To think their name choice is ‘off’

[Isitweirdorisitjustme]

I feel pretty miffed about something and can’t work out whether I’m being unreasonable or not - please give it to me straight!

SIL (my brother’s wife) was pregnant at the same time as me. I was six weeks ahead with our third baby (already have two boys and knew I was expecting a girl this time around) She was pregnant with their second (they chose to find out sex at birth)

Let’s say we chose Molly. Six weeks later they announced the arrival of their daughter and her name was Polly. Apparently they realised it was similar to Molly but thought this was ‘cute.’

For context, I don’t live in the same country as my brother. COVID aside, we normally see each other a few times a year and we are a small family - he is my only sibling. His eldest child is also a boy so the two recent babies are the only girls (and it’s likely to stay that way, don’t think either of us will have any more)

Is it just me or is it fucking weird that in our small family, we now have two girls, just six weeks apart with incredibly similar names? I feel like they are already set up for a lifetime of comparison and this just makes it even worse.

My mum is already getting confused and mixing their names up. She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

Obviously I can never say anything to my brother but AIBU to be quietly quite pissed off about this? Polly has no significance for them beyond thinking it’s a nice name - I just can’t imagine me announcing Molly and them not thinking ‘oh shit that sounds like Polly, best think of something else’

it happens - we've got two with the same name among the cousins - not a big deal.

@CallMeK

I would love it and think it's adorable but I actually love my SIL and niece where it sounds like you are jealous of yours for some reason?

Yeah you’re right, I fucking hate them. Especially the baby. Bubbling over with jealousy I am!

You are massively overthinking this.

My grandfather and two great uncles were (nc) James, Scott and David. My dad is Scott and my uncle is James, my dad's cousins are two Davids and a James. My female cousin is Davina and my male cousin is Jamie. It's like my family only knows three names.

Me and my female cousin abbreviate our names to the same name, say she is Annabelle and I am Annalise and we are both called Anna.
We were born in different countries but now live in the same one, but it's never been an issue and we are great friends. We actually love having the same (ish) name as adults.
I hope your little girl and her cousin grow up to be good friends and enjoy their name bond too

OP it would bug me just as much as it does you!

FYI, for those of you who were wondering, the girls are called Nora and Cora

How can they be abbreviated to the same name?

My husband's brother and his wife named their daughter the exact same name (along with an almost identical middle name) as the baby we'd lost 18 months earlier if that makes you look at it in a different light!

Just enjoy your Cora/Nora and, as you've already said, I promise you will laugh about how "precious" you're being now in a few years x

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

FYI, for those of you who were wondering, the girls are called Nora and Cora

How can they be abbreviated to the same name?

My husband's brother and his wife named their daughter the exact same name (along with an almost identical middle name) as the baby we'd lost 18 months earlier if that makes you look at it in a different light!

Just enjoy your Cora/Nora and, as you've already said, I promise you will laugh about how "precious" you're being now in a few years x

My older kids call her ‘Ra-Ra’ which would obviously apply equally to their cousin. But as I said, I don’t really see this ever happening so it’s not an issue.

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

FYI, for those of you who were wondering, the girls are called Nora and Cora

How can they be abbreviated to the same name?

My husband's brother and his wife named their daughter the exact same name (along with an almost identical middle name) as the baby we'd lost 18 months earlier if that makes you look at it in a different light!

Just enjoy your Cora/Nora and, as you've already said, I promise you will laugh about how "precious" you're being now in a few years x

Dear god that is awful.

Meh I had cousins Emma and Gemma ,they were cousins to each other too.

Ooh I love the name Polly and definitely wouldn’t mix it up with the much more common Molly. YABU, precious and a bit of a wolly! Golly what folly!

YABU. Also Nora is much nicer than Cora

It will be nice to have two cousins close in age even if you’re in different countries. They will become individuals-newborns are much of a muchness tbh. Once their personalities come out they will be their own little people and will indignantly correct grandparents if they get it wrong. I always laughed at my parents mixing up names but find I do it with my own children. It’s far easier to do than you’d think and there will be no slight intended when relatives do it. They’d do it even if they were called something totally different.

Two children born at similar times but in different countries?
I got over any ideas of similar names being an issue when my brother'n'law married a single mother whose son has the identical name to my son. So there are two male grandchildren now and they have identical names! But we just call one big X and the other little X. People are so much more than their name. Imagine if you loved your daughter's name - but your brother's child was born first...would you have changed a name you love because of a niece born in a different country?

YABU

We have the same, only two weeks apart.

For example my niece is Abby (not Abigail) and mine is Gabriella. So traditional nicknames would be Abby and Gabby. I rolled my eyes and said no she’s not Gabby as a nickname, she’s Ella.

It doesn’t help that the oldest two also have the same constant sound and ‘Abby’ could also be a nickname for my eldest’s (different name).

Yabu. They can call their daughter what they like. Molly and Polly for cousins are two lovely names and they will grow up loving each other and being friends. Your mum will be able to get the names right once they are here they'll have different characteristics.

I'm gonna go against the consensus here and say I think it IS a little odd and I'd probably be a little miffed if it happened to me. You wouldn't name siblings with names that rhymed, and my family are close enough it would be similar with cousins. Having said that, if they live in a different country and you don't see them often it shouldn't cause too much concern so I'd just try and get over it and enjoy having cousins of a similar age.

Also, it's completely reasonable for your mum to buy the same outfits and gifts. Of course she would shop for both grandchildren at the same time.

Isitweirdorisitjustme - 'No, cos Molly isn’t closely related to them.'

eh?

Molly in their class they will see every day nearly and be a part of their childhood vs. a practical stranger from another country that they just happen to share distant DNA with (so much so they could bloody marry each other and have kids legally if they wanted to).

I would hardly call them closely related or close family.

I had cousins like this and I only knew they existed because my nana occasionally mentioned them, I have met 2 of them once (at a family funeral) and the 3rd I never met but I do know my aunt and uncle (their parents) fairly well and even lived with them for a short while lol.

My husband has a cousin that only lives 100 miles away that he doesn't know and only met once on holiday as a kid but he knows his uncle (who came to our wedding and many family events).

I think you seriously overestimate how much of a relationship your kids are going to have with each other - their ONLY link is your mother.

I think it’s weird when you think of all the names there are to choose from! People will tell you that you don’t own a name but it’s still odd. I have two cousins and one named one of theirs the same name as one of mine (not a family name) and the other used a version of my other DC’s name. So four children, 2 named the same thing and two (something like) Lucy and Lucinda. Madness!

And it is weird at family events as we have to refer to big X and little X now!

This is a complete non event. Stop stressing about what you can’t control.

My grandma’s brother named his daughter the same name as my auntie

Nora/Cora possibility of them both being called Ra Ra??

You're having a bloody laugh!

Yeah it’s weird and I’d change it if I was them and your child’s name is similar.. but it’s done now and wouldn’t bother me given they don’t live near you and it’s just a name!