the web version..."
Them: "but I haven't got headphones... waaaah"
Me: SO FUCKING BUY SOME!!!!

@theelephantinthegroup

It's not just younger people OP. I think there are some people who are so used to someone else sorting out any minor problem they have, or re-arranging things to avoid any sort on inconvenience to them, that they feel genuinely affronted when this does not happen.

For example. I help run a cubs group. I and the other leaders are all volunteers, all work and all have our own children and other caring responsibilities. We recently organised a weekend camp (giving up a full weekend, plus many hours beforehand preparing activities/risk assessments etc). Complaints we received from parents included:

• we should hand them printed letters instead of e-mailing, so they don't have to remember to check e-mails/search for the letter etc
• we should have phoned anyone who did not reply to say their child was coming (complaint from parent who ignored 4 e-mails clearly stating deadline- and actually told us that he never reads his e-mails, if something is important enough, someone will phone him)
• we shouldn't order materials/food weeks in advance, this is not fair on children who decide they want to come at the last minute.
• rather than asking parents to tell us in advance if there are any foods their child can't/won't eat, we should provide several choices for each meal; parents can't be expected to know exactly what their child does not like
• we should work with the local beavers/scouts/brownies/guides etc to all go away at the same weekend so parents with children in different sections can have a few days off

-

What??! Seriously, @theelephantinthegroup?? Did you get to reply to these ridiculous complaints? I’d be writing an email right back to these entitled folk!

I do have headphones but only because work supplied them, I rarely use them as even with working from home and home schooling we have enough rooms for everyone to work separately, so can see that someone wouldn't have any.

Three days would be a ball ache to source some headphones/earphones. Yes you can get cheap ones but you are likely to have to pay a delivery charge on top, especially to guarantee they arrive on time, or it requires a trip into town or a big supermarket/retail park. It's not insurmountable but definitely worthy of a moan.

@midsomermurderess

There is of course an awful lot of that on this site, grown women asking if they can eat something a day after its best by date, asking strangers, x said y, what does it mean????? etc. Some people, across a wide age range, are not very bright, capable of being functioning.

I think a lot of women need validation from others. Maybe it comes from bitchy teenage girldom.

As for the OP, yes they can buy cheap (or even expensive if they can afford them) headphones and take part from the libary (or anywhere on/near campus). I have to say I'd have thought most students owned a pair of headphones.

I get your frustration, my DS’ are in that age bracket, they always have headphones, that are replaced immediately should they break. How do they listen to music? I find it hard to believe they don’t own a pair.

There is of course an awful lot of that on this site, grown women asking if they can eat something a day after its best by date, asking strangers, x said y, what does it mean????? etc. Some people, across a wide age range, are not very bright, capable of being functioning

I think you are misunderstanding why they are posting. They are looking for the social connection and interaction. The topic is actually pretty irrelevant to what they are seeking to get out of posting - the connection.

@EatYourVegetables

I don’t believe that in 2021 there’s anyone around who doesn’t have earphones. What did they do for the last year and a half??

I don't because headphones give me an instant headache. It is annoying as it means I can't watch films on planes etc.

It's often the same on here when someone will post a question that they could easily resolve just by Googling it.

I think the rise in private tutoring and spoon-feeding by teachers who are under immense pressure for good results has led to a lot of young students being completely inadequate in life skills.

@crochetmonkey74

We live the same life - infuriating, isn't it?

@FluffyBooBoo

*"It's a big change and it's short notice. It's very inconvenient for some. People are allowed to complain."

No it's not, and no it isn't.

It's not at all inconvenient for them as they must attend every week anyway.*

Who are you to decide it's 'not at all inconvenient' for others? Clearly it is, as they can't be in two places at once. So they are having to come to a compromise. Which is inconvenient.

Not impossible, not insurmountable. But inconvenient.

I agree with this and with your "fucking useless" title you dont come across as a nice person at all.

It's a lot more expensive to travel before 9am than after so that's inconvenient. Public transport is busier at this time so more difficult for those who might be more worried about covid. And you really can't judge people's finances based on Starbucks or if they went out at the weekend. People generally don't talk about their finances if they are struggling and that Starbucks might just be their only weekly treat

I was a mature student at uni pre covid times and it was often impossible to find a computer even back then. With social distancing I imagine it's much harder now, particularly for a whole cohort of students.

Tell me op. How far from uni do you live? Will you be having to source a computer at short notice too? If so you might find it's not as easy as you think

Is other people complaining a problem for you?
Can't you solve that minor problem yourself without involving other people here?

@NotQuiteHere

Is other people complaining a problem for you? Can't you solve that minor problem yourself without involving other people here?

[quote BedisBliss]@crochetmonkey74

We live the same life - infuriating, isn't it?[/quote]
It really is- my thing is staff just keep getting an extra level of jobs

Previously - student writes homework in homework diary- doesn't do it- gets detention slip- attends detention- done- several times- parent letter.

Now- student writes homework in homework diary- staff also put on online learning portal- no homework- student gets slip and staff puts on portal but also has to email home, then reply to emails or chase non replies.
We have now added in 4 extra jobs to a really simple transaction. Add to that the fact we use 3 separate platforms for the varying things (Google Classroom/ Edulink/ Our own network)
THEN we also have to tackle the literacy and handwriting- here's a clue- it's getting worse as we are not expecting students to do any day to day transactional reading and writing anymore!

FML with the 'i don't have headphones' merail...
YANBU!

