Washing up gate, who was unreasonable?

[Homerenonovice]

I won’t give the full back story as I want opinions based on the facts rather than from the angels we were each coming from.

I had just done all the washing up/ loaded the dishwasher. Walked up stairs and DH was rushing out the room to go to a work meeting and had another few bits of washing up.

I said oh I’ve just done the washing up and have people coming over, can you just leave it in the bedroom for now so it’s out of sight.

DH said no, my hands are full I’m putting the washing up in the sink where washing up goes.

I took the washing up back out the sink back upstairs and put it on his bedside table.

Was I being unreasonable?

If you had just loaded the dishwasher, you could have paused it while DH put the extra plates in, then set it off again.

Very petty to take them back to the bedroom rather than put them where they should be - in the sink.

@diamondpony80

Very petty to take them back to the bedroom rather than put them where they should be - in the sink.

Op didn't want them in the bloody sink.

@ElftonWednesday

If you had just loaded the dishwasher, you could have paused it while DH put the extra plates in, then set it off again.

Or her husband could have done it rather than putting them in the sink when she had asked him not to.

I think getting down to the detail of who presses the buttons on the dishwasher is slightly petty.

@diddl the dp did

Who cares if there’s washing up not done in someone’s home.. life’s to short

[quote AllThingsServeTheBeam]@diddl the dp did[/quote]

Very petty to take them back to the bedroom rather than put them where they should be - in the sink.

Or her DH could have simply left them where he had them for a few more hours than dirty up the kitchen since he was in a rush. Why couldn’t he do that knowing OP had just told him that she cleaned the kitchen and was having people over? It may not matter to him, but it did to OP. Or better yet, he could have put them away earlier than leaving it to the last minute.

I don’t know why people are given the OP such a hard time. It’s really annoying when you’ve done all the washing up to suddenly find more. I don’t know why your DH couldn’t have just done what you asked (ie. Don’t spoil my freshly clean kitchen).

Perhaps you were a little petty but it sounds like cumulative frustration.

I warned DH last week that I was starting to get annoyed with him just leaving his washing up to me all the time. He did do some at the weekend but this was obviously the straw that broke the camels back for me

I think people on this thread are so eager to jump on a bandwagon they're missing the point. Those people will have also at some point have had a straw that broke the camel's back moment.

I'd have put them back to prove a point as well. On his half of the bed.

Life if far too short for this kind of silly pettiness .

Can’t believe grown-ups actually behave like this.

You sound ridiculous for a) thinking it matters that someone might see pots in the sink and b) being petty enough to actually move them to your DH’s beside table.

@Earwigworries

Life if far too short for this kind of silly pettiness .

It's also too short to be taken for granted by your bloke where a task he contributes to is put on your head full time.

I can’t lie I find it very odd to take dirty dishes out the sink and go back upstairs and hide them in the bedroom,

It would have taken a couple of mins to wash them.

Sorry op for me that’s really weird behaviour.

He is unreasonable for leaving so many dirty dishes on his desk for so long that they become crusty and a hassle to wash. And since he does this why does he suddenly care so much to bring them down when it’s not convenient for you.

He needs to do his own damn dishes. I get splitting the work differently due to you being part-time, but he should clean up whatever he eats while he’s working. Presumably you don’t go to the office with him and clean up there.

Yanbu. He had the choice to either leave his stuff and sort it himself later, or clear his stuff and wash it himself. He chose the worst of both options and created work for you to do when you didn’t have time.

You sound ridiculous for a) thinking it matters that someone might see pots in the sink and b) being petty enough to actually move them to your DH’s beside table.

It matters to her though regardless if it is ridiculous or not. I swear some people act like they never clean when they have guests coming. Some people care, some people don’t, it is her home and her guests and she likes to have it to a certain standard. Her husband was going to be gone anyway.

He could have washed the dishes and put them away, but leaving them out in a spotless kitchen is unreasonable.

The (unfair) reality is that women are judged for having messy houses in a way the men who live there are not.

If my DH had done this to me he’d only do it once. You could have just re-opened the dishwasher and put it in.

@TrulyPistoff

If my DH had done this to me he’d only do it once. You could have just re-opened the dishwasher and put it in.

Your first sentence suggests that he was completely out of order. Your second sentence suggests it's OP's issue to solve.

And my bf thinks I’m hard work.. going to show him this later 😂 you are massively unreasonable!! It was a few things! You will be washing up later anyway if you are cooking so just save it till then!

@girlmom21 My DH most likely would have opened the dishwasher himself, he is the one who does most of our housework. But, if he was REALLY in a hurry, obviously I would have done it. The same as he daily tells me to just leave, he’ll do it for me as I have an early start and he doesn’t. To take the time to take dirty plates back to the bedroom is just nuts. And not a very nice way to treat each other.

How old are you? You should like a child.

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