Page 5 | My aunt doesn't want me to bring my dog to Christmas day

onethickpony · 2021-11-23T16:56:46+00:00

My Aunt has told me that she doesn't want me to bring my dog on Christmas day. There are going to be 22 of us so I can understand maybe she is worried about it being overwhelming, but my dog is very clean and well behaved and has been at most large family gatherings without issue. Should I just respect her wishes or AIBU to push back and least ask why? Sad to think of my dog alone on xmas day (yes i am a crazy pet parent).

MoverCat · 23/11/2021 17:48

@peboh interesting

bigbluebus · 23/11/2021 17:48

Unless she lives in some sort of stately home I would have thought it was obvious why! 22 people is quite a crowd without having the dog taking up space. The dog doesn't need to celebrate Christmas no matter how much you treat it as your fur baby. Leave it at home or with someone else if you are going to be out for a long time.

Original poster

onethickpony · 23/11/2021 17:50

@Fros

Cross post

So why would you think dog was invited?

Because the dog usually comes to all our family gatherings without issue (I always text to ask beforehand) and has done since I had her. Hence why I was a little concerned something had happened before that I didn't know about.

OP posts:

MissCruellaDeVil · 23/11/2021 17:51

I'd not go if I couldn't take my dog, they're part of the family.

grapewine · 23/11/2021 17:52

If the dog's been welcomed before it probably is the number of guests at Xmas. But I still wouldn't ask.

CandleWick4 · 23/11/2021 17:52

Prepared to be flamed here but I am sick to death of this new culture of bringing dogs to other peoples parties and houses. I like dogs but I’m allergic and I have a young DD who can be nervous around them and I’m losing count of the amount of parties we’ve turned up to and spent the entire time trying to avoid someone’s ‘well behaved and clean dog’.
We’ve had to leave shops and cafes because everywhere is now dog friendly.

Also - don’t ask her why. She doesn’t need a reason it’s her house.

RampantIvy · 23/11/2021 17:52

How far do you live from your Auntie's house? Can you go back and walk the dog after lunch?

ChargingBuck · 23/11/2021 17:52

@onethickpony

I also think push back was not the right thing to say as well, it was more if it was ok to ask why.

No, it's not ok to ask why.

Think how uncomfortable that would make your aunt feel.

It's disrespectful to push for a reason. Her wish not to host Ddog this xmas is reason enough.

Skeumorph · 23/11/2021 17:52

It's not ok to ask why really.

Because you know why - she just doesn't want a dog in the mix. But if you put her on the spot and ask, she will feel bad about being made to say 'I'm just not into having a dog in the house'

I like dogs and I'd be the same. I don't want a dog, even a well behaved one, being another thing I have to think about when I'm hosting 22 people.

Dogs are hassle. That is just a given. That is your reason and it should absolutely be good enough.

ilovesooty · 23/11/2021 17:54

@bergam

At this stage does anyone NOT have a dog? I am getting heartily sick and tired of the amount of time, broadband width, and space on here given over to hairy animals. Keep it to the dog and cat boards please.

Anyway, the dog is not theirs, it is yours. First thing I would ask if I had a bloody dog is "is it ok to bring dog?" It is just polite. I would abide by the answer, which in this case would be No, dogs not allowed. OK so.

Why should this AIBU question be confined to the pet forum? No one compelled you to open the thread and contribute.

JohnKettleyIsAWeatherman · 23/11/2021 17:54

@CandleWick4

Prepared to be flamed here but I am sick to death of this new culture of bringing dogs to other peoples parties and houses. I like dogs but I’m allergic and I have a young DD who can be nervous around them and I’m losing count of the amount of parties we’ve turned up to and spent the entire time trying to avoid someone’s ‘well behaved and clean dog’. We’ve had to leave shops and cafes because everywhere is now dog friendly.

Also - don’t ask her why. She doesn’t need a reason it’s her house.

Couldn't agree more! Downright rude to assume dogs should be welcome everywhere as so many people seem to do these days. As someone who is allergic it does my head in.

Original poster

onethickpony · 23/11/2021 17:54

I am not going to ask why, was just providing context as to why the thought crossed my mind in the first place.

OP posts:

FreshFreesias · 23/11/2021 17:57

Wow. I’m staggered so many people hate dogs on mumsnet. I think people have got more intolerant in recent times. What if the dog was an assistance dog of some kind? And this sounds like an equally well-behaved dog.

I might suck it up if I wanted to see 22 relatives 😨 and maybe get away with staying 3 hours max “got to get back for the dog”, is a great excuse to leave.

