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Original poster

Has my date stolen my keys??

999 replies

Wilhelmine · 28/11/2021 23:48

I’ve just come home with a guy I’ve been for a few dates with after a couple of drinks and we’ve had a coffee and he’s gone home. We’ve been getting on great and knew each other before as acquaintances. He’s a bit intense but nothing scary until tonight when he said “I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out”. Now I’ve just got ready for bed and can’t find my keys anywhere. I’m well organised and tidy and always know where things are. I’ve messaged him to ask if he picked them up by mistake but no reply. Am I being daft to think he might have taken them? If I can’t find them in the morning I’ll have to get the locks changed and I really don’t want to have to do that.....

OP posts:
EffOrfagain · 29/11/2021 09:51

@Wilhelmine

Are the video doorbell thingies easy to fit? An def getting one.
The Ring ones are if you get a battery one, wired ones are more difficult, we just left our ancient wired one up and fitted a battery Ring one in addition to it as the old wiring transformer was not compatible with the new Ring so we have two doorbells
MenopauseSucks · 29/11/2021 09:51

Change ALL the locks.

When you couldn't find your keys last night, your first thought was your date had taken your keys & you felt uneasy about it.

Trust your gut. It's not being hysterical, it's being sensible & keeping yourself safe.

inawe · 29/11/2021 09:52

Please change the locks and trust your instincts. This man sets off so many alarm bells, please don't ignore them.

Snazzysausage · 29/11/2021 09:52

My first thought when you said he generally takes everything out of his pocket so when leaving absentmindedly picked yours up by mistake was if that was what happened you would have had his bunch of keys at your house by default.

GoodnightGrandma · 29/11/2021 09:53

I would change the locks of any keys that he has had.

northbacchus · 29/11/2021 09:54

Please change at least one lock OP. You can buy the Yale/Chubb barrels from Wickes/B&Q and it is relatively easy and quick.

My local key cutters opens at 8am but I believe there's online key cutters which can cut keys from just a photo.

OhItsMeeeee · 29/11/2021 09:54

Lots of shops that do key cutting near me open at 6am. I would get the locks changed

ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 29/11/2021 09:54

For those who are continuing to tell the OP to change the locks, where on earth could he have got her keys copied between the times of 10pm-7am???

tenredthings · 29/11/2021 09:54

@Wilhelmine

He’s dropped them off and showed me his keys which are virtually identical to mine and on the same ring. He says he didn’t see my messages last night because he went to bed early (he does). So might have been a genuine mistake as he does take everything out of his pockets when he’s here. However am totally spooked now what with the previous behaviour and am going to take *@Aphrodite31*’s advice and make myself less available. Thanks for keeping me sane during the night!
Perhaps they're almost identical because they are the copies he had made this morning ! It could easily be an honest mistake but if you hadn't already felt uneasy about him you would not have so readily jumped to the worst conclusions.
icelolly12 · 29/11/2021 09:56

@ItsAllAboutTheLighting

For those who are continuing to tell the OP to change the locks, where on earth could he have got her keys copied between the times of 10pm-7am???
Firstly it was 8am. Secondly posters have listed many places, including B&Q, independent locksmiths and machines and shops that are open 24/7 in supermarkets.
ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 29/11/2021 09:57

Oh well fair enough then! I genuinely had no idea!

I live in a town which is archaic in shops opening times (think closed on Sundays etc).

So I clearly wasn't thinking outside the box then.

LindaEllen · 29/11/2021 09:58

To be honest, whether he took them on purpose or not, if you're worried to this extent about what he might do, you really need to call it a day now.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 29/11/2021 09:59

@Wilhelmine

Are the video doorbell thingies easy to fit? An def getting one.
If you get a wireless one they couldn't be easier. You need to change the locks though too - you are going to aren't you?!
HunkyPunk · 29/11/2021 10:00

It’s amazing how he has seemingly managed to assuage many of your misgivings, op, by showing a virtually identical set of keys to you when he dropped yours off!

SunshineCake1 · 29/11/2021 10:00

Hence the companion and obviously if she has the bolt closed... think.

