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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Has my date stolen my keys??

999 replies

Wilhelmine · 28/11/2021 23:48

I’ve just come home with a guy I’ve been for a few dates with after a couple of drinks and we’ve had a coffee and he’s gone home. We’ve been getting on great and knew each other before as acquaintances. He’s a bit intense but nothing scary until tonight when he said “I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out”. Now I’ve just got ready for bed and can’t find my keys anywhere. I’m well organised and tidy and always know where things are. I’ve messaged him to ask if he picked them up by mistake but no reply. Am I being daft to think he might have taken them? If I can’t find them in the morning I’ll have to get the locks changed and I really don’t want to have to do that.....

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 29/11/2021 08:11

@Cleopatracat

If he has had 2 messages delivered and not read and a missed call perhaps his phone is downstairs. While I agree he sounds ott and losing the keys has highlighted this. You also sound ott and you have totally overreacted to losing your keys
I think the OP is not being OTT at all Hmm A weird date, and keys going missing is something to be concerned about.
Gooseysgirl · 29/11/2021 08:11

Yes it's a hassle, but I would definitely change the locks as you seem 100% sure that the keys are not at your home. That's the top priority today.

NC101NC · 29/11/2021 08:11

@AuntieDolly

Have you looked in your letterbox? If you dropped them outside someone might have poked them half in.
To be honest if they were in the letter box, I'd assume he had dropped them off after having them copied! I can get quite paranoid at times but you never know.
EffOrfagain · 29/11/2021 08:11

What sort of time does he go to work, DH is still in bed and his phone has been going off downstairs this morning, totally ignored as he is in bed

RampantIvy · 29/11/2021 08:12

To be honest if they were in the letter box, I'd assume he had dropped them off after having them copied!

Since 11.30 last night?

Tricked2003 · 29/11/2021 08:12

Look everywhere, I once lost the keys for the shop I worked at, I turned the house upside down and eventually found them in a shoe!!!! They had dropped off the hall table and slid down into the toe of the shoe.... I have never forgotten the feelings of panic and relief I had that morning !!!!

MyOtherProfile · 29/11/2021 08:12

You can replace your locks yourself much cheaper. See YouTube. Could a friend stay at your house while you go get new locks?

Staryflight445 · 29/11/2021 08:14

I bet he’s buying some time to get them cut and then he’ll respond later saying something happened to his phone and he missed your messages and had a look and found them.

Do you know where he lives op? I’d be tempted to look for the local key cutting places- explain the situation and ask if they can call if someone matching his description gos to get keys cut.
Then report him to the police the creep.

readingismycardio · 29/11/2021 08:15

Hope you're better, OP, and managed to find a locksmith

purplesequins · 29/11/2021 08:16

wrt to 'messages not read' and 'online' status in what's app (or other messagengers). it's easy to switch these off under settings/privacy.
I wouldn't read too much into tgat.

NC101NC · 29/11/2021 08:16

@RampantIvy

To be honest if they were in the letter box, I'd assume he had dropped them off after having them copied!

Since 11.30 last night?

They could have been dropped off this morning
Original poster
Wilhelmine · 29/11/2021 08:18

He’s just called. He’s got them and is bringing them over now. Fucking twat. Do I still need to change the locks?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 29/11/2021 08:19

How did he say he took them home?

MyOtherProfile · 29/11/2021 08:19

Did he say why he had them? I did once accidentally scoop up my friend's keys when I left her house because I just assumed it was my bunch. But I drove back with them as soon as I realised and gave them back before she noticed they had gone.

purplesequins · 29/11/2021 08:20

Do I still need to change the locks?

yes.

NC101NC · 29/11/2021 08:20

@Wilhelmine

He’s just called. He’s got them and is bringing them over now. Fucking twat. Do I still need to change the locks?
I personally would. How has he got them? Do you have anything else on your keys? I have a few things on mine that no one could mistake for being there's. How on earth could he have taken them by mistake?
NC101NC · 29/11/2021 08:20

*theirs

Santaischeckinglists · 29/11/2021 08:21

Replace the barrels op. You can do it yourself easy. And cheaper.

MrsBobDylan · 29/11/2021 08:21

Yes. I have thought all alone that you hadn't lost them anywhere. I don't know why some people on this thread find it so hard to believe that someone would do this.

He may well have not intended to make copies, but just to shit you up and make you feel vulnerable.

I would still change the locks if it were me. Literally nobody picks up someone else's keys by accident.

MotherOfDragons27 · 29/11/2021 08:21

Yes I would still change the locks. He could have had them copied this morning before calling you. Better to be safe than sorry.

Shedmistress · 29/11/2021 08:22

Yes, yes you do.

Can you have someone there when he comes over?

GoodnightGrandma · 29/11/2021 08:23

Perhaps he wanted to be the hero by ‘finding’ them, so you’d be very grateful.
Some people are very strange.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 29/11/2021 08:24

Hell yes.

QuicklyNowThen · 29/11/2021 08:25

Yes you absolutely do and agree with poster above ideally someone else there when he drops them off. He's definitely done that on purpose creep.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 29/11/2021 08:25

It could so be innocent, it's easy to mistakenly pick up someone else's phone/keys.

But I think you should trust your gut given that you say you have difficulty with boundaries. I do too.

Or would it be OK to leave the locks as they are given you have bolts?