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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think their name choice is ‘off’

357 replies

Isitweirdorisitjustme · 29/11/2021 14:54

I feel pretty miffed about something and can’t work out whether I’m being unreasonable or not - please give it to me straight!

SIL (my brother’s wife) was pregnant at the same time as me. I was six weeks ahead with our third baby (already have two boys and knew I was expecting a girl this time around) She was pregnant with their second (they chose to find out sex at birth)

Let’s say we chose Molly. Six weeks later they announced the arrival of their daughter and her name was Polly. Apparently they realised it was similar to Molly but thought this was ‘cute.’

For context, I don’t live in the same country as my brother. COVID aside, we normally see each other a few times a year and we are a small family - he is my only sibling. His eldest child is also a boy so the two recent babies are the only girls (and it’s likely to stay that way, don’t think either of us will have any more)

Is it just me or is it fucking weird that in our small family, we now have two girls, just six weeks apart with incredibly similar names? I feel like they are already set up for a lifetime of comparison and this just makes it even worse.

My mum is already getting confused and mixing their names up. She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

Obviously I can never say anything to my brother but AIBU to be quietly quite pissed off about this? Polly has no significance for them beyond thinking it’s a nice name - I just can’t imagine me announcing Molly and them not thinking ‘oh shit that sounds like Polly, best think of something else’

OP posts:
Lahlahlah · 30/11/2021 20:29

I can see your point OP, and think I'd secretly think it was a bit weird. However from an outsider point of view the rhyming names are pretty cute.

I have a cousin, born in the same month as me. We have very similar sounding names (although they don't rhyme). We grew up very close and everyone bought us the same presents/ same outfits as kids. To me it just felt normal...like we came as a pair. Our mums intentionally come up with the names together and they were pleased when we were both girls and they could use them !!

dudsville · 30/11/2021 20:30

I think this is going to be a funny quirk of the family in a great, kind of eccentric way. You now just need to be the family who can pull it off by getting behind it!

SequinsandStiIettos · 30/11/2021 20:30

Especially if it's Nora Jane and Cora June Grin

SallyWebsterr · 30/11/2021 20:36

I would stop the RaRa business, its awful.

MorganKitten · 30/11/2021 20:44

@diddl

Nora/Cora possibility of them both being called Ra Ra??

You're having a bloody laugh!

This!
PearlyShamps · 30/11/2021 20:47

The matter of you Mum getting mixed up with the names - I find that Grandmas often mix up names of grandkids even if the names are not similar - and often not even the same sex.

Could your nose be a little out of joint that you've given birth to the first baby girl in the family, and your SIL has swiftly matched you? I don't mean that in a nasty way - I think many would feel a bit that way.

Enjoy your lovely daughter, and watching the Girls friendship grow over the years :0)

LittleMissMe99 · 30/11/2021 20:49

I'd be annoyed too OP. But it's irrational for sure. Still, it feels like they're taking the thunder away from your own daughter. I absolutely get it.

Tilltheend99 · 30/11/2021 20:52

If the comparison is accurate; two names that end in an ie sound then you are being unreasonable. 90% of girls names being chosen at the moment seem to end in that sing song ie sound. Like Lily, Amelie, Evie and so on. It is just very popular which is why you both now have girls with similar sounding names. We specifically chose not to do this as both our nieces have ie sounding names.

Wheresthebeach · 30/11/2021 20:53

As for your mum mixing up the names - that's pretty normal. My MIL often goes through a parade of names before she gets to the right one...her children/grandchildren/ex's....everyone's in the mix.

I called the dog by my daughters name yesterday...sigh.

PinkMochi · 30/11/2021 20:58

@Isitweirdorisitjustme FYI, for those of you who were wondering, the girls are called Nora and Cora

Cora is not all that uncommon nowadays. I’m sure her name will rhyme with other girls in her class once she starts school. It’s not like they’re called the same name but with a different spelling.

