Cheeky request? Would this upset you?

[Bangersandmash5]

I've rented a flat on my own for the last five years but due to various reasons will be moving out at the end of December. Lots of family and friends have kindly offered to let me live with them until I can buy my own place as I'm hoping to be on the property ladder by mid next year.

My close friend of many years has said I can rent a room in her place as she has a four bedroom house. She's asked for £250pm which will include all meals (she decided this), however they are a vegan family and I don't particularly enjoy the meals that they cook (lots of noodle type dishes). Obviously I would never be disrespectful and bring meat in the house but I will probably end up buying my own food anyway (boring meals such as jacket potato, beans on toast etc etc).

The bedroom is on the small side and will only fit a single bed in with a small chest of drawers so I will need to pay for a storage unit. I work full time and will be in the house during the evenings and sometimes weekends. Shower once a day and maybe wash my clothes once/twice a week, although I could do that at my parents house if needs be. I'm clean and tidy and have already told her I will help out around the house (one reason I've chosen to live with friend as she's similar to me). She's told me that her council tax won't increase if I move in.

I was thinking of asking her if she'd be happy to accept £200pm and I will sort my own food out, but wanted to get Mumsnet opinions first. I don't want to fall out with a friend, especially over money and ultimately it is her decision, but what do you all think? Would it upset you if I asked the question? She did let slip the other day that she use to charge her sister £120 to rent the same room, but I appreciate family will always get a discount!

@hilsea

I dont think it will be cheaper once youve factored in the cost of storage - this can be £250-300 a month once the initial free or promoitional priced period has ended. And as others have said the house buying process is very frustrating and can take a long time/ be derailed and so what you think should only take two months ends up taking four/six months. So I would get another flat - you could mention about the cost of stoirage/ having too much stuff as you excuse!

yes this makes sense all round. solves the storage issues, food issues, friendship issues, and as @hilsea said house buying takes months and that's after you've found the place you want to buy.

Wouldn’t you need to pay for storage wherever you move to for the six months?

Makes more sense now, you do live in a very cheap area (unless your current place is an exceptional bargain). I'd just look for another flat for the same or less and move there. I think living with friends is often a mistake unless you're in dire straits or it's very temporary (6 months isn't).

Since you’re not vegan and won’t enjoy their food and it would be disrespectful to bring meat into their house, that means you’re going to have to eat out most nights which will end up costing a fortune.

For me, that’s the biggest negative factor and I’d say no based on that alone.

Lots of family and friends have kindly offered to let me live with them

Choose someone else to live with. The current proposal sounds very restrictive. You won't have any freedom at all.

But I’m surprised at how chippy you are about your friend’s diet, and it’s that bit that’s the dealbreaker for you. Veganism in 2021 is hardly a massive deal and it’s odd to me that you’d find that such a difficult thing to live with.

Sorry, but I think you’re the one who’s ‘chippy’, given the (bizarrely) hard time you seem to be having with the OP’s decision.

I’m sure she has zero issues living with her friend’s veganism. She just doesn’t want to be one herself, nor pay for food she doesn’t like, either.

You do realise that’s a perfectly OK decision for an adult to make for themselves?

[quote Bangersandmash5]@Pumperthepumper the price is also the issue... I currently pay £400pm for a two bed flat and will pay friend £250 for a small box room so it just doesn't seem worth it... it's not all about the bacon butties...[/quote]
Could you not rent your other room, or flat share to save some money.
Won't have to pay for storage, less upheaval and you wouldn't feel you were imposing on anyone.

@Bangersandmash5

Sorry I didn't explain myself properly *@Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss*. Having a tumble dryer on overnight wouldn't normally bother me, it just worries me that they don't have a fire alarm incase it went on fire!

So PLEASE get them a smoke alarm!!!!

You can ask the local fire brigade to visit your parents with smoke alams.

I'd move into parents and take your own fire alarm, only cost £10, and you would be able to save more and retain your friendship.

£250 soubds cheap, with or without food.
Food included is probably as much about not wanting to empty a cupboard for you in the kitchen, and to ensure it remains a vegan household.

It's kind of her to offer - if you don't like what she has offered, say no. Trying to haggle or bargain won't go well. Far better to decline graciously now.

If you live with your family, you can probably piss each off and no long term impact. Less likely with a friend.

What's the general going rate for renting a room in a shared house round your way @Bangersandmash5? I know people can be a PITA to live with but at least you won't know any of them to fall out with and it probably won't be a vegan household.

Hope you manage to find somewhere to buy quite quickly though!

Personally, I wouldn't. That's very cheap rent

But can you really bear to be your friend's lodger and sleep in a single bed?

Cant you stay with parents for 6 months?

That sounds pretty cheap to me tbh

Stay with parents. Buy them a smoke alarm. Get yourself some ear plugs

You said several family and friends had offered - is their not a better offer out their?!

250 a month is a huge discount from any average room rent. You’re being cheeky, not her. Also you can’t do your own food really, you’d have to eat every meal out. You mention jacket potato but you won’t be able to have any butter, cheese, tuna, chilli or coleslaw on that. It’s not just meat she won’t want in the house, it is any animal produce - even honey. She’s trying to make it easy on you. I’d definitely live elsewhere in your situation or you’ll destroy the friendship.

I wouldn’t argue the price - it’s cheap anyway and if you don’t include food you have to think each time you have a coffee, snack, weekend food - store your own milk, butter etc and if you have a splash of her milk in your tea she will resent it as you’ve negotiated price down. Just pay it / it’s cheap.

250 is amazingly cheap for a boxroom, all bills included. If she’s providing food it would be better to give her 350 per month. It would be incredibly measly and tight to offer her only 200. It’s irrelevant what her sister paid. Living with your friend will save you huge amounts of money with your friend carrying the bulk of costs.

£250 sounds really cheap but on the other hand, if you were renting a room in a proper house share it is unlikely to come with the stipulation that you have to eat someone else’s vegan food.

I can’t imagine charging my friend so much in rent a month, I would say £150 a month would be enough considering you have to get storage & buy your own food.

I don’t think you’re cheeky at all just think she is.

Renting storage or storing items at your relatives house is irrelevant

Either accept or say no. Even if she did find it cheeky she’d still feel under pressure to accept the offer anyway and might not feel able to say so. Don’t put her in that position.

£250 pcm is also really cheap. Why shouldn’t she charge her sister less?

To be honest I think you should avoid this whole scenario entirely as going on your post I think you will end up spoiling your friendship, especially given there are already underlying tensions over the terms. Also be aware you will essentially be a guest the whole time you are there.

Just find your own place is my advice, if you need somewhere cheaper go for a shared house or whatever for a few months.

I once made the mistake of moving into a good friend‘s flat and it really spoilt our friendship. Even though ostensibly it was my home as well, there was a huge power imbalance and loads of unspoken expectations; not only was it not great as a living arrangement, the friendship has never been the same since.

House share is on average is approximately £500 a month where I live, ok the room is small but you will be using her gas and electricity etc. I think it is actually quite generous. If you don’t want to stay don’t it’s up to you.

I think £250 is cheap Evan without meals