People who really love and enjoy life, what's the secret?

[zorrow]

Have been going through what I think is an existential crisis for quite some time and just wondered, what is it that makes some people love their life so much? Is it their mindset? Is it money? Is it relationships?

Such an inspirational thread.
My in laws never took exercise, smoked heavily until their late seventies and drank daily. However they were very happy people. They lived to socialise and had a lot of fun. They both died in their late eighties having lived a full and happy life.
My father died in his early seventies. He gave up smoking in his twenties and exercised regularly. He rarely drank. He was miserable most of his life despite having enough money in his later years for lovely holidays and a lovey home . He didn’t really know how to enjoy himself and he didn’t like other people. Food for thought.

I'm one of the ones who's happy and likes life, I don't need much to be happy, wages £25k, small house, never moved up the chain. Never want anything for birthdays etc, Im just not fussed. Just expect my family to love me and accept my flaws. I love them and accept their flaws. I accept life isn't perfect. That shit does happen and that it can be unfair and just try my best.
That and probably just being that way.

Hope it helps op, take care. Hope things get better for you.

Being brought up by a mum who moaned about everything and totally failed to see that actually she had a pretty nice life. Made me determined to enjoy life. Also counselling!

Thought about this thread since I posted yesterday.
I think a personality trait that helps make me content is that I am not emotional. I don't have ups or downs, just jog along the middle. I don't understand people who create and thrive on drama.
The only time I have felt different was during and after pregnancy. Those hormones made me feel things I never have before or since, and not always in a good way.

@DaisyNGO

But health and money are MASSIVE factors for me. Ain't nothing going on but the rent...

This. ^ Of course we all need to be in good health, but money is a huge factor is being happy in life. Being poor/in debt is fucking shit, and causes stress, relationship issues, and mental health problems.

I don't mean you have to be a millionaire, I mean be solvent, have quite a bit more money coming in than you have going out, and a minimum of a low to middle 5-figure sum in savings... Me and my DH are much happier in life now that we are solvent, we have a good savings pot, a good pension, no debt, and no mortgage.

I believe that, to some extent, happiness is a choice. You can decide to have a good day or have a bad day depending on how you react to things. I’m not talking about massive stuff, like bereavements or serious illness, but those everyday minor irritations that some people just seem to let get on top of them. Those things will always happen and it’s best to just say fuck it.

It's a billions to 1 chance that Earth came into being and can sustain life. More millions to 1 chances that my DNA lined up to make me. Thousands to 1 chance I'm in this place on Earth and at this time, which despite the problems is probably the best ever time to be alive for human. I’m secure, healthy, well fed, have a comfortable home.

Worrying about tiny things, compared to the infinity of the universe is pointless. I just embrace the miracle that I came into being at all and enjoy it.

@Voord

I believe that, to some extent, happiness is a choice. You can decide to have a good day or have a bad day depending on how you react to things. I’m not talking about massive stuff, like bereavements or serious illness, but those everyday minor irritations that some people just seem to let get on top of them. Those things will always happen and it’s best to just say fuck it.

This is what dh says. He's a pretty chilled person.

Another thing - don't get upset by things that make absolutely zero difference to your life.
Every day on mn, you get 'I'm fuming because...'

1. Someone didn't send me a thank you card
2. Someone walked on my lawn
3. Someone ignored me at the school gate
4. Someone didn't respond to my text.

Etc etc Just let it go.

Time. Time to do what you want, time for you, time to spend with family, time to relax. I feel so time poor I often wake at 2am and sneak downstairs to rattle off some work. And then of course im tired and irritable and unhappy.

@dustofneptune thank you. I'm glad my post resonated with you :)

Fun things I do include:
Going on a walk up one of the hills/mountains near us.
Cooking something new for lunch/dinner.
Setting the table nicely once in a while so that I get to use one of my favourite table runners.
Buying myself a bunch of flowers.
Walking a new route home/from A to B and really paying attention to the architecture that I pass.
Crafting - at the moment I'm making stars out of air dry clay for Christmas.
Going somewhere new (even just locally) and challenging myself to take a really great or interesting photo on my phone.
Foraging for something - materials for a wreath at this time of year.
Sitting in a coffee shop having a cappuccino out of a beautiful cup and reading a book.

I hope there are some ideas here for you!

