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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want my mat leave plus promotion

299 replies

MiniPumpkin · 21/11/2021 21:04

Need to post this to get some perspective or give my head a wobble.. whatever you all think ..
So been with large organisation for 10 years, promoted posts are few and far between, to put into context it has come up three times in the 10 years I’ve been there, including during my mat leave with dc1. Now on mat leave with dc2 it’s come up again. I want the job, always have and I’m pretty career driven but of course I also want my mat leave to continue. I want what I am entitled to which is my entire maternity leave. And I want promotion. If I get it they will want me back early.
I’m just sick of well, being female ? Woman’s careers are so disadvantaged if you ask me, I turned down a job (with another organisation) when ttc with dc1 as I wouldn’t get as good mat leave pay.. then of course you can’t go anywhere/leave when pregnant as you will lose the maternity pay. Now I feel I want this job but feel I will just be discriminated against, I wont get it as they will just say I didn’t do as well because they will no doubt prefer to give it to someone not on mat leave.
Not even sure of point in this post, I need somewhere to vent and get perspective. I feel like saying stuff it and just wait till my mat leave is over but who knows when the next opportunity will be and it really annoys me…

OP posts:
GuidingSpirit · 21/11/2021 21:14

Are you sure they will want you back early? I sat a promotion interview at 34weeks pregnant and got told i was successful 2 days before i went on mat leave. They are holding the post for me for when i return. I'm public sector so appreciate it's often more flexible than private sector, but could you have an informal word with the hiring manager to see how the land lies?

Ericaequites · 21/11/2021 21:27

You choose to have two children and have two maternity leaves. If you are out on maternity, it’s unlikely you will be offered a promotion when they need someone now. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

BonesInTheOcean · 21/11/2021 21:30

@Ericaequites

You choose to have two children and have two maternity leaves. If you are out on maternity, it’s unlikely you will be offered a promotion when they need someone now. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
And this is why women suffer in the workplace - yes its shit if you need someone for a position now, but the reality is a lot of women are fucking good at their jobs, and shouldnt be discriminated against because they are not available for a pre determined time
NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 21/11/2021 21:38

Argh, I can absolutely see both sides. Yes women are disadvantaged, and the normal career-building trajectory totally clashes with fertility. I hate all the ways in which women are unnecessarily held back through motherhood, including mat pay considerations and the assumption that mothers aren't professionally ambitious etc.

However... on this point I can see why they wouldn't want to hold it for you, too. I would still apply, because they might! And might be able to simultaneously recruit your maternity cover through the same round, I've been in this position myself. And also because signalling ambition is generally useful (IME anyway - YMMV as imagine there are nuances to this).

I have known women who've cut short their mat leave for promotion opportunities - it's a price I would never be willing to pay, but these are women who will go further faster in their career than me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

It sucks OP. I would apply though!

Iliketeaagain · 21/11/2021 21:40

Surely the first step is to apply and interview. I'm assuming that since promotions are few and far between, there will be a fair bit of interest / competition, but you seem to have decided you'll be discriminated against before you've even thrown your hat in the ring.

It may well be that you get offered it if you're the best candidate and they hold the position until you are due back. It may well be that an external candidate gets it and none of the current employees who want a promotion gets it either.

I went for an interview when I was about 4 months into mat leave, I didn't get it, but it was because a far more experienced external candidate went for it and interviewed well (wasn't surprised tbh - it wasn't discrimination, my manager at the time called me and told me I should apply because they didn't come up often and when I met the candidate when I went back to work, she was far more experienced than I was). But the interview experience was worth it and people then knew I was interested in developing my career.

Puppyseahorse · 21/11/2021 21:44

I would definitely put my name forward and make clear how much I wanted the role. But I would also take a shorter maternity leave if this was a priority for me. It’s not reasonable to expect work to wait a year. And there’s no reason really for women to be disadvantaged by the sole fact that they’re the childbearers- if a role is a priority, then the option to take a shorter period of leave exists.

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/11/2021 21:56

Well - why don't you apply and see if you can work it out? They can't know you want it if you don't apply.

If you get it, there may be a way of working it out - eg Pt earlier return.

But if the job is a big priority long term, then returning early is probably a sacrifice worth making?

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/11/2021 21:58

... also - could your partner take the back end pf parental leave so you can return??

JurgensCakeBaby · 21/11/2021 22:06

I got promotion during mat leave, just started my new role when I went back

VimFuego101 · 21/11/2021 22:09

Have they actually stated you'd have to come back early or are you just assuming?

KickAssAngel · 21/11/2021 22:10

Plenty of men apply for jobs knowing that they can't start until after a certain date, because they're tied into a contract. Why shouldn't you apply? Go for it.

