To think their name choice is ‘off’

[Isitweirdorisitjustme]

I feel pretty miffed about something and can’t work out whether I’m being unreasonable or not - please give it to me straight!

SIL (my brother’s wife) was pregnant at the same time as me. I was six weeks ahead with our third baby (already have two boys and knew I was expecting a girl this time around) She was pregnant with their second (they chose to find out sex at birth)

Let’s say we chose Molly. Six weeks later they announced the arrival of their daughter and her name was Polly. Apparently they realised it was similar to Molly but thought this was ‘cute.’

For context, I don’t live in the same country as my brother. COVID aside, we normally see each other a few times a year and we are a small family - he is my only sibling. His eldest child is also a boy so the two recent babies are the only girls (and it’s likely to stay that way, don’t think either of us will have any more)

Is it just me or is it fucking weird that in our small family, we now have two girls, just six weeks apart with incredibly similar names? I feel like they are already set up for a lifetime of comparison and this just makes it even worse.

My mum is already getting confused and mixing their names up. She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

Obviously I can never say anything to my brother but AIBU to be quietly quite pissed off about this? Polly has no significance for them beyond thinking it’s a nice name - I just can’t imagine me announcing Molly and them not thinking ‘oh shit that sounds like Polly, best think of something else’

What is it with this ridiculousness with people getting possessive over names. Get over yourselves. You do not have the patent for any name.

@Mermaidwaves

One of my DD's has a cousin with practically the same name, they were born two months apart. We chose our DD's name as she was born first without realising SIL liked that name too so she stuck an 'M' on her DDs name to make them a bit different.

It's never caused any issues.

Alice and Malice?

My DH’s cousin has the exact same name as him. Like same first, middle and last name. As a 30 something year old man it has never bothered him at all and it’s mostly just a funny joke when they meet up!

My XH has a daughter with his new wife that is an exact anagram of the name our shared DD has.

He has a son due in the new year, the kids and I have been secretly trying to work out how they could do an anagram of DS's name too 😂

Nora and Cora.....hmm. I thought you were unreasonable to begin with but I must admit I wouldn’t be overly impressed if it was me.

The doting grandma getting matching outfits is very cute, though. Maybe she sees things and thinks they’re so beautiful she has to get them for both girls. My son has the same clothes as his cousin sometimes, bought by mother in law.

I can see you already have ceded but just to add - there was one single baby name that me and DH agreed on, if a siblings had names theirs something similar we would have had to have either given up the only name we loved or put up with it and spun it as "sweet"! I think we would have said to them privately though before announcing to everyone. Or perhaps they don't see it as at all a problem. We had family members have babies at the same time and we did breathe a sigh of relief when (different!) names were announced.

I have almost the exact same situation OP, small family with only 2 girls in that generation and my sil called her daughter an extremely similar name to our daughter - only one letter different and sound extremely similar. Both are fairly unusual names, but our daughter's is more common so people often mishear my niece's name as my daughter's! At first I did think it was a bit strange tbh, I totally get where you're coming from and would be lying if I said we didn't do a double take the first time we heard it. My mil also calls both of them the wrong names constantly. But having said that, it doesn't actually bother me and they are growing into their own wee people and personalities so we've got just got used to it!

My and my first-cousin's names are the equivalent of Lisa and Lissa. Uncle and Aunt asked my parents if they minded, my parents said not at all, and fifty years later, Uncle still calls us by each other's name. We all just laugh and chalk it up to one of those family in-jokes. :-)

Unreasonable or not, this would annoy the shit out of me too, OP, so I'm with you. If I was your SIL, I would have been in the "shit, better think of something else then" group. Not for any particular reason and it may well be a non issue but I would certainly want a different name.

I could understand if it was the same name, but seems fine if they're just similar. 🤷‍♀️

It doesn't matter. YABU.

You are being ridiculous. Just enjoy your daughter and stop concerning yourself over something so trivial.

There were cousins in my year at school, both called David. These cousins don’t even live anywhere near each other

It's an independent choice. It shouldn't matter what anybody else does. It's very common to have DC named after parents or gc in a family, with sometimes cousins doing the same.

My husband's brother and his wife named their daughter the exact same name (along with an almost identical middle name) as the baby we'd lost 18 months earlier

That is awful. How incredibly insensitive of them.

I have 6 nephews called Joe/Joseph

Just amuses me- their choice, I am sure that some early Joe claimers are pissed off

@Isitweirdorisitjustme

Thank you to those who has been kind yet made me realise that IABU! I will focus on the fact that I have a lovely daughter and a lovely niece and the names are irrelevant!

This 💯

@Idontbelieveit14

My grandma’s brother named his daughter the same name as my auntie

And... I named my son the same name as my brother 🤷‍♀️

Yes, YABU

Yanbu, I think it was a weirdly copycat thing for then to do. They should at least have asked if it bothered you first.

My guess is the mum is competitive with you about other things too?

I voted YABU and was thinking of something like Milly/Lilly where both are quite popular names. However I do think Nora/Cora both being quite unusual makes it a bit more weird that they chose the rhyming name and now think YANBU.

I do think the girls will like having matching clothes with their cousin though and might think it quite fun to have rhyming names.

Maybe you can quickly get pregnant and have a Flora, and see if they then have a Dora.

It’s funny, OP, I somehow find Nora and Cora less similar than Molly and Polly - they go in different mental categories in my head. Maybe they have different origins. But apart from the rhyme, I think they feel very different!

@oakleaffy

Molly- Polly sounds like a kids TV programme. No one owns a name.

Pigeon Street in fact, if anyone remembers the twins and their twee little song.

For me OP, Nora and Cora feel very different names and don’t have obvious diminutives, so I would think it was absolutely fine personally.

Absolute non-issue

My cousin and I have similar sounding names - I’d never thought of it before now! There’s lots of photos of us as kids with matching jumpers on, being bridesmaids together. We also both have 2 brothers and it was nice having another girl around. The name was never an issue to us clearly as I hadn’t noticed it before.