Cheeky request? Would this upset you?

[Bangersandmash5]

I've rented a flat on my own for the last five years but due to various reasons will be moving out at the end of December. Lots of family and friends have kindly offered to let me live with them until I can buy my own place as I'm hoping to be on the property ladder by mid next year.

My close friend of many years has said I can rent a room in her place as she has a four bedroom house. She's asked for £250pm which will include all meals (she decided this), however they are a vegan family and I don't particularly enjoy the meals that they cook (lots of noodle type dishes). Obviously I would never be disrespectful and bring meat in the house but I will probably end up buying my own food anyway (boring meals such as jacket potato, beans on toast etc etc).

The bedroom is on the small side and will only fit a single bed in with a small chest of drawers so I will need to pay for a storage unit. I work full time and will be in the house during the evenings and sometimes weekends. Shower once a day and maybe wash my clothes once/twice a week, although I could do that at my parents house if needs be. I'm clean and tidy and have already told her I will help out around the house (one reason I've chosen to live with friend as she's similar to me). She's told me that her council tax won't increase if I move in.

I was thinking of asking her if she'd be happy to accept £200pm and I will sort my own food out, but wanted to get Mumsnet opinions first. I don't want to fall out with a friend, especially over money and ultimately it is her decision, but what do you all think? Would it upset you if I asked the question? She did let slip the other day that she use to charge her sister £120 to rent the same room, but I appreciate family will always get a discount!

@PurpleDaisies

I've never charged anyone to stay in my home. I think charging your friends to stay with you for a few months is really... low.

It's different if you rent a room out all the time to make ends meet and a friend applies to stay when a lodger leaves, but it's another thing entirely to make £250 a month which you dont need from a friend when they only need a short term stay.

I've had plenty friends stay, back at uni when I had a flat in a city and friends were doing work placements and now that I have a house and friends are in that in-between stage of leaving rental and getting onto the property ladder.

I would just suck that up if its only for a few months, £250 inclusive of food and bills is pretty cheap and will allow you to save money. Buy a few snacks to keep you going and take nice food in for lunch at work.

I have a friend who has rented her second bedroom to a few friends over the years. Pretty much her only ‘rule’ is that they have to eat together in the evenings. She doesn’t want the faff of someone cooking a separate dinner, creating twice the washing up, sneaking dishes off to their room, needing extra fridge space, etc. She likes it to feel like a household, not a house share, and only rents to people who she knows very well for that reason.

All this to say that your friend might see you bringing in your own food as more of an inconvenience, not less, and therefore a rent reduction might not be as appropriate as you think.

Have the conversation with your friend but don’t mention money. Just say something like ‘I’m a bit concerned about whether we’ll want to eat the same things every night, would you mind me making myself a jacket potato instead sometimes? And see what she says.

really really try not to do it if you want to keep your friend

If she's currently the only adult her council tax will go up

Also if she's strict vegan it won't just be meat she might be uncomfortable with you keeping in her kitchen. If no non vegan food items are welcome in the house, then you will be eating vegan food at home anyway.

I've never charged anyone to stay in my home. I think charging your friends to stay with you for a few months is really... low.
I would much prefer to pay a friend something to stay and I would say £250 for accom and meals, is a nominal sum, not a market rent.
It draws a clear boundary around expectations and would hopefully prevent any resentment, if you have stuck to the rules.

Bad idea.

Move back with your parents. It will make you save up twice as fast and the relationship will survive.

I think it would be cheeky. If you intend to cook your own food that is going to cost her money - extra gas/ electricity to cook it, and for a fridge of your own if you need one and running the hot water more often to wash up. That will take quite a chunk from the £50 a week you would be paying her.

Also, she may well not want meat in her kitchen at all.

I would look elsewhere for a room. I am also amazed that you could get somewhere to live for only £50 per week. Even students in grotty student lets around here pay double that.

Super cheap! I wouldn’t negotiate, if I wasn’t happy with price I’d find somewhere else to live.

This whole situation sounds like a bad idea.

Thanks for all the responses. I can definitely see where you're all coming from and to answer some of your questions-

Spending time/using space in the kitchen shouldn't be an issue (I don't think) as they all eat around 6pm as the kids go to bed at 7. They rarely eat after the kids have gone up unless they are ordering a takeaway etc.
I don't finish work until 6 either so I'm more than happy to wait until they've left the kitchen and will obviously clean up after myself. I won't be making fancy meals, maybe a jacket potato in the microwave or a freezer pizza so won't be making massive amounts of noise or mess and sometimes I will even buy something on the way home. I don't eat in my own bedroom at my place so would never dream of doing it in someone else's house. I wouldn't need much space in the fridge/cupboards (small tins don't take up much space do they?)

Council tax will not go up as her partner lives there already.

I agree £250 is extremely cheap but she specifically said that she was only charging that amount because she would include the food, which has left me wondering if she'd reduce the price if I bought my own food.

Of course I don't expect to live for free and if she won't accept that amount, I would never dream of pushing it further, but I just wanted to see if it was cheeky to ask the question in the first place..

I live alone and would find it really hard to adjust to somebody else's food timetable, particularly if they were serving food that I didn't particularly like, and I could see it ending up in unspoken resentment on both sides. If I was you I would probably end up eating out more, or eating takeaways in the car or something and then resent that I was paying twice for food, she might get offended if you are not there every meal time and appreciative of the cuisine, or helping to cook and clear up or whatever she thought the arrangement would be.

It sounds like she's decided how life is going to be with you there without really considering what you want. Can you talk to her and say this this is what's bothering you? She might be worried that if you cook for yourself that even if you aren't bringing meat into the house you would still bring in dairy products. I'm vegetarian and wouldn't want a meat eater to keep meat in the fridge and use my equipment to cook it.

Also, you don't actually know how long you will be staying there, it could be more than a few months.

On balance it sounds like it could be a recipe for friendship disaster!

I suspect that she doesn't want you in the kitchen and that's why she's offered to do your food, not for the money.

I wouldn't do it, I couldn't live somewhere where I couldn't choose what I wanted to eat, and possibly wouldn't be allowed to bring my own food in. Say no OP

In that case just say, I think I’d prefer to arrange/prepare my own food, would that have an impact on the rent? I wouldn’t suggest a price, let her decide. ( if they are eating at 6 and you are not home until 6, that sounds potentially tricky anyway).

I think you either accept her (to my mind quite reasonable) offer, or make a different arrangement.

Sorry if I didn't explain myself properly in the last message. Even if I were to eat her meals I would never make it back in time from work to sit down and eat with them as a family. I would have to reheat it and eat it later.

@Itsalmostanaccessory

Live with one of the other people who have offered. This one is totally seeing you as a cash cow.

£250 is hardly cash cow territory!!

That's really cheap. Where do I sign??

Would you be buying yourself all vegan food? I suspect she may not want non vegan food in the house

I wouldn't in a million years dream of charging a friend for temporary accommodation.

OP, you might be better to find another arrangement.

Honestly, if my friend tried to negotiate me down from an already cheap offer, it would put me off the whole arrangement.

Can you go with a compromise, i.e. you eat with them at weekends but not in the evenings? Given that you won't be back in time for evening meals anyway it seems to make sense. And maybe suggest £220 a week?

I charge my own son more than that, and he's getting an absolute bargain.

Don't do it.

For that money, buy a big van and kit it out as a camper. Sell it when you have a roof.