But the fact that small noisy children are welcomed and a quiet companion animal (who requires no food or attention) is not is depressing but not surprising in these increasingly humancentric times.

puginamug · 23/11/2021 17:58

I started a thread about this earlier in the week, but about leaving the dog.

We have been asked not to bring the dog. It wouldn't have occurred to me to push back on that or think our host is being unreasonable.

I was firmly told by Mumsnet that no, it was too long to leave him alone, so a friend has volunteered to have him for the day.

thewhatsit · 23/11/2021 17:58

I honestly thought it was an unspoken rule that dogs are never brought to other people’s houses, particularity non dog owners houses.

No one ever brought a dog to our house growing up (and we had family friends with dogs) and no one has even asked to bring a dog to mine and DH’s house now. ILs even have a dog and haven’t ever asked or brought the dog.

Mamamamasaurus · 23/11/2021 17:59

Are you always this rude and self centred? Of course you cent take the bloody dog. It's a dog, not a child.

sonjadog · 23/11/2021 17:59

I think it is most likely with 22 people it would be too much with a dog as well. The dog would likely find 22 people a but much too. If you dog is used to being home alone, I would leave him/her there, go to your aunts, and then come back maybe a bit earlier than planned if you were going to be there for many hours.

MoverCat · 23/11/2021 17:59

@FreshFreesias

Wow. I’m staggered so many people hate dogs on mumsnet. I think people have got more intolerant in recent times. What if the dog was an assistance dog of some kind? And this sounds like an equally well-behaved dog.

I might suck it up if I wanted to see 22 relatives 😨 and maybe get away with staying 3 hours max “got to get back for the dog”, is a great excuse to leave.

But the fact that small noisy children are welcomed and a quiet companion animal (who requires no food or attention) is not is depressing but not surprising in these increasingly humancentric times.

I love dogs, and I'm not overly keen on children.

But I completely understand that people don't want visiting dogs in their houses for many reasons.

MrsDThomas · 23/11/2021 18:01

Being with 22 people on Christmas day is enough to tell myself to stay home with the dog.

FreshFreesias · 23/11/2021 18:03

@CandleWick4 So you are invited to dog-owning friends homes and then complain that they have dogs? And your child is “nervous around dogs”?
Do you think she is picking up on your dislike of dogs?
We share this planet with many species, not just humans. Live and let live.

verymiddleaged · 23/11/2021 18:07

increasingly humancentric times
Hmm.
In all fairness I think that traditional celebrations around Christmas have for many centuries focused on humans gathering together rather than pets of any kind.
The focus on humans gathering would traditionally include children.

It is very odd that some people equate pets and kids in a meaningful way. They really aren't linked or related in any way.
I have both and like both but there isn't any equivalence.

ChargingBuck · 23/11/2021 18:08

But the fact that small noisy children are welcomed and a quiet companion animal (who requires no food or attention) is not is depressing but not surprising in these increasingly humancentric times.

Oh come on @FreshFreesias. It's a party for 22 humans, not for dogs.
Most dogs would be a bit stressed by by it. I'd be stressed about it if I brought my dog to a big party - I'd need to be in Constant Supervision mode, & worried about him getting trodden on/drunkenly played with/inappropriately fed.

PleasantBirthday · 23/11/2021 18:10

Plus, human children are part of a wider family, they would be the aunts own nieces and nephews. Dogs are a pretend family member and are completely meaningless to everyone else.

peboh · 23/11/2021 18:10

@FreshFreesias

Wow. I’m staggered so many people hate dogs on mumsnet. I think people have got more intolerant in recent times. What if the dog was an assistance dog of some kind? And this sounds like an equally well-behaved dog.

I might suck it up if I wanted to see 22 relatives 😨 and maybe get away with staying 3 hours max “got to get back for the dog”, is a great excuse to leave.

But the fact that small noisy children are welcomed and a quiet companion animal (who requires no food or attention) is not is depressing but not surprising in these increasingly humancentric times.

I adore dogs. However at a family gathering of course I'd expect children there over animals. They're family. The dogs are not.

CandleWick4 · 23/11/2021 18:10

[quote FreshFreesias]@CandleWick4 So you are invited to dog-owning friends homes and then complain that they have dogs? And your child is “nervous around dogs”?
Do you think she is picking up on your dislike of dogs?
We share this planet with many species, not just humans. Live and let live.[/quote]
No. We are invited to a dog free home and people who have dogs turn up with them.
No she isn’t, as I said I like dogs but I’m allergic. She is little and just a bit nervous. Read my post.