Has my date stolen my keys??

[Wilhelmine]

I’ve just come home with a guy I’ve been for a few dates with after a couple of drinks and we’ve had a coffee and he’s gone home. We’ve been getting on great and knew each other before as acquaintances. He’s a bit intense but nothing scary until tonight when he said “I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out”. Now I’ve just got ready for bed and can’t find my keys anywhere. I’m well organised and tidy and always know where things are. I’ve messaged him to ask if he picked them up by mistake but no reply. Am I being daft to think he might have taken them? If I can’t find them in the morning I’ll have to get the locks changed and I really don’t want to have to do that.....

I'd change the locks anyone incase he's stolen them to make his own copies and cut contact very strange.
Sometimes you have to trust your instincts.

Anyone on this thread who is trying to downplaynthe potential risks here, shame on you. Shame on you. Over and over and over and over, women are mocked and belittled for trying to protect themselves.

Men like the OP's date depend on YOU to reinforce the message that a woman's safety and sense of well-being is less important than a man's wants and feelings.

I say again: shame on you.

He is lying. he took your keys deliberately. Don't beat around the bush, change your locks and your boyfriend

And how long did it take you to realise this @maddy68? This guy left it a whole entire night before realising!

He got in his own car, in his own front door, presumably locked his own front door, emptied his pockets as per his routine apparently etc etc. I struggle to believe he didn't realise he had two sets of keys when he got home.

So he filled his empty pockets with 2 sets of keys and didn't notice?
I think he took them as an excuse to visit again when bringing them back.

I agree it's a bit weird.

And our local Morrisons and Tesco both have timpsons open at 7am he's had the time to get a copy I'd say xx

change the locks!! he could have made a copy and there is so so many red flags here!!

hes brought they keys back andcould have easily made a copy at a supermarket as you dont even need a shop to do it anymore they have machines!

Don't make yourself 'less available' - make yourself out of his life!

Seriously, you have already had several red flags here. Listen to your instincts.

How often has he ignored several messages before and missed a call?

I'm guessing never?

Bit of a coincidence that he went absolutely straight to bed and never heard a thing...

I would bet that he was there watching your messages and hearing your call and feeling quite excited at his first little bit of 'power' over you.

Fucking end this, right now. And yes, change the locks, I would not take a chance.

Are the video doorbell thingies easy to fit? An def getting one.

Change the locks. Why take the chance?

@Wilhelmine

Are the video doorbell thingies easy to fit? An def getting one.

Great. Are you also getting your locks changed as everyone has advised?

I would be very irritated by any man emptying his pockets when visiting me! What's the psychology of that?!

tin cans piled up infront of the door. The clatter would wake you if anyone came in. Phone next to bed.

He definitely took them on purpose… I’d probably go as far as worrying that he made
up a bunch of keys to look like them too, so that the “mistake” would look honest. Change locks anyhow OP - you’ll feel safer.

Look - it could have been a genuine mistake but I don’t think you will ever trust him again. Get the locks changed now and move on.

I don't get the accidentally "picked keys up" argument. Bunches of keys, housekeys especially, are very personal items. You get used to the weight, the feel of them, how you hold them etc. You know when you pick up a strange set of keys because they don't feel the same.

Change the locks for your own peace of mind. While it's unlikely he managed to get the keys copied in time there is still a possibility he might have found somewhere to do it.

Change the locks anyway OP and don’t see him again.

Sounds like a genuine error to me.

But those other red flags shouldn't be ignored, not that you're planning to.

I recommend a Ring camera and/or door bell.
We have one they are really good.

It's really easy to buy a new Yale lock and fit it yourself!
You just need a new barrel and a screwdriver

And same for Chubb lock too...

You tube have lots of videos on how to do this
It will take you 5 minutes to change it your self

@GoodnightGrandma

Perhaps he wanted to be the hero by ‘finding’ them, so you’d be very grateful. Some people are very strange.

That was my thought. Like a weird control thing.

I don't believe it was an accident because surely his keys were in his bag/pocket where he always keeps them and he wouldn't have seen your keys sitting on an end table and assumed they were his. No way.

It’s awful that we have to think like this…that we have to fear men but it’s the way it is. I would change the locks OP just because there is a small chance he has had keys cut and it will out your mind at rest. Of course there is every chance he did accidentally pick them up and there’s nothing untoward going on but do you want to risk it? You can bolt the doors when your home but not when your out.

I have to say…I had a bad experience with someone I dated, I stupidly told him where I lived and he kept turning up at my door uninvited, one day he messaged me saying he was coming over as he was working near by, I told him not to as I was unwell but he ignored that and turned up anyway, I was ill with a virus and feeling pretty rough, my door wasn’t locked (stupidly) and he let himself in, he then became very forceful with me and I had to fight him off, luckily despite being ill I managed to push him away and he left but it could have been so much worse. I had been dating him for a month or so and stupidly thought it was ok letting him know where I lived. I won’t make that mistake again.

Have you been watching Home Alone @saveourtrees I mean, yes you can set up contraptions, but I would have thought it safer and easier just to get the locks changed!

So it's an unwelcome cost to get a locksmith in.

How much is your peace of mind worth? You've already lost a night's sleep and a day at work because this 'accident' provoked your fear.

You're presumably not going to be going on any dates for a while. In fact being skint over getting the locks changed is a good reason to be unavailable - say your insurance insisted on it.