Sn0tnose · 29/11/2021 10:01

I think you’re under reacting. This man has told you that he’s not going to react normally if you end things with him and he’s stolen your keys. And let’s be realistic here, it wasn’t an accident, he didn’t do it unintentionally. He stole them. And there are only a couple of reasons he would do that, none of which are good for you.

I think this man is potentially dangerous and you cannot make excuses for him or tell yourself that you’re over reacting or being melodramatic. Normal people don’t act like this. I know you don’t want to pay out money unnecessarily but you can get new locks in so many shops for £30 and You Tube will show you how to do it. I think it will be the best £30 you have ever spent.

Is he still on good terms with any exes I wonder?

Lweji · 29/11/2021 10:02

So might have been a genuine mistake as he does take everything out of his pockets when he’s here.

Nobody picks up two sets of keys. If he had left his and taken yours it would be more believable.
And if he had taken yours by mistake, he'd have taken that set out to get in and notice they were yours and contact you immediately or seen your messages.
It's possible to find locksmiths that open at 8:00. He has had time to copy them. And find a similar key ring to explain his "mistake".

Dump and change locks. No doubt.

Merryhobnobs · 29/11/2021 10:02

Yes you absolutely should change your locks. If it was someone who you trusted to 'accidentally' take them then it would be fine. But there is obviously something in your gut to be wary of him and I would therefore change the locks. I am would not rest wondering if he had them copied.

WomanStillNotAFeeling · 29/11/2021 10:02

@Wilhelmine

He’s dropped them off and showed me his keys which are virtually identical to mine and on the same ring. He says he didn’t see my messages last night because he went to bed early (he does). So might have been a genuine mistake as he does take everything out of his pockets when he’s here. However am totally spooked now what with the previous behaviour and am going to take *@Aphrodite31*’s advice and make myself less available. Thanks for keeping me sane during the night!
Whilst he’s not had long to do it he could have created a set of keys that look very similar to use as an excuse. If he wanted a copy he’d have made sure to bring them back before you’d have had a chance to change the locks. Or it may have been a genuine mistake but why take that risk when there’s other red flags
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 29/11/2021 10:04

Just about this whole key copy thing.. Even if he had dropped them off at 1 am, he could have copied the key depending on what type it is.
Our key has a serial number on it. We got copies made by going to the company's website and putting that number in. Keys arrived a couple of days later.

pickingdaisies · 29/11/2021 10:06

I could just about accept that he might have picked up two sets of keys by mistake (but who deliberately takes their own keys out of their pockets when they are in someone else's home?) - but then, why didn't he spot them when he emptied his pockets in his own home?
Change your locks OP. After you've had a sleep!

BatshitBanshee · 29/11/2021 10:07

I'd rather have the unwelcome cost of a locksmith than an unwelcome visitor. I would not trust him after this, and considering you can order replacement keys online now (!!!!) And get keys cut 24hrs a day in some places, not a fucking hope would I continue to see him or not change my locks. There is not a chance anyone would accidentally pick up the wrong keys. Your set is in your pocket/back not on the sideboard or counter in someone else's house.

Change your locks. Ghost him.

LadyPenelope68 · 29/11/2021 10:07

@ItsAllAboutTheLighting
For those who are continuing to tell the OP to change the locks, where on earth could he have got her keys copied between the times of 10pm-7am??
Supermarkets have key cutting services in store that open when the store opens, so do independent hardware stores open early for tradespeople, plus there are even automated key cutting machines outside supermarkets accessible 24/7, my local Morrison’s certainly has one.

HunkyPunk · 29/11/2021 10:07

I live in a town which is archaic in shops opening times (think closed on Sundays etc).

Are you on the Isle of Wight? Grin

LumpyandBumps · 29/11/2021 10:08

Changing the barrel of a lock isn’t expensive if you are able to do it yourself.
Many only require the removal of one screw, and it is quite straightforward. There are videos on YouTube showing how to do it.
For the cost of the barrel ( £10 ish from DIY shops), it might be worth it for peace of mind.

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