Page 8 | AIBU to want my mat leave plus promotion

MiniPumpkin · 2021-11-21T21:04:51+00:00

Need to post this to get some perspective or give my head a wobble.. whatever you all think .. So been with large organisation for 10 years, promoted posts are few and far between, to put into context it has come up three times in the 10 years I’ve been there, including during my mat leave with dc1. Now on mat leave with dc2 it’s come up again. I want the job, always have and I’m pretty career driven but of course I also want my mat leave to continue. I want what I am entitled to which is my entire maternity leave. And I want promotion. If I get it they will want me back early. I’m just sick of well, being female ? Woman’s careers are so disadvantaged if you ask me, I turned down a job (with another organisation) when ttc with dc1 as I wouldn’t get as good mat leave pay.. then of course you can’t go anywhere/leave when pregnant as you will lose the maternity pay. Now I feel I want this job but feel I will just be discriminated against, I wont get it as they will just say I didn’t do as well because they will no doubt prefer to give it to someone not on mat leave. Not even sure of point in this post, I need somewhere to vent and get perspective. I feel like saying stuff it and just wait till my mat leave is over but who knows when the next opportunity will be and it really annoys me…

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/11/2021 11:46

OP they will give your application way more thought than the rest as they will want to make sure they legally do everything they should due to you being on Mat leave.

Given the last interview outcome, hey would leave themselves wide open to litigation if they didnt even invite you to interview.

MilduraS · 22/11/2021 12:14

Just to add to the positive stories... the manager 2 levels above me applied for a promotion and got it 3 weeks before she started maternity leave. Someone internal was seconded into her role for the year she was away. I also know of a junior member of staff who applied for another role a few months before her maternity leave. She got it and they have another person in on a fixed term contract until she's back.

SickAndTiredAgain · 22/11/2021 12:16

I am On month 5 of 9 into my mat leave.

So you have less than four months left?
Definitely apply then. With that many applicants I guess the shortlisting takes a little while, then interviews, then factor in Christmas and people being on leave etc. They might only be waiting 2/3 months for you which really isn’t that long.

User5252727 · 22/11/2021 12:19

@Ericaequites

You choose to have two children and have two maternity leaves. If you are out on maternity, it’s unlikely you will be offered a promotion when they need someone now. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Yes you can, because anything else is ✨discrimination✨

OP you absolutely aren't being unreasonable. If they're saying you would have to return early to get the promotion, it's discrimination and it's illegal.

I was promoted while on mat leave and it didn't affect my leave at all. Responsible, law abiding companies don't discriminate against parents.

I would go wholeheartedly for the promotion. If you don't get it, I would be asking for a very detailed breakdown of their reasons, and if they aren't absolutely solid and evidenced, I would speak to your union or a lawyer.

Jaxhog · 22/11/2021 12:23

And this is why women suffer in the workplace - yes its shit if you need someone for a position now, but the reality is a lot of women are fucking good at their jobs, and shouldnt be discriminated against because they are not available for a pre determined time

Do you realise how ridiculous this last bit sounds! Very few companies can afford to promote someone who won't be there to do the new more-senior job. What are they supposed to do in the meantime? Of course, it seems unfair. But, ultimately, it is your choice.

BigFatLiar · 22/11/2021 12:40

I'll go with - if you want it apply.

Depends on the role and how sought after it is.

Candidate A - highly qualified/suitable available after her maternity leave
Candidate B - highly qualified/suitable available straight away

Which would you choose

Extended absence can happen to any of us and not just for maternity (sickness/accident).

Twizbe · 22/11/2021 12:47

With 4 months leave left def go for it.

If the closing date is next week then they won't be ready to invite to first round until beginning of Dec. Then with 1 week notice of an interview you're already looking at mid December. Once you get to the schools breaking up there's no point having interviews as hiring managers, interviewers and candidates are likely to be on annual leave.

So Jan for second rounds then at least 4 weeks notice for any candidate and bam you're in February already.

Rumplestrumpet · 22/11/2021 12:49

@Jaxhog

And this is why women suffer in the workplace - yes its shit if you need someone for a position now, but the reality is a lot of women are fucking good at their jobs, and shouldnt be discriminated against because they are not available for a pre determined time

Do you realise how ridiculous this last bit sounds! Very few companies can afford to promote someone who won't be there to do the new more-senior job. What are they supposed to do in the meantime? Of course, it seems unfair. But, ultimately, it is your choice.

Thankfully the law dictates that it's not the employee's choice to be discriminated against. It may seem ridiculous to you, but that's the law.

WingingIt101 · 22/11/2021 12:55

Hi op just wanted to add my story - I was approached on may leave by a competitor headhunting me. I said that all sounds wonderful but I’m on mat leave and I won’t be returning to work for 7 months so you prob won’t want me - I’m currently typing this from that very company.

Ignore the hideously outdated views that maternity leave or choosing to have children should rule you out. The whole system is set up to hold women back - my husband and I would have shared parental leave but his org (my old company) said men only get two weeks paid and women get 12 months full pay so it was a choice between putting my career on hold or not paying our mortgage!

Go for it - you won’t regret trying!

SpinsForGin · 22/11/2021 12:56

Do you realise how ridiculous this last bit sounds! Very few companies can afford to promote someone who won't be there to do the new more-senior job. What are they supposed to do in the meantime? Of course, it seems unfair. But, ultimately, it is your choice.

Thankfully the law disagrees with you.

Pawprintpaper · 22/11/2021 13:02

I think you should also go for it OP as the more women deterred from applying in these circumstances, the more that it adds to the culture of assuming women are less interested in their careers post kids. Not that you are responsible for what happens to other women, but even if you don’t get this promotion, it shows you are motivated to advance long term.

