AIBU to think there is nowhere women can feel truly safe

[30whatacrock]

Reported in the news today is a woman who was sexually assaulted as a child and raped as an adult by males. She has been accessing group support to help her deal with her trauma.

In walks a male in male clothing who identified as being female. This person didn’t say anything or join in with any discussion but just sat there. The woman, who was upset at this, explained to the organiser how uncomfortable she felt having a male there, only to be told that he had every right and that they don’t police gender.

This is despite the group also running sessions for trans and non binary people. It just makes me wonder if there is any area that women can go, which is for females only, whether it be changing rooms, toilets, or counselling sessions.

Thank you for standing firm @HoardingSamphireSaurus

The exemptions are there, they can be used yet so many are running scared and it only takes one individual, like you say, and a much needed womens space can be destroyed just like that

If you have a service specifically for you and your needs, yet you insist on inserting yourself in another space where you will distress others and force them out just because it makes you feel better then you are an abuser. Selfish, and devoid of empathy.

Oh it isn't my decision. I only do some Admin for the refuge - I actually volunteer for the foodbank. But you can bet I'm collatring as much data as I can and pushing them to make this an active decisien, not a proactive one!

So far all involved have agreed with me

@Sn0tnose

This is an excerpt of an article from the Herald Scotland. I’m not familiar with the newspaper so if it’s one that is considered to be an absolute rag, please feel free to google for another source if you feel that comments may have been misquoted or taken out of context.

‘THE head of one of Scotland’s biggest rape crisis centres has suggested “bigoted” rape survivors should be re-educated about transgender rights as part of recovering from their trauma.

Mridul Wadhwa, a transgender woman, said people would not truly recover unless they addressed their “unacceptable beliefs” because “therapy is political”.

She said: “We will work with you... but please expect to be challenged on your prejudices.

Wadhwa also told The Guilty Feminist podcast that rape survivors could “reframe” their trauma and have “a more positive relationship with it”.

Well there we go women. We just need to reframe our trauma and remember it’s not about healing us. It’s about validating others.

So abused women need to embrace giving precedence to the rights and comforts of transwomen (i.e. biological men) by viewing their trauma in a 'positive' light. So abuse support is now about making women be less 'bigoted' about men. Have I got that right?

All I am hearing is male entitlement. We are feeding the genesis of most if not all abuse.

I fear for my daughter and all young women today for whom there are no safe spaces, no sanctuaries and no recognition of their needs.

The bit I don't understand about the Edinburgh statement (reading it at face value) is the relevance of the 're-education' discussed to the trauma support process. A woman has been raped by a man. She seeks help, presumably emotional, maybe practical.

What have transwomen to do with this? Where do they come into it? They're not the rapist, or the female victim, so what's their role, their relevance?

It just reads like someone opportunistically seeking to run a religious / political re-education camp in the totalitarian state sense. Just taking the opportunity, while they have a captive, dependent audience. But, unlike in the totalitarian state sense, the thing the women are being re-educated about has nothing to do with the reasons for their internment. They're there because a man attacked them. They're not there because they're suspected of committing wrong-think.

I mean, while they're there, captive and dependent, why not improve their French, brush up on their maths skills? At least you might be helping them become more employable, so economically independent, which might have some relevance to helping them avoid vulnerability to the source(s) of their trauma in future.

Telling them that TWAW isn't going to help them avoid violent men. So why is that bit of 'learning' any more relevant than advanced crochet skills?

[Yes, I do kind of know the answer to this one, it's about the people who want to put themselves forward to 'help' with the therapy. But again, that has nothing to do with the rape itself, or to providing any benefit to the woman being supported. What is the benefit, to her?].