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AIBU?

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Original poster

Has my date stolen my keys??

999 replies

Wilhelmine · 28/11/2021 23:48

I’ve just come home with a guy I’ve been for a few dates with after a couple of drinks and we’ve had a coffee and he’s gone home. We’ve been getting on great and knew each other before as acquaintances. He’s a bit intense but nothing scary until tonight when he said “I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out”. Now I’ve just got ready for bed and can’t find my keys anywhere. I’m well organised and tidy and always know where things are. I’ve messaged him to ask if he picked them up by mistake but no reply. Am I being daft to think he might have taken them? If I can’t find them in the morning I’ll have to get the locks changed and I really don’t want to have to do that.....

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 29/11/2021 09:26

Even if he accidentally scooped them with his, he’d have found them when he went to unlock his own front door or start his car.

Yes this. And even if he went to bed early, he'd have sent a text before saying shit I've picked up your keys by accident, can I drop them to you in the morning?

peboh · 29/11/2021 09:26

@LaurieFairyCake

purplesequins

Because if she's out at work he can't harm her - she can check on her camera doorbell if he ever goes in when she's out

Would you want somebody going into your home when you aren't there? I wouldn't, that's my personal private space.
Libertynan · 29/11/2021 09:26

Oh gosh OP - I've only just seen this and have read through it all.

Definitely just change the locks and dump the bloke

20viona · 29/11/2021 09:26

This is the most dramatic thread Iv seen in a long time 🤨

TeeBee · 29/11/2021 09:26

So if he'd taken all his things out of his own pockets, he picked up two sets of keys when leaving? Otherwise his keys would be at your place, right? I suspect he's made his set of keys look similar to yours. Trust yourself.

billy1966 · 29/11/2021 09:28

What a twat.

Even if it was an accident.

I think the door bell would be a good investment.

You poor woman.Flowers

icelolly12 · 29/11/2021 09:29

But were your keys right next to his? Otherwise how would he have picked up yours too? If he always empties his pockets have you never noticed his keys before and the fact they look like yours? Also a bit too coincidental that they look exactly like yours don't you think...

GrandmasCat · 29/11/2021 09:31

Change the locks, lots of supermarkets have automatic key cutting machines that are not operated by employees and that are available all time as long as the supermarket is open and most opened at 7 this morning.

I would stay home and change the locks ASAP even if the keys have turned up

HoldmecloseTonyDanza · 29/11/2021 09:31

It could well have been a mistake, but if it would make you feel better to change your locks then do it. In the cold light of day you may be less inclined to do so, that's OK too.
Agree with making yourself less available.

MilkTooth · 29/11/2021 09:31

I can entirely see how this could easily be a genuine accident DH and I have more than once waltzed off with one another's keys (until our nine year old firmly put contrasting silly keyrings on both bunches because he was tired of us complaining it had happened yet again) what is much more concerning to me here is that the OP's immediate response to the loss of her keys is (1) to think her new boyfriend deliberately took them and (2) for some nefarious reason, and that (3) it retroflagged up some questionable behaviour.

It could be an accident, but the concerning thing is that the OP didn't think so.

ChipButtyCurrySauce · 29/11/2021 09:32

@Wilhelmine

He’s just called. He’s got them and is bringing them over now. Fucking twat. Do I still need to change the locks?
Absolutely still change the locks. No way did he accidentally pick them up! As someone said, B&Q open from 7 so he could easily have had copies made already.
malovitt · 29/11/2021 09:32

Practically the exact same thing happened to a good friend of mine.

Had a bit of a dodgy date and returned back to hers for a coffee and for him to call a cab (in the days before taxi apps). Couldn't find her keys in the morning, he confirmed he's accidentally picked them up and he returned them at 9am. She had housemates so it would have cost quite a bit to replace everyone's keys so she thought nothing of it.

She awoke some months later after she had ended things to find him sitting on the end of her bed saying he wanted to talk.

She screamed and he left sharpish as her housemates were in and came running in to her room.
It transpired that he'd got them cut at a builder's merchants at 7am.
So change the locks!

icelolly12 · 29/11/2021 09:32

If he always empties his pockets as you stated then surely he does this at home too... So why didn't he message you and return the keys last night?

TeeBee · 29/11/2021 09:34

Correct icelolly12!
Just too many things happening here. It's giving me bad feeling just reading about it.

SequinnedShawl · 29/11/2021 09:34

Why does he empty his pockets? That's an odd thing to do. Almost like he does it so he has a reason to wander around and pick up random things like your keys because he would have already picked up his own keys (which are amazingly on the same style key ring) 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

icelolly12 · 29/11/2021 09:34

Gosh @malovitt that is terrifying, thank goodness she had housemates.

BarryTheKestrel · 29/11/2021 09:35

Change the locks to be sure. It could be an innocent mistake but he has too many red flags as it is. Change the locks and distance yourself from him.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Your gut clearly knew.

MamDancer · 29/11/2021 09:35

STILL CHANGE THE LOCKS

diddl · 29/11/2021 09:35

Where do you put your keys when you get in Op?

Why would he put his in exactly the same place?

Why does he empty his pockets as if it's his house?

What are the chances of the same keyring?

Still doesn't explain (imo) how he picked up two sets of keys?

maddy68 · 29/11/2021 09:35

I came home with my mates keys the other day. I picked them up assuming they were mine just drop him a text ?

Pinksloth · 29/11/2021 09:36

I agree that it just doesn't make any sense that he wouldn't realise he had two sets when he got home. Men tend to use the same pocket to keep keys in.

You'd then automatically message to explain and say you'd drop them by in the morning.

But really I don't believe in ignoring your instincts these days. And I think any woman on here that advises you to ignore them, or shames you for having concerns, has been extremely lucky never to have come across an abusive or controlling man. The keys are NOT the only warning sign.

WorriedMumsDontSleep · 29/11/2021 09:37

Change the locks.
That's way too many coincidences to be plausible:
'accidentally' picking your keys up from your normal place
'accidentally' not getting your messages or messaging himself when he realised
'accidentally' responding after most key cut places will have opened.
Amazing coincidence of same number of keys and keyring(how do you know he is not just showing you the ones he had cut?)

I know it is a pain to pay to change them, but if you don't it's a risk.

pompomsgalore · 29/11/2021 09:37

Genuine mistake or not you were worried and you just can't be 100% sure. Change the locks.

sarahc336 · 29/11/2021 09:37

Change the locks!!!!! As if people pick up the wrong keys by accident you can clearly tell by sight if they're your keys are not. I think you need to run for the hills op xx

Eddielzzard · 29/11/2021 09:38

No his story doesn't ring true. He took them on purpose. Unfortunately as annoying and inconvenient it is, you DO need to get your locks changed. This bloke has set off your spidey senses. The 'I don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work out' is a very very weird thing to say.