Original poster

MiniPumpkin · 22/11/2021 13:06

Yeah I start month 5 of my leave today ! So 4 months I’ll be due to go back.. I feel daft now, you are right in saying the time they recruit and put in a notice period we will be talking end of jan I think. If that happened I would only be returning 8 weeks early I suppose. I think I’ve been quite negative re discrimination, it’s terrible but I feel if they don’t want you they will just adjust the scorers to say you didn’t do as well as x. Anyway I won’t know if I don’t try!
I’m so glad I posted, it’s been really interesting. I will update you all on what happens x

OP posts:

PooWillyNameChange · 22/11/2021 13:08

Please go for it. I interviewed for a promotion last week 36 weeks pregnant and have been given the unofficial nod. I work for big 4. I don't know what your industry is like but I really really hope this isn't held against you

TractorAndHeadphones · 22/11/2021 13:09

@BigFatLiar

I'll go with - if you want it apply.

Depends on the role and how sought after it is.

Candidate A - highly qualified/suitable available after her maternity leave
Candidate B - highly qualified/suitable available straight away

Which would you choose

Extended absence can happen to any of us and not just for maternity (sickness/accident).

No two candidates will be exactly the same apart from mat leave… If thé benefit of having a candidate start quickly is better than they will pick them. It all depends on what they bring to the table.

Also discrimination relates to being discourage from applying/not granted interview. They don’t have to get it. Unless the person eventually chosen for the role is unsuitable how to prove discrimination

TractorAndHeadphones · 22/11/2021 13:10

Also go for it OP! Good luck

Dishwashersaurous · 22/11/2021 13:15

Just seen your update. Definitely apply.

If its only just advertised then they won't expect anyone until January, mid to late, as you say.

So you are only talking about 2 months to negotiate. Not a whole year, which would be the situation if you applied in late pregnancy.

Get your husband to take a days annual leave look after the baby and really focus on the application

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 22/11/2021 13:19

I sit on lots of panels and would never lower marks to discriminate! If thats how you think of your work setting its maybe time for you to move on. I would be so upset if anyone i interviewed thought that way. We often are a panel of at least 4 so what you are suggesting is several senior mgrs being in cahoots along with HR??

ElftonWednesday · 22/11/2021 13:25

@BigFatLiar

I'll go with - if you want it apply.

Depends on the role and how sought after it is.

Candidate A - highly qualified/suitable available after her maternity leave
Candidate B - highly qualified/suitable available straight away

Which would you choose

Extended absence can happen to any of us and not just for maternity (sickness/accident).

In the current job market it may well be a choice between

Candidate A - highly qualified/suitable available after her maternity leave

and that's it.

LBOCS2 · 22/11/2021 13:26

@IWentAwayIStayedAway

I sit on lots of panels and would never lower marks to discriminate! If thats how you think of your work setting its maybe time for you to move on. I would be so upset if anyone i interviewed thought that way. We often are a panel of at least 4 so what you are suggesting is several senior mgrs being in cahoots along with HR??

This. We have a structured marking system, we always interview in panel and quite often now the first interviews are being done on Teams, they are recorded too. If you're concerned that your company or hiring manager might be doing this, I'd be seriously considering if this was a company I wanted to work for.

As PP said - if they recruited externally, quite apart from the CV sifting/complete lack of urgency which seems to come from HR (just ours?!), it's becoming more standard for candidates to have a three month notice period - factor in Christmas and offers going out in Jan, and that takes you up to March anyway!

ElftonWednesday · 22/11/2021 13:27

@AudacityBaby

others are constantly learning, training and gaining new experiences. Often those people are women who have had children.

Do you have any evidence for this?

Do you have any evidence that it doesn't?

ElftonWednesday · 22/11/2021 13:32

[quote AudacityBaby]**@tractorandheadphones* I agree, but it's really common in professions to have a PQE-requirement. It's supposed to recognise that those who've been practising longer will have been exposed to more complex issues and without supervision. Someone who has 7 years PQE but has only been in the office for 3 years will have less* exposure to those things than someone who has 5 years PQE but has been there that entire time. That's the problem.[/quote]
really common in professions to have a PQE-requirement

Yes it is, because many firms are FUCKING DINOSAURS who do not employ any women in a fee-earning role over the age of 35.

Most senior jobs I see state 5+ years PQE, occasionally 10. A lot of women returning from mat leave will be at least ten years PQE. At that level, it's not how many years but the quality of the experience that is important.

Original poster

MiniPumpkin · 22/11/2021 13:35

I think I am sceptical re the marking given what some people have said to me about how they performed, done a half assed application and answers they gave, maybe they were just cock sure of themselves and talking rubbish ? (Ones who were successful) I’m not sure what role hr have as they don’t sit on the panel, I thought they would be notified of the successful candidate. Would they look for that evidence re scoring from the panel ?

OP posts:

Dishwashersaurous · 22/11/2021 13:36

A northern one who says three months notice period seems standard

turnaroundtime · 22/11/2021 13:36

@Ericaequites

You choose to have two children and have two maternity leaves. If you are out on maternity, it’s unlikely you will be offered a promotion when they need someone now. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

It the father chose to have two children and doesn't have his career curtailed

Marvellousmadness · 22/11/2021 13:45

You want a career but you also wanted 2 kids. Those things don't really go handing hand. One of them will suffer .You made choices ..

But there are still choices to be made that you have influence on. By returning earlier from mat leave for example

But I think you are getting ahead of yourself. You don't even know you are even considered for the job/likely to get the job .

So apply first. Then deal with what will come