@PhilCornwall1

A large amount of medication does it for me.

Codeine 4 times a day provides a silver lining most of the time.

Are you prescribed codeine for depression or pain? Whenever I’ve had it, it’s certainly made me feel very calm.

I've wondered loads about this. I am one of the lucky ones who loves life and I've come to the conclusion that it is mainly down to personality type and good mental health - neither of which we have much control over. You can do things to help yourself feel happier, but to be one of those people who are always cheerful and optimistic is pure luck.

Don't be a people pleaser.
Live simply (but be creative).
Do things you enjoy.
Stop doing things or spending time with people that don't make you feel good.
Do work that challenges you, but makes you feel like you're contributing to something more than yourself.
Stop caring what other people think.
Try to reduce the amount of stress you experience.
And most importantly, if you can, take HRT

@SturminsterNewton many years ago I read a book which had that philosophy. I think it was by one of the early positive thinking/ think and grow rich crowd. Did you read the book by any chance? I've searched but can't find it. Might be called The Miracle or similar.

I just adore my husband to pieces. He’s my best friend and I couldn’t imagine life without him. Sounds cheesy but I really couldn’t care less. I also love my son to bits and now he’s getting older I’m really enjoying seeing him happy with his girlfriend who is lovely too. Having been so sad with my ex in the past, I know what things can be like which is why I’m so smug I guess ❤️

Some folk are born just jolly - like Alison Hammond - others are just not.

I am very happy 80% of the time and really love life. I appreciate and am grateful for life everyday. Take pleasure in the smallest things whether that’s a beautiful tree, delicious meal or watching my kids.

I think the secret is to let the shit go. As I write this my leaving room looks quite messy/chaotic but I don’t let it bother me.

I prioritise happiness. I’m kind to myself and make sure I do activities that make my heart sing.

I’m an atheist, and very aware we have one life and to enjoy it as fully as possible.

If I ever am unhappy I feel terrible as it’s not my usual state. I don’t often get angry or grumpy but if I do…I’ll go for a run, meditate, write down feelings, plan goals, listen to music etc…

I’m a bit chubby and probably would be happier thinner - but that is what it is! Happiness is my priority.

[quote Pinkhippotato]@SturminsterNewton many years ago I read a book which had that philosophy. I think it was by one of the early positive thinking/ think and grow rich crowd. Did you read the book by any chance? I've searched but can't find it. Might be called The Miracle or similar.[/quote]
I've just remembered! The Greatest Miracle In The World by Og Mandino

Technosaurus those are wise words! Totally a blueprint for a happy life. All things I try to do.

Sertraline

Without it I have no sense of humour and am hard work to he around!

For me, surround myself with kind, non-judgemental people. I only manage to do that online.

I lived with an older female friend for a year or two when a relationship broke up some years ago. She has a real gift for life and living. She worked, was a union rep and did useful responsible stuff in her daily life.

She had a great small group of long term friends, was always up for trying new things from dance class to driving to choir. She relished making good food, bread, even smoking a cig and having a glass of wine you could see she would draw out the full enjoyment of the moment.

Her life wasn't perfect but she was self sufficient and she enjoyed things with great gusto - even a big clean up of the house. She balances relaxing and humour and sensual pleasures of simple things like a bath and a cup of tea alongside her purpose and work. Yes she was lucky, she was gifted a flat from her family so had no mortgage. But she had problems just like we all do - relationships going wrong, bad neighbours, sometimes a co-worker she found difficult and so on. But she would bounce back from these things.

She loves to have long chats, and she always had a cat or two. She really has taught me a lot about enjoying life, as I am a total worry pot and often live in past/future. She showed me how to enjoy the good things in the now. I hope I can cultivate that as I go through life.

She also reads a lot. Jeeves and Wooster always next to the loo for reading, and also Viz.

Looks on the sunny side of things and doesn't take life too seriously.

I don't understand the question. What's not to enjoy if your health is reasonable, you have food and shelter, life is great - I read, craft, walk, enjoy nature, forage and make preserves, study, listen to drama and podcasts, and cuddle - and sometimes swear at - my curmudgeonly ginger cat - life is sweet, every day a joy, a good dinner, or even a good cup of coffee, seeing a cute squirrel, finding a new walk, listening to birds, feeding the birds...... I'm never bored, never not glad to be alive