Cheeky request? Would this upset you?

[Bangersandmash5]

I've rented a flat on my own for the last five years but due to various reasons will be moving out at the end of December. Lots of family and friends have kindly offered to let me live with them until I can buy my own place as I'm hoping to be on the property ladder by mid next year.

My close friend of many years has said I can rent a room in her place as she has a four bedroom house. She's asked for £250pm which will include all meals (she decided this), however they are a vegan family and I don't particularly enjoy the meals that they cook (lots of noodle type dishes). Obviously I would never be disrespectful and bring meat in the house but I will probably end up buying my own food anyway (boring meals such as jacket potato, beans on toast etc etc).

The bedroom is on the small side and will only fit a single bed in with a small chest of drawers so I will need to pay for a storage unit. I work full time and will be in the house during the evenings and sometimes weekends. Shower once a day and maybe wash my clothes once/twice a week, although I could do that at my parents house if needs be. I'm clean and tidy and have already told her I will help out around the house (one reason I've chosen to live with friend as she's similar to me). She's told me that her council tax won't increase if I move in.

I was thinking of asking her if she'd be happy to accept £200pm and I will sort my own food out, but wanted to get Mumsnet opinions first. I don't want to fall out with a friend, especially over money and ultimately it is her decision, but what do you all think? Would it upset you if I asked the question? She did let slip the other day that she use to charge her sister £120 to rent the same room, but I appreciate family will always get a discount!

@Arethechildreninbedyet

We are a vegan/veggie household and if my best friend needed a home not only would I allow her whatever food she wanted I would actively encourage it.

I don’t know her financial position but renting the room for £250 also isn’t something I’d do. I’d charge her for her share of the bills but wouldn’t look to turn a profit.

Thank her for her offer but turn it down.

@Arethechildreninbedyet

People really act like Vegans are allergic to meat don’t they 😂

If you would be heating up the food at night could you ask your friend to just leave you the vegetable part seperate and then you could just heat up some pasta or boil some potatoes to go with it? If you're in an area where you can get cheaper rooms to rent, then I wouldn't bother, but if it's lower than going rate, then it might be okay.
Also, do you have a lot of furniture? Would the cost of storage outset the cost of buying new stuff when you buy your permanent place? It might be worth selling your bits and saving on storage and seeing what bits you can get in the future? You never know how long it will take to buy somewhere. I personally had a storage unit once and it wasn't worth it.

250 isn’t rent - it’s a fair contribution to living costs. So they are offering to have you stay as a friend and not a lodger - it will be a nightmare for them if you insist on taking over the kitchen for your own preferences when it suits you and disruptive to their family life. Don’t ruin the friendship just stay somewhere else.

I currently pay £400pm for a two bed flat and will pay friend £250 for a small box room so it just doesn't seem worth it...

It’s not worth it! £150 for an extra bedroom & the freedom to do what you want? I’m in the south east and your mum would charge you more than £250 for your room down here 😂 average is about £600 to rent a room!

It’s all comparative isn’t it? But if you can rent a 2 bed where you are for £400 I’d say your mate is taking the piss.

Why is everyone saying it’s cheap? It’s not! It’s all relative. It’s cheap for London of course, but if a two-bed flat in that area is £400 pcm, a room should be around 150. They’re charging you more because of food.

I would look for a house share with strangers where you can store your things, and maintain your relationships with family and friends without strain.

@WendyYourExcellency

Why is everyone saying it’s cheap? It’s not! It’s all relative. It’s cheap for London of course, but if a two-bed flat in that area is £400 pcm, a room should be around 150. They’re charging you more because of food.

I would look for a house share with strangers where you can store your things, and maintain your relationships with family and friends without strain.

I'm in the north west, its cheap for here. £400 for a two bed flat is on the lower price scale too.

This definitely has disaster written all over it, I wouldn’t want to be dictated to regarding meals and if you can’t even cook what you want to eat you are like to spend a few miserable months tip toeing around someone’s house, just doesn’t sound ideal or very relaxing

You will 100% not be friends by the end of it. Much better to stay with someone you don't know or an acquaintance that way anything shitty they do you can distance yourself permanently if it's that bad.

£250 power month is dirt cheap!

My son is in a house share in Hull, so not an expensive part of the country, he pays £520 per month and still has to pay for his own food on top of that.

