AIBU to think there is nowhere women can feel truly safe

[30whatacrock]

Reported in the news today is a woman who was sexually assaulted as a child and raped as an adult by males. She has been accessing group support to help her deal with her trauma.

In walks a male in male clothing who identified as being female. This person didn’t say anything or join in with any discussion but just sat there. The woman, who was upset at this, explained to the organiser how uncomfortable she felt having a male there, only to be told that he had every right and that they don’t police gender.

This is despite the group also running sessions for trans and non binary people. It just makes me wonder if there is any area that women can go, which is for females only, whether it be changing rooms, toilets, or counselling sessions.

There is no excuse for this, its just more violence from men against women when they are at their most vulnerable.

There's no excuse at all. They run groups that this male could have attended. He chose to go to the women's group and intimidate women.

It's not gender she wanted policing it's sex

I haven’t seen the piece but what you describe is awful. Women and trans women have different needs and experiences.

Unacceptable. You are right, there are less and less places where women can feel safe.

This is the responsibility of the numpties running that group.

Characteristics protected in law include sex and gender reassignment. Not gender identity.

Single sex-based services, where there's a reason, are legal.

The male (sex) person (gender irrelevant) was in the wrong group. The organisers needed to enforce that. They failed. This woman has very straightforward grounds for complaint.

It's not gender she wanted policing it's sex

This.

You can't change sex.

I'm sick of the gaslighting suggesting this isn't important

Have you got a link with details? Perhaps you could contact the organisation to explain the need for sex segregated sessions?

@TestingTestingWonTooFree

Have you got a link with details? Perhaps you could contact the organisation to explain the need for sex segregated sessions?

The women in question did - and got told to find another group to use. Imagine that - a women who has already been abused being told to go away because she didn't want to talk about her abuse in front of a man.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10249633/Rape-victim-forced-quit-therapy-sessions-feels-threatened-6ft-trans-woman.html

That poor woman, going through so much, finding the strength to get support, and then not being safe. Why can't men just leave us the fuck alone?

The vast majority of people don't realise this is happening, and it's time they did. I asked a number of people at my work in Ireland and only one person knew you can self identify in Ireland and the consequences, at the extreme end, is situations like this. Every single one was horrified this can happen.

Just placemarking before someone describes this thread as “trans bashing” or requests it be moved to Feminism…

I can tell you men do not put up with this shit. The masons will not accept female to male transgender people, they will only accept people who at some point in their lives have been men.
Where are the transgender professional footballers playing in mens teams.
It is all very one sided. Men do whatever they want, women or transgender women do whatever they are told.

Male entitlement.

This won't be the only rape survivor to self exclude either, but due to the gaslighting and reframing of any objection to a male in a female only space as transphobic, most won't come forward as it opens them up to bullying and being coerced to accept men: something no woman, but particularly one that has suffered abuse at the hands of men should have to put up with.

Men commit most sexual and violent crime, that's literally why these groups exist in the first place.

@AngeloMysterioso

Just placemarking before someone describes this thread as “trans bashing” or requests it be moved to Feminism…

Wow, 5 minutes later and we’re back in the naughty corner!

Just to reiterate from the article - there is a women's group (although this is for 'anyone identifying as a woman), a man's group, a trans specific service and I believe a non binary specific service.

Sarah had asked the rape crisis service to have an additional group for females who, for various different reasons, feel unable to talk about their experiences in front of males. She didn't ask for the other groups to stop or remove services for transpeople but just for another group to be added to meet the needs of women using the service (which is completely allowable under the single sex exemptions in the Equality Act 2010). The service refused this and now Sarah and other women will be unable to use the service at all. This is happening across the country.

This is so sad, everyone deserves the help that they need where they feel safe. What I don’t understand is that if there was groups for people who are trans why can there not be only born women groups.
I hope this doesn’t get moved because unfortunately many people on these boards may need to use the services of Rape Crisis and could find themselves in a similar situation. Fed up of being scared to talk about this.

I am so sick of this constant pandering to trans identified males, to the ultimate detriment of women.

Whilst you make a good point @Shehasadiamondinthesky, you have the terminology muddled up:
Men do whatever they want, women or transgender women do whatever they are told.

Trans women is born male, transition to female.
Trans man is born female transition to male.

It's not your fault, it's very misleading language and partly that is why this kind of thing is allowed as most people will read 6ft transwoman and think it's a tall, gender non conforming woman and so apply their common sense to a different scenario than the reality.

@AngeloMysterioso

Just placemarking before someone describes this thread as “trans bashing” or requests it be moved to Feminism…

Sadly this issue affects a huge proportion of women. It would be a real shame to have it constantly pushed back into not just 'feminism', but a special section of feminism.

We need to talk about this.

I couldn't accept this.
But we are silenced most of the time if we feel like this.

I read the article this morning.
Absolutely horrendous. That poor woman.
There are increasingly no safe spaces for women.

If 96% of votes here understand that a woman can want a single sex space for a rape survivor group then how on earth did we get here?

Of those who don't support a woman's right to a single sex space in this instance, can you explain why?