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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my mat leave plus promotion

299 replies

MiniPumpkin · 21/11/2021 21:04

Need to post this to get some perspective or give my head a wobble.. whatever you all think ..
So been with large organisation for 10 years, promoted posts are few and far between, to put into context it has come up three times in the 10 years I’ve been there, including during my mat leave with dc1. Now on mat leave with dc2 it’s come up again. I want the job, always have and I’m pretty career driven but of course I also want my mat leave to continue. I want what I am entitled to which is my entire maternity leave. And I want promotion. If I get it they will want me back early.
I’m just sick of well, being female ? Woman’s careers are so disadvantaged if you ask me, I turned down a job (with another organisation) when ttc with dc1 as I wouldn’t get as good mat leave pay.. then of course you can’t go anywhere/leave when pregnant as you will lose the maternity pay. Now I feel I want this job but feel I will just be discriminated against, I wont get it as they will just say I didn’t do as well because they will no doubt prefer to give it to someone not on mat leave.
Not even sure of point in this post, I need somewhere to vent and get perspective. I feel like saying stuff it and just wait till my mat leave is over but who knows when the next opportunity will be and it really annoys me…

OP posts:
Rangoon · 22/11/2021 05:13

It's probably churlish of me but I got no maternity pay, worked up to 39 weeks and was back at work 6 weeks after a c-seaction and did it twice so it's hard for me to see you as hard done by.

4amstarts · 22/11/2021 05:18

@Rangoon

It's probably churlish of me but I got no maternity pay, worked up to 39 weeks and was back at work 6 weeks after a c-seaction and did it twice so it's hard for me to see you as hard done by.

This.

I was also back at 20 weeks both times - second time with twins. I earn 4x DH so no choice.

Yogaandcocoa · 22/11/2021 05:18

I can see both sides too. I'm on mat leave and just been promoted. It didn't occur to me I wouldn't get it but it's more of me getting the next step up than filling in a vacancy if you see what I mean so doesn't really make a difference to them.

If they need someone to fill a role now then it is difficult if you're not there.

But a man with two kids wouldn't be disadvantaged at all, that's the point. It is automatically assumed that the woman takes the mat leave and the hit to her carer

It's not just assumed. OP is the one on mat leave not her partner. If a man were out of the workplace for a year then he might be disadvantaged too.

araiwa · 22/11/2021 05:27

Have you applied yet?

MoveAhoy · 22/11/2021 05:28

The "race to the bottom" posters and the "you can't have your cake and eat it" posters remind me of that scene in perfume where the mother has the baby under her stall and goes straight back to work selling her merchandise.

A uniquely female definition of going the extra mile to prove your worth and dedication.

MoveAhoy · 22/11/2021 05:34

Apply op. The worst they can say is no we can't wait. But if they think you are a good fit and the roadmap permits, it could work out best for everyone.
Sometimes it takes a while to fill a role. In those cases it's best to know someone knowledgeable will fill it rather than might fill it.
It's up to you (not your employer) to know if you will go on to have more children and if you can commit to the role before you apply.

MoveAhoy · 22/11/2021 05:37

Argh that's confusing. I meant they might find someone else to fill the role but if that person is less knowledgeable, it's a risk to the business.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/11/2021 05:41

Plenty of jobs have a 3 month notice period, ergo not available immediately. Go for it.

Snorkello · 22/11/2021 06:00

Wow. I am shocked by some of these responses. Where is the female solidarity here? Why can’t OP expect her employer to treat her equally and have the right to mat leave to allow her the time to recover and bond with her baby? If they employed someone outside of the company, they might have to wait another 6 months to go through recruitment process, notice, training. Right now OP is a long-standing employee willing to progress. There’s no reason why she shouldn’t be seriously considered for the role.

This is why women are held back in their careers, because the view here is that OP shouldn't even apply?? Of course you should be entitled to both the promotion and mat leave.

OP, go for it. I know women who were promoted whilst on mat leave. They didn’t have to return early.

We are more than mothers. We should be entitled to progress our careers without sacrificing opportunities or family time. We already have to deal with pay gaps, gender bias, male dominated industries etc. it’s total BS.

RIPIgglePiggle · 22/11/2021 06:35

OP I had sextuplets by C section and was back to work the next day as I thought it was taking the piss to luxuriate on statutory maternity pay for months on end.

Please check your privilege

Namenic · 22/11/2021 06:39

Is there an option - as people said of shared parental leave for DP? I mean - go for the interview and see what they say.

I do kinda feel that some of the disadvantages of being female can be mitigated by a partner who is willing to take an equal parenting role. Of course some jobs are unsuitable IF you wish to do things like 1 year of breastfeeding (due to shift work and inadequacy of facilities) - but making the call about whether to cut it to 9months etc. is a choice that can be balanced with other things.