My partner is moving in soon. Hes going to give me £250 a month to help towards bills and allow me to save a little. He will do his own food (religious and cultural reasons for this). Its cheaper than the £575 he was paying to rent a room in a house.

Yes it's cheeky. That's a cheap rent.

Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to reply, share their opinion and give advice, really appreciate it. I did say yesterday that I've chosen not to move in with my friend. I think in the long run it will just cause issues, especially with the meals and sharing space. and our friendship means more to me

[quote Bangersandmash5]@Pumperthepumper the price is also the issue... I currently pay £400pm for a two bed flat and will pay friend £250 for a small box room so it just doesn't seem worth it... it's not all about the bacon butties...[/quote]
But does the 400pcm include all utilities? Gas, electricity, water, council tax, tv license, broadband etc?

Don’t move in .. you will be moving out very shortly at this rate. Save your friendship. Do you get on with your parents? Go there instead.

@tara66

The GBP250 is to include the food the OP does not want. She is therefore entitled to a discount. I also think she should be allowed food that she wants to eat that is not all veg. - such as store bought cottage pie for one that only needs re heating and does not need to be stored.

She's not 'entitled' to anything.

WTAF should she be allowed to bring food into the house that her friends are ethically against? Don't be daft! It's their house.

Vegan food isn't just 'veg'.

I'd make other arrangements. Living with a really strict vegan can be trying. I've known a few who would not allow you to cook a meat or animal product in their pans, or eat it from their dishes. Kosher kitchens are nothing compared. You would be far more comfortable in the long run living with someone whose lifestyle more closely matches your own. I can see little resentments growing big here over time.

And that said, should you decide to life with her, then it is totally reasonable to ask for the reduction in cost.,.but you must never, ever eat a single meal prepared by them.

Don't live with your friend. Find flatmates in simular situation to yours.

Sorry just saw your post. Right decision

Shared houses round here are at least £450 for a single room. LHR area

I'm glad you have more options OP, I agree that matching lifestyles is an important part of this.

I would not be charging the equivalent of my mortgage each month.. I would expect costs to be covered at best, but that is just me.

The costs to cover are increased use of utilities, water if on a meter, might need to upgrade internet for the extra load, possible increase or change in insurance and things like that along with the loss in space of that bedroom, storing additional supplies, and giving space for others to cook and deal with their other needs. These can quickly add up before putting in the time it can take to organize all that and maintain shared areas.

The cost of the mortgage is mostly irrelevant to covering costs of living with someone @fromdownwest. Many have low mortgage costs for while higher costs in other areas - mine has been cut more than half this year by moving, but I've had increases in other housing-related costs. I think you've been unduly harsh to your friend to base your feelings on the rent they asked for solely on their mortgage.

@BiBabbles

I'm glad you have more options OP, I agree that matching lifestyles is an important part of this.

I would not be charging the equivalent of my mortgage each month.. I would expect costs to be covered at best, but that is just me.

The costs to cover are increased use of utilities, water if on a meter, might need to upgrade internet for the extra load, possible increase or change in insurance and things like that along with the loss in space of that bedroom, storing additional supplies, and giving space for others to cook and deal with their other needs. These can quickly add up before putting in the time it can take to organize all that and maintain shared areas.

The cost of the mortgage is mostly irrelevant to covering costs of living with someone @fromdownwest. Many have low mortgage costs for while higher costs in other areas - mine has been cut more than half this year by moving, but I've had increases in other housing-related costs. I think you've been unduly harsh to your friend to base your feelings on the rent they asked for solely on their mortgage.

What additional costs are there other than buildings insurance?

We went 1/3 on SKy, Gas, electric and council tax.

So I don't think I was being harsh when two of us were charged DOUBLE their mortgage payment, when all other costs were shared equally.

I don't know where you live and so can only judge on the basis of London renting, which would be at least £80 a room pw and probably not in a particularly nice house. For something more comfortable you would be paying around £120 pw, or possibly more, with no food.

I think it would be awkward trying to cater for yourself and might be disruptive.

It might be better if you could find somewhere else for the next year. It can be difficult living with other people and little things can start to become irritating. It would be a shame to spoil your friendship.

You sound lovely Bangers, good luck with the future and getting on the housing ladder.