NigellaSeed · 30/11/2021 21:26

first thought is YABU. But. I'm trying to think...if I called my kid Tim, would I be annoyed if my sister then immediately called her son Jim? Yeah, maybe I would. Fair play OP

Zoomattheinn · 30/11/2021 21:48

My husband is named after his grandfather. He has seven cousin with the same first name. All farmers.

landing223 · 30/11/2021 22:22

it is a bit weird choosing a name so very very similar to your DC. Out of all the names in the world to choose a name so near to the one you chose is slightly odd.

NollaigNollaig · 30/11/2021 22:36

@Isitweirdorisitjustme
Mountain meet molehill! Just because your baby was born first doesn’t mean they can’t use the name they picked because you announced a similar name before them.

My SIL called her daughter Eve . I am pregnant and if it’s a girl she will be called Evelyn. It’s a name my DH and I picked years ago on our honeymoon. There is no family significance. I won’t be changing it because SIL had a baby first and called her a similar name. I don’t see why I should have to go off finding a new name we both love just in case SIL has a strop over it being similar. And we live 5 mins from each other. Kids will be in the same school.

Overthinkingx3 · 30/11/2021 22:50

Polly and Molly
So Cute 🥰

You only have one dd and she will forever beg to have a sister
Whilst her cousin lives far away, she will know she has one , of similar age , whose parents care enough to build a connection - to buy similar gifts and call them similar names … maybe they will grow up and think they are almost sisters because of the support and love being shared towards them both … how lucky

Last week there were posts here about people whose siblings would never babysit unless paid . You have a brother and his wife who are so happy to be part of something that they feel you share , buying them same things for your girl as well as their own…. You are very lucky and you should realise it

I really hope you manage to put this behind you and support the girls and their relationship like your brother amd wife are doing

AliceMck · 30/11/2021 22:59

I think your definitely being unreasonable. It’s not the same name, both are common names so not unreasonable that they like it.

Say my name is Lisa Marie, my next girl cousin on my maternal side is Elisa Marie. Apparently my aunt had always wanted to call her dd Lisa Marie but my parents got in first. The similarity in names was never an issue for anyone except my mother, my cousin and I couldn’t care less.

Mamanyt · 30/11/2021 23:23

I wouldn't give it a second thought. My cousins and I, on my mother's side, are Bunny, Bess, Betsy, Billy, Brad, and me, (Bekki). My grandmother used to refer to us as "the B hive."

Overthinkingx3 · 30/11/2021 23:27

Adorable 🥰

Marvellousmadness · 30/11/2021 23:29

Jezus op. Get over yourself. Imagine it the other way around. Would you then have changes your baby's name???
No way. Come on.

Marvellousmadness · 30/11/2021 23:30

Wow that came out way harsher then I meant sorry!

But I do feel yabu. Just get on with it op.

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/11/2021 23:35

YABU

Luckyelephant1 · 30/11/2021 23:39

YABU. Also, mums always get names mixed up- the number of times my mum called me by my sisters name and vice versa! I also do the same with my DD and our Alexa even though the names are nothing alike Grin

Pinkbuttons08 · 30/11/2021 23:57

I actually agree with you, there are an infinite amount of names to choose from so why go for one that rhymes, I think its thoughtless. Same situation for me but they live a mile away and will go to same school etc.

Ineke · 01/12/2021 02:42

I would take it as a compliment that they liked the name that you had chosen and wanted something similar. I know it’s not the same but we have three generations of the same name in my family. They will be getting a lot of the Milly Molly Mandy books I expect, oh and Pollyanna books too. Then there’s the Miss Polly had a dolly etc. Embrace it!

Atla · 01/12/2021 02:58

I feel like I can stick my oar in here. My cousin and I have exact rhyming names - think along the lines of Cara and Tara. We had rhyming nicknames as kids, e.g : 'car' and 'tar'.

It's honestly fine and not at all a big deal. We never got called the right name as kids, but we also have a cousin with a completely different name - let's say 'MJ' - and the family mixed us all up equally. So any of the three of us could've been called any of our names at any point, with grandparents often cycling through all names known to man (including the dogs name) to get to right one.