You're absolutely right some people are absolutely useless OP.

I don't think it's necessarily age though but for whatever reason this course has attracted a load of muppets, not everyone of course.

I went to college as a mature and was surrounded by young people. It was a vocation-driven degree, I'm not sure if that was the reason but I was pleasantly surprised by how sensible and how resilient they were. They were all living away from home for the first time, very organised, very supportive of each other, very helpful. I certainly wasn't like that the year i left school (perhaps why I only made it there as a mature student!)

I have a friend who is useless. We have been friends for 25 years and she has never changed. It is a tactical strategy, she has a consistent "who is sorting this out for me" attitude which while it doesn't give her a life I'd like, does provide her a home, lots of travel, weekends away, busy social life despite never bothering with a career / employment, learning to drive (she has a car available to her and lessons paid for) or the other stuff we generally do to participate in adult life.

@NotQuiteHere

Is other people complaining a problem for you? Can't you solve that minor problem yourself without involving other people here?

good one

Thank you @00100001 - that all sounds absolutely amazing! and they can probably afford a set of headphones

Actually, who on earth, under the age of 25, has no headphones? . My youngest has them permanently glued to his head!

People are allowed to complain.

And so is the OP. No reason she can't come on here to vent.

I wouldnt say its some, it seems to be most these days.

@Birdsnesting

Just watch you don't get cast as the 'mother' of the group, sorting out people's problems for them -- I've seen this dynamic emerge between older mature students and recent school-leavers studying the same thing, especially if there's group work.

This. It's not your job or role to find solutions for them. Leave them to,it. They will work it out. Or maybe they won't. Not your problem.

Actually I've found the online/face to face switcheroos incredibly fucking difficult this year - as a mature student who normally can solve most problems quite happily.

Uni timetabling is set to allow us 1 hour to get home moving between online and face to face. There are at least 8 of us (out of the 30 still standing on the course) who live well over 1 hour commute away. So fine - we'll log on to the online stuff from uni... that's fine to sit and watch a recorded lecture - but sitting and actively engaging in an interactive session in the middle of a study area is a bit arseholey for others in there trying to work quietly.

There's a real shortage of "teams-able" spaces on our campus and uni haven't managed that much at all. Then the times I've tried to log on from uni - the connection's been worse than at home and I couldn't even finish the call. It's something we keep flagging up via the communication pathways - but since the library team are arses - we're going to get no luck there.

Headphones? Kind of minimal sympathy there - our campus shop sells them dirt cheap, although my devices don't have normal headphone jacks (I'm an Apple groupie) but I make sure I have something in my bag that can connect to my stuff - well usually I have my airpods in my ears on noise cancelling mode to turn the world down a bit anyway.

I found the younger ones on our course a bit irritating at the start - but they've matured a lot, they've coped with a really really shit second year, and they had a lot to learn and figure out. I'm sure I've irritated the shit out of them as well at times.

Completely agree. I wish resourcefulness was taught at school, uni, work! Life!

@Cheeseandlobster

"I agree with this and with your "fucking useless" title you dont come across as a nice person at all." - thanks :)

"It's a lot more expensive to travel before 9am than after so that's inconvenient. Public transport is busier at this time so more difficult for those who might be more worried about covid. " - they travel every week anyway...why would this be an issue all of a sudden?

"And you really can't judge people's finances based on Starbucks or if they went out at the weekend. People generally don't talk about their finances if they are struggling and that Starbucks might just be their only weekly treat" - yes, it might, but they can for go that weekly treat to buy a headset they need for their course, can't they?

"I was a mature student at uni pre covid times and it was often impossible to find a computer even back then. With social distancing I imagine it's much harder now, particularly for a whole cohort of students." - they all have work provided laptops, thanks

"Tell me op. How far from uni do you live? - 45 minutes away... why?

"Will you be having to source a computer at short notice too? If so you might find it's not as easy as you think" We all have a laptop in addition, the uni provides around 100 chromebooks for short term loan, and an unknown number of 'proper laptops' for long term loan, plust there's a few dozen computer suites with probably over 200 public PCs and Macs. There are induvial, sound proofed study rooms available where they can take their laptop and not even need the headphones etc

I’ve had a 20yo student tell me I never attempted to help her during covid - I messaged several times on our internal messaging service and emailed. Apparently she hates emailing and doesn’t even know what the messaging is. How was I supposed to know? Same with parents of young people I work with now. Send letter - letter lost, ring house phone - no answer, attempt to send text to mobile, number is one digit too short as they’ve not written it down right. Sometimes we had to physically knock on doors to tell them when our service started back up after lockdown. Then when their kids didn’t show they said ‘well I’d been asleep when you knocked on so I was all confused and didn’t take in what you said’.

Does anyone own up to being one of these uncontactable people or is it something you don’t admit out loud.

@blueeyedgirl21 "Does anyone own up to being one of these uncontactable people or is it something you don’t admit out loud"

they wont have read this message

Also my 63 yo tech phobic mum managed to sort herself out with a laptop and headphones so she could do various work bits from home as part of her covid related NHS job (stressful) which she’d always done face to face as semi front line medical personnel, she even managed to interview staff on teams when they needed new people. it’s no excuse to say you struggle with tech etc, we’re nearly two years in now. You might not enjoy teams/using a computer etc and it’s fine to moan but I’m losing patience when im trying to conduct a meeting on teams and someone says ‘ooh I’m no good with this how do I turn my camera on?’ You’ve been using it for two years drop the learned helplessness