AnxiousPixie · 22/11/2021 06:42

Agree with others, go for it. I got my last promotion just before I went off (literally a month) and they were gone about it because they knew long term I was the right person for the job.

Also on more senior positions 3-6 mo notice period isn't uncommon these days so if they got someone from outside they wouldn't necessarily get someone earlier.

Good luck!!

Iamnotthe1 · 22/11/2021 06:43

Isn't this the point of being able to share leave now? I agree that maternity leave is absolutely responsible for the reduced promotion chances and pay for women. However, the only way that will get any better is if more maternity/paternity leave is split so that both men and women spend some time away from work following a baby.

Soontobe60 · 22/11/2021 06:50

@Ericaequites

You choose to have two children and have two maternity leaves. If you are out on maternity, it’s unlikely you will be offered a promotion when they need someone now. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
She absolutely can! Legally, your employer has to notify any employee who’s on maternity leave of any possible promotions that are available. You are equally allowed to apply as any other employee. You cannot be refused an interview on the grounds that you’re pregnant / on mat leave, nor can they force you to finish your mat leave early if you were to actually get the promotion.
Soontobe60 · 22/11/2021 06:52

@Rangoon

It's probably churlish of me but I got no maternity pay, worked up to 39 weeks and was back at work 6 weeks after a c-seaction and did it twice so it's hard for me to see you as hard done by.
It’s not a race to the bottom! I also only got 6 weeks mat leave but I’d fight to the bitter end to ensure mothers got as much leave as possible!
Peace43 · 22/11/2021 06:56

The OP hasn’t even applied. She’s moaning that she might not be fairly considered or might be asked to finish maternity leave early. YABU to complain if you haven’t actually applied and had these issues… you are just borrowing trouble!

ChateauMargaux · 22/11/2021 06:56

Apply anyway... negotiate when you have the offer in your hand...

OM82 · 22/11/2021 07:08

We've had this a couple of times where I work. It's civil service so more flexible /by the book (possibly) but when the person admit to be - or currently on maternity leave - has got the promotion they've just recruited the maternity cover post from the other candidates. Gives those people more experience/training and solves issues of having to do a second recruitment.

whosaidtha · 22/11/2021 07:08

Make them think you'll come back early without actually saying it. Once they've offered you the job tell them you'll continue you mat leave until x date. To then withdraw the promotion would be discriminatory.

Couchbettato · 22/11/2021 07:21

@whosaidtha

Make them think you'll come back early without actually saying it. Once they've offered you the job tell them you'll continue you mat leave until x date. To then withdraw the promotion would be discriminatory.
This. You need to read up about your employment rights through pregnancy and maternity leave OP.

You should not be denied a promotion on the grounds of either.

A business would need to show solid business reason for doing so.

For example if you'd be offered the job and then become pregnant they'd have needed to find you temp cover any way, so therefore being pregnant and/or on mat leave when applying should make no difference as it's a process they'd need to have a plan in place for any way for all female staff of childbearing age.

Dentistlakes · 22/11/2021 07:32

Just apply and see what happens. If you are the best person for the job then they will probably be happy to wait for you. Many jobs have 6-12 month notice periods, so it’s not unusual to have to wait for someone to start. Go for it and I hope you are successful!

tealandteal · 22/11/2021 07:36

First step is to apply, then wait for the closing date and then all the interviews to be completed. That may take a month. Then it is quite common to have 3 months notice. How far in to your maternity leave are you? You may be ready to start not long after an external hire anyway! Why don’t you apply and see what they say before making any decisions.

Figgit · 22/11/2021 07:37

You have nothing to lose by applying, and as many have said, notice periods may mean your mat leave doesn’t overlap at all.

Fwiw, I worked for a company where I wasn’t given an opportunity to apply for promotion while on mat leave. My dept merged with another, and the other teams’s manager was given the overall manager’s job (with me as her deputy) without it being advertised etc. We were the same level, etc. I was only told before the email announcement as a courtesy, ‘because my husband works there and he would have told me’! Then I discovered that the other manager had told the recruiting director that she knew I wanted to come back part time and that I wouldn’t want the job as it was full time! I hadn’t even applied for flexible working by that point.
That, among several other discriminatory acts towards me, resulted in a sizeable settlement.
I would hope that most workplaces have moved on from that sort of attitude, and if you’re the best candidate, OP, your mat leave shouldn’t make any difference.

KatherineJaneway · 22/11/2021 07:39

Apply for the role, if you get it you can negotiate a start date.

Hopefully your company isn't as unscrupulous as to deliberately not offer the role to the highest scoring candidate.

rwalker · 22/11/2021 07:40

Just apply you might be able to negotiate a start date that suits you. Being harsh why should you get to pick and choose when you start because you choses to have kids. Other people without kids couldn't thats discrimination .

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