Wotsitsits · 21/11/2021 23:06

Just apply for the job. Stop stressing over it and just take action. Cross the bridge when you get to it re start date. Since you're a high performer there will be room for negotiation, but the secret to negotiation is you have to start it and assume it. Workplaces don't turn around to people and say would you like to negotiate higher pay / a different start date? You have to take the initiative.

Ps. YABU re mat pay. Most people get the legal minimum. You sound very privileged moaning about wanting more.

Good luck with promotion though. Def apply. Worst case scenario is nothing changes, you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain

TractorAndHeadphones · 21/11/2021 23:10

How do you know you won’t get it?
If you’re the best candidate they will wait for you

WomanStanleyWoman · 21/11/2021 23:56

If you’re good enough, they’ll wait for you. But they don’t owe you a promotion. If there is another candidate who they feel is just as good, but is available now (or sooner), why wouldn’t they choose them?

BungleandGeorge · 22/11/2021 00:03

In my experience they’ll hold it if they really want you. As someone mentioned it often takes a few months anyway by the time someone has worked notice/ finished contract. You can’t really complain before the event, just apply and see what happens!

Traveller3367 · 22/11/2021 03:05

I applied for a job at 7 months pregnant. Posted on here at the time only to be told I was BU even considering applying, that I should let others get the post that can start straight away etc etc
I got the job, have already done a few months of it and will be off on mat leave soon. They are happy to wait for me while I have 6 months off. I will be taking a shorter mat leave but the role is very sort time working from home so I'm hoping it'll be helpful for my sanity and not take me away from the children too much.
Oh and I got the role above male candidates with 20+ years experience (I have 3)!
So my advice would be to apply and ignore the naysayers. The more we normalise applying while pregnant, the more acceptable it will become! All the best :)

Traveller3367 · 22/11/2021 03:06

*part time

IDontDrinkTea · 22/11/2021 03:12

I got promoted while on maternity leave, and didn’t have to come back any earlier

lboogy · 22/11/2021 03:33

I could have written this post. Im a month into mat leave and have applied for a promotion. Interview is in 2 weeks.

I say go for it: the worst is that you don't get it

DockOTheBay · 22/11/2021 03:43

@Ericaequites

You choose to have two children and have two maternity leaves. If you are out on maternity, it’s unlikely you will be offered a promotion when they need someone now. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
But a man with two kids wouldn't be disadvantaged at all, that's the point. It is automatically assumed that the woman takes the mat leave and the hit to her carer
Dexy007 · 22/11/2021 03:54

Well it isn't an assumption, that's exactly how the OP and her partner/husband chose to do it.

OP is the promotion something that would require you to work full time? I have to admit i'd be wary of giving an employee who had taken two mat/pat leaves a promotion that required five days as I'd feel the request for flex / part time would follow shortly after. If they and their partner don't prioritise their career, why should I (the employer)?

I'd be more confident that an employee who had split their parental leave equally with their partner valued their career enough to warrant promotion.

Sorry to be harsh but I think that's how they'll see it if you've taken two years out whereas you could have balanced it more fairly with your other half.

Sciurus83 · 22/11/2021 04:36

I just started mat leave having got a promotion at 33 weeks. Anyone could apply for flexible working at any time for any reason. Dexy007 how sad to read you would make assumptions about applicants, discriminate as an employer and consider part time to be not committed and think that's reasonable, with friends like these eh?! Apply OP, there's only one way to find out if you're the top candidate, that's what you have control of.

4amstarts · 22/11/2021 04:47

@Ericaequites

You choose to have two children and have two maternity leaves. If you are out on maternity, it’s unlikely you will be offered a promotion when they need someone now. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
I do sort of agree with this

Just because a woman is "entitled" to a year of maternity leave doesn't mean she has to take it in full. Nothing to do with a being a man or a woman. You can't have it all - a year off and expect an employer to hold a post for you that they may need filling immediately

SinoohXaenaHide · 22/11/2021 04:50

If you are the right person for thr job and they are a decent nom-sexist employer you will get the job and they will keep the position open for you until your return. If the role absolutely must be filled at all times they may well appoint a temp maternity cover from amomg the seconf-rate runnee up candidates.

If this isn't what happens then they don't deserve to keep you and your talents so make plans to jobseek elsewhere if you aren't offered the promotion.

timeisnotaline · 22/11/2021 04:59

You have to apply to indicate you want it, as a first step, otherwise you are chopping yourself off at the knees. Then see what your options are.
I interviewed for promotion at 36 weeks pregnant and started in my new role a year later.

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