To think their name choice is ‘off’

[Isitweirdorisitjustme]

I feel pretty miffed about something and can’t work out whether I’m being unreasonable or not - please give it to me straight!

SIL (my brother’s wife) was pregnant at the same time as me. I was six weeks ahead with our third baby (already have two boys and knew I was expecting a girl this time around) She was pregnant with their second (they chose to find out sex at birth)

Let’s say we chose Molly. Six weeks later they announced the arrival of their daughter and her name was Polly. Apparently they realised it was similar to Molly but thought this was ‘cute.’

For context, I don’t live in the same country as my brother. COVID aside, we normally see each other a few times a year and we are a small family - he is my only sibling. His eldest child is also a boy so the two recent babies are the only girls (and it’s likely to stay that way, don’t think either of us will have any more)

Is it just me or is it fucking weird that in our small family, we now have two girls, just six weeks apart with incredibly similar names? I feel like they are already set up for a lifetime of comparison and this just makes it even worse.

My mum is already getting confused and mixing their names up. She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

Obviously I can never say anything to my brother but AIBU to be quietly quite pissed off about this? Polly has no significance for them beyond thinking it’s a nice name - I just can’t imagine me announcing Molly and them not thinking ‘oh shit that sounds like Polly, best think of something else’

My mother had three children and her only sister two. I am nine months older than my female cousin on that side and we were more like sisters than cousins when we were growing up. Our names are fairly similar and, as children, we often had similar clothes. Our grandparents would very often give us identical presents and we often had the same main presents at Christmas so our mothers must have exchanged ideas. It made us incredibly close.

Both Molly and Polly are diminutives of Margaret. Did either of you register the full name? If so the child can choose a different diminutive as they grow if having a cousin in a different country with a rhyming nickname bothers them.

You're not even in the same country . It really doesn't matter.

Literally have no idea how this could ever wind anyone up. Weird.

Sorry , just tracked back to Nora and Cora.
I don't think they even have the same name-stem so there really isn't anything in common except the rhyming.
They are both lovely, not overused, pretty names. Congratulations to you both.
As they are in a different country it really won't come up much. Maybe have a word with your mum about the matching gifts if it's bothering you?

@Pontypandytaxpayer

She also keeps buying two sets of any gifts she gets for them so I keep seeing photos of Polly dressed identically to Molly?

This doesn't have anything to do with their names though?

My mum always buys my DD and DN the same clothes and we live ten mins from each other 😂

As another poster said, you are spiralling on this. It’s a non issue. Not using the real names here but my BIL named his son Patrick when my DD is called Patricia....I was like ‘ok they’re similar but whatever’, life moves on.

I think it's adorable tbh, I won't lie 🤷‍♀️

My brother is called Jonathan, and so is my cousin. Two sisters (my mum and aunt) chose to call their sons Jonathan. They live in different countries, but they're close. Nobody seen an issue with it, and neither do I. If someone named their son the same name as my DC I would be so flattered ❤

I don't think there's anything wrong with names rhyming either, so I think YABU, sorry! 😔

I get you. My sister named her daughter a rhyming version of my daughter's name, then gave her the same middle name. I thought it was utterly bizarre and, unlike you, we see each other regularly. Years later, I still think it's weird but it's now not something that crosses my mind on a regular basis.

Don’t sweat the small stuff! And they might love it when they’re older - I kinda get why they thought it might be cute, especially as they don’t live nearby.

I've called my son my nephew middle name that he is now using instead of first name. My sil called her son my husbands name. It doesn't matter. People when they are choosing a name for their baby they choose it because they love it. They won't be thinking too much about other people.

Kindly - get a life.

My SIL in England and my Brother in Scotland both have 2 kids and they have the same names, it is slightly confusing if we are talking about them we have to say Scotland or England cousins. Different names wouldn't be an issue for me I'm afraid.

Yanbu. Nora and Cora and the whole cute thing makes me wince.
I don't think you need to worry about the comparisons due to name, this will happen anyway because they are both girls of the same age.

They chose boys and girls names they liked during pregnancy and then used the name they wanted at birth. Why would they change their mind just because you had chosen a similar name??

All this about comparison is odd. Your mum will love both her grandchildren. Buying them similar gifts at this age is surely normal? She sees something cute and buys one for both girls. Normal.

I'm from a large Irish family, although brought up in Liverpool. We're all named after grand parents, aunties and uncles, so we have multiple cousins with the same names.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

They can obvious call their child what they want

It is a bit odd though as Molly and Polly are both old fashioned diminutives of Mary(albeit longer)

I can understand Molly, but Polly? How did that come about?

I work with the elderly and only recently discovered that Daisy is a diminutive of Margaret along with Gretchen, Rita, Megan and Peggy.

A friend has 4 daughters called Amy, Emily, Amelia and Emma which are all the same name. Very different characters though and never mistaken for one another

Me and my cousin were born a week apart differnt names of course but she was so much bigger than me and my late gd still got our names mixed up

My sister Pauline was born 2 weeks beore my cousin Pauline. The DMs are sisters. Apparently my aunt cried for a day when my sisters name was announced then decided no one owns a name and still used her first choice for her DD.

I also have a cousin Laura (my name) and there are multiples (Jacks, Eves etc) amongst the children of my cousins. Were are geographically not close but have meet ups on a regular basis. Never caused any confusion.

Its a different name. Can't see what the fuss is about.

My niece is called Nora.
What shall we call ours? Cora
I would take it as a compliment OP that SIL likes the ora sound. Assume you have different surnames? If the same if you kept yours, then even more flattering that she thinks ora sound goes nicely with the last name.
Gwan OP tell us how similar the middle names are
That might be the difference between twee/cutesy/trying to link the cousins in some way to complete lack of originality/ bat shit mental

It is a bit weird innit. I dunno if I would have changed my name choice if relatives had gone for something similar. If I liked it enough I may not have. Luckily I don't need to worry as it seems everyone of my generation has appealing taste in names apart from me ;-)

I know first cousins called Ada and Ava who spend a lot of time together. I would find that confusing. But no more confusing then have them in the same class at schooI guess.
It used to be common to name people after relatives so you would have multiple people with the exact same name in the same family and it wasn't an issue.

Im with you @isitweirdorisitjustme
I wouldnt have gone with a name that rhymed with the name of a relative's 6 week old baby!

A propos of nothing, there was a German film about twins called Hanni und Nanni.
I quite like matchy names though so bothers me less than say, Paula/Pauline, Alice/Alicia, Kate/Caitlin would or any known derivatives iyswim

I think now we know the names it's too similar. If I were you I'd be fucked off too

I'm surprised at how many people claim this wouldn't bother them. Yes it's technically a different name and yes no-one owns a name, but I wouldn't do it to someone and would be a bit miffed in your shoes. It's only one letter different and they're similar age. Of course people will mix up the name. Given it's done now though, of course I would try to get over it and focus on the positives. I certainly wouldn't risk falling out over it. However you're not unreasonable to think it's a bit weird.