Has my date stolen my keys??

[Wilhelmine]

I’ve just come home with a guy I’ve been for a few dates with after a couple of drinks and we’ve had a coffee and he’s gone home. We’ve been getting on great and knew each other before as acquaintances. He’s a bit intense but nothing scary until tonight when he said “I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out”. Now I’ve just got ready for bed and can’t find my keys anywhere. I’m well organised and tidy and always know where things are. I’ve messaged him to ask if he picked them up by mistake but no reply. Am I being daft to think he might have taken them? If I can’t find them in the morning I’ll have to get the locks changed and I really don’t want to have to do that.....

@WaltzingBetty

I can't imagine you can take a blu tac imprint into your local Timpsons  have you ever actually done that in practice *@Aussiegirl123456* ? Or just read about it somewhere? Seems rather far fetched unless you actually have criminal connections.

Also if he has the actual keys I don't see why he'd be messing about with blu tac and dodgy locksmiths.

It’s been done many, many times. Not by me, no, I’ve never needed nor wanted to. Many years ago there was a police alert as salesmen were going door to door selling and discreetly taking key imprints to later rob the homes. As another person has stated, there’s various tutorials online, many different techniques, so one wouldn’t even need to visit a locksmith anyway.

But hey, because I didn’t personally do it, it didn’t happen right?
Love a little mumsnet patronisation reality check while cooking dinner! Just bloody google it woman!!!

And as for having the keys and not bothering to make copies himself, that initial comment was in reference to the OP stating if he returns the keys before anywhere opens, she’ll know she’s safe. I was merely pointing out that there would be a way. I wasn’t ever implying that this is what he has done. For all we know the keys might be in OPs bag.

Trust your instincts OP.
I wouldbe changing the locks today.

There was recently a woman who met her new bf dog walking and had acquaintances in common. Think he hadn’t replied or something and she was panicking, was this you op? My mind is a bit hazy on the details but it rang a bell.
Change the locks. Be breezy and unavailable.

Another voice saying stay there until locks are changed. Very odd behaviour not to answer the phone in the circumstances

Have you heard anything @Wilhelmine ?

Also have you fully checked

You handbag
Your coat
The window sills
Under the settee - all around it.
Next to TV
kitchen counter
Bathroom etc.

I'm sure you have. If he does reply and he has picked up your keys 'by mistake', still change the locks anyway. I know it's a pain in the arse but better to be safe.

I have usually put mine in my coat pocket, when I can't find them.

I would change the barrel if that is possible - easily done - you will need to do something anyway if you have no spares.

Do you have a back door you can use whilst the front is bolted?

If he is usually attentive to messages (which it sounds like) then don't bother with any more messages.

Don't go out.... you could come back to find a new coffee table in situ!

He must have seen his phone by now and replied, very telling if not

What keys are missing though? Front and back door?

Did you use a different coat or bag? Keys could be there?

Yes 2 messages delivered, not read and a missed call. That should be enough shouldn’t it? Will call work and make excuse, I need the whole day off because I feel so tired and crap. Will then call locksmith. I’m so pissed off with him for not answering my messages (WhatsApp) and agree after all the intense stuff, that’s very odd...

Trust your instincts!

Very odd. Does he usually reply quickly?

How many keys are lost, is it just the front door

Have you looked in your letterbox? If you dropped them outside someone might have poked them half in.

@xxxGirlCrushxxx

Don't go out.... you could come back to find a new coffee table in situ!

He must have seen his phone by now and replied, very telling if not

Oh my god.. imagine 🙈🙈🙈

The context you’ve given does make it sound very odd. I hope you’re able to get a locksmith out quickly.

As for whether you should still see him if the keys do somehow turn up - I dated someone once and got to thinking he had taken something personal of mine. It turns out actually he didn’t, but the fact I thought he had WAS a good indication his boundaries were weird and I found him too clingy and OTT. I’ve never suspected anyone else of taking something I lost before. Ending things was a good decision.

@xxxGirlCrushxxx

Don't go out.... you could come back to find a new coffee table in situ!

He must have seen his phone by now and replied, very telling if not

And/or a nanny cam.

It's just not worth cheaping out on paying for a locksmith unless the OP suddenly finds the keys at home. I'd always worry.

@Wilhelmine

Yes 2 messages delivered, not read and a missed call. That should be enough shouldn’t it? Will call work and make excuse, I need the whole day off because I feel so tired and crap. Will then call locksmith. I’m so pissed off with him for not answering my messages (WhatsApp) and agree after all the intense stuff, that’s very odd...

Another vote for being honest with work. You don’t need to go into massive detail but just say you think someone has taken your keys, you can’t leave the house until a locksmith has been.

The not answering the phone is the red flag for me. It suggests he is getting a kick out of leaving you in limbo. Perhaps he wants to swoop in and save the day today to “show” you that you need a man like him. Or perhaps he’s just a dick.

What time did you text him or call him. If you did at 12am … then he’d probably be in bed and asleep wouldn’t he ?

Years ago when I lived in a flat I had dinner a couple of times with the friendly guy next door. He came to my flat a couple of times and he cooked for me in his flat a few times. I started making excuses as he was very intense and I wasn't interested in a relationship. He made me feel uncomfortable.

After that I occasionally felt like someone had been in my flat. Nothing I could put my finger on but things not where I thought I'd left them. Then I came home unexpectedly one afternoon and found him in my flat ...... it turned out my landlord had given him a key before I moved in so there was a spare available. Locks changed immediately and I never spoke to him again (and moved asap). He'd definitely been through my underwear drawer during those weeks.

Trust your instincts OP. Get your locks changed and don't see him again.

Hope you are doing a little better this morning and get some rest later on. Just some advice from someone who understands what you are going through.

1)Tell work the truth, honestly if this person has overstepped the boundaries, the more people who know the safer you could be.

2. Change the locks, whether he messages/returns them. Make sure they are changed. This is the single most important thing to do now.

3. Ease out the ‘relationship’ and let a close friend or someone you trust that you are doing so.

Honestly, take it from me. It’s a hassle to change the locks I know but your safety is above all, the most important thing. Hope you sort it all soon and get some much needed rest

If he has had 2 messages delivered and not read and a missed call perhaps his phone is downstairs. While I agree he sounds ott and losing the keys has highlighted this. You also sound ott and you have totally overreacted to losing your keys

You can replace your locks yourself much cheaper. See YouTube. Could a friend stay at your house while you go get new locks?

Just tell work you’ve had an emergency, and need to get a locksmith ASAP. No need to give all the details but you could just say you think they